Well, dear reader, it's your lucky day! To get myself back in the NaNoWriMo mood, I'm going to give you an amazing exclusive excerpt from my NaNoWriMo Novel! Yes! I know! Okay, okay. Stop it. Stop laughing! You look ridiculous snorting like that. Stop it. I'm serious!
So, I figure laying this out there to the world and making me all literarily (see how I make up words?) vulnerable will either:
A. Embarrass me enough to finish this dang thing
B. Humiliate me enough to fix the dang thing
C. Justify ignoring my children for another two weeks so I can do both A. and B.
D. Provide some humor in this dreary time of Cheryl-being-all-depressed-and-not-really-up-to-writing-anything-thought-provoking-although-she-enjoys-it-so-much-in-general (and quoting Jane Austen because she can't help it).
Please note that this novel is chick-lit. Or an attempt at chick-lit. And it is a first draft. A very drafty first draft, I might add. The title of this book is...not in existence yet. I tend to write my titles after the fact, a habit I just realized could actually be the entire reason my books never finish. Oh, no! Blast! Now I have to re-think the whole creative process. Oh, why couldn't I have remained in ignorance just a little bit longer?! Curses!
Okay, okay. So, here's the excerpt. I'm not expecting praise or critique, although both are welcome. Did I just say that?
Did she just say that?
Yes, I said that: Praise AND Critique are welcome. But I do draw the line at personal insults, so please don't mention how hideous the zit on my right cheek looks, all right? I swear! Doesn't the skin know not to produce acne after the age of 25, which, in my case, would have been 5 years ago? Sigh, sigh, sigh.
As soon as they were out of sight, Britt whispered, “Ooh! I think I just found my date.”
Anna mumbled “Excuse me” and walked quickly down the other hallway to the bathroom. She went inside, turned on the fan and the light, shut the door, and promptly threw-up into the toilet.
Anna wiped her mouth with some paper towels, and stared at herself in the mirror. Luckily she hadn’t had much for breakfast, and her retching had been drowned out by the sound of the fan. She fixed her hair and rinsed out her mouth; she was back at the reception desk within two minutes.
“What’s wrong!” asked Britt. Obviously concerned, she sat Anna down and demanded an explanation. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine” Anna sighed.
“You don’t look fine.”
“Yeah, well, I am fine.”
“I don’t believe you, Anna. You just puked!”Anna shot her a shocked expression.
“Don’t look at me like that! I heard you. Now why would that handsome new lawyer make you go throw up? Did he really rattle you that much?”
Anna shook her head. “It’s not that.”
“Well, then what is it?”
Anna could hear Smith Sr. and Ryan coming back up the hallway, and she whispered fiercely “Not now, Britt. I’ll tell you later.”
Anna wheeled her chair over by the phone and proceeded to call stores about furniture. She needed the distraction and she didn’t want to talk with Ryan anymore. She didn’t even dare look at his face.
Wasn't that amazing!?
Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Now that I'm reading it with new eyes, I'm seriously about ready to hide myself under a rock until June.
However, I cannot quit! Never Give Up! Never Surrender! (see how I quote random SciFi comedies, too?)
P.S. Dear reader, please be honest with me, though. This post is amazingly silly and it's because humor is my self-defense mechanism (I should totally be a therapist), but I honestly need some harsh feedback on this excerpt. I know it's hard to say since it's such a short piece of the novel, but if you were to read this, would you want to know what happened before and after? Does it draw any curiosity? Or is it really just drivel? I can take it! Hack away!
P.P.S. Also, if you want more excerpts, let me know. Depending on how this goes, I may do one or two more before the end of the month (not that I would make a habit out of soliciting random/public critique! But doing it for NaNoWriMo doesn't seem so far off the beaten path for some reason...)