Thursday, June 12, 2008

Aunt Flo(w) is So Rude!

WARNING: This another one of those kinds of posts. You know, with all the talk about Women's Health. So, if you hate talk about female periods, then you might as well leave, cause it's gonna get ugly! I mean it. Stay away!

Okay, so do you remember my last Period Post? About my nasty house guest called Aunt Flo? Yes? Well, I had come to the conclusion that it must be --it must be! --my Paragard IUD that was causing all of the heavy bleeding. Some people even suggested in the comments that it might be because the IUD was placed wrong or doing damage...!

Well, last week, I had it removed and checked (so I could try a different kind of birth control), and there was nothing wrong with it, or me. Until my pelvic exam. And then the NP found some hard bumps.

Hard bumps?!

Ah, but there's nothing to worry you about, dear reader. She checked these bumps quite thoroughly (ouch) and she's quite certain they are merely fibroid cysts. They aren't too large, but she said they could be causing all the bleeding. This is consistent with my family history (I come from a long line of good bleeders, apparently), so it didn't seem a big deal. And I didn't feel any fear in my gut.

So, for now, I'm not worried. But Aunt Flo has done something the last two months she hasn't done in 10 years. She came three days early in May!
How rude!
And then she came three days even earlier in June!
The nerve!

It's actually kind of strange. I'm like a clock. 28 days from beginning to end. I know the hour I'm going to need to get myself a pad. But with this early crud going on, how am I supposed to be prepared? It reminds me of what it was like to live with a dorm-room full of girls. You know how it is --all of you share pheromones and end up on the same period schedule, right? Please tell me you had this happen, too. And isn't it annoying? Yeah, well now, unless my 7 year old daughter has started her period (oh, heaven help me!), then I don't know what's going on!

Oh, and she tricked me, too! Aunt Flo came all light and easy this month and I thought "A-ha! It was the IUD and not the fibroid cysts!" but then the very next day, the floodgates were released with a vengeance. That next day was yesterday and I had a hard time moving about, what with all the bleeding. Nasty Aunt Flo. She's so rude!

I am happy to know what's going on, though, at least where the heavy bleeding's concerned. As for the changing schedule? Eh. I'll just have to deal, I guess.

Man, I hate my relationship with Aunt Flo. On the one hand, she's needed! Wanted! It's comforting and I know it has aided in the birth of four children. But on the other hand, she's a pest. She's mean, she's uncomfortable, and I wish she'd be kinder to me like she is to other women.
Sigh.

17 comments:

Jeanette said...

You are too cute sometimes. I am sorry Aunt Flo makes things difficult for you.
Down to the hour! That would be nice to know!

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

Aunt Flo is really like a real relative: Helpful, but annoying after too much time together. :D

Julie said...

So I know that warning was totally for me and yet I have to read everything you write!
I'm sorry you are dealing with unwanted houseguests right now. It really is a bummer when they're the same ones who bring the very best gifts along every once in a while, isn't it?
Ditto MOTWB.

Amber said...

I have a roller-coaster relationship with dear Flo, depending upon my birth control de choix. It is better than the alternative: menopause!

bythelbs said...

I'm just so relieved you're now referring to it as "Aunt Flo" instead of "Aunt Flow". "Flow" was just a little too graphic for my delicate sensibilities.

I hope she checks out of Hotel Cheryl soon!

Smith Life said...

My mom had fibroid tumors and they caused her heavy bleeding and really bad cramps. They got so big that they had to be removes. One was the size of a 6 month old fetus. Now that they are gone, everything is back to the way they use to be. Hope all goes well with you! Oh ya.. this is Sarah Smith from the CV3 ward! We miss you.

Cheryl said...

Sarah, did you move to CV3? I'm so glad to see your comment! I miss you guys, too.

Bythelbs-
Yes, yes. I know. Your delicat sensibilities are so...tame. (snort!)

Amber-
Yes! Menopause would be very sad (and bad) at my age. This is true!

Julie-
Actually, I think the warning was more for my grandparents and my dad, although you did cross my mind as I was writing it. :)

MotWB-
Yes! She is like a real relative. Well, one that annoys me, perhaps? Annoys me but I love 'em anyway.

Jeanette-
It was nice to know down to the hour! It was! Now I'm back to not knowing. Ah, well.

Leslie said...

Does it make you feel any better if I tell you I was having my period last week (yes, in Disneyland)? And that I could hardly walk around, and that...I have a love/hate relationship with Flo too. She's just a meanie! Oh and...I have had a problem with spotting for up to 5 days before my period starts...I never know when the spotting is going to start and then I never know when the period is going to start...Funny thing is...I'm still never prepared.

RoAnn said...

Ah, I remember those irregular and even surprise visits from Aunt Flo. . . .

One of the perks of being an older grandmother is that she never comes around anymore. It's true that I wasn't fond of that hot, flashy niece of hers who hung around my place for a couple of years after Aunt Flo disappeared, but now she's gone too, and I find I don't miss either one of them one bit. :)

I'm so glad that your problem isn't life-threatening, and I hope things get back to normal for you soon, Cheryl!

Jumbo Shrimp said...

Curse you Aunt Flo!

Julie said...

You mean each and every post doesn't begin and end with me in mind? Rats.

He He! Never thought about your dad reading this. Yikes. I bet he's glad for the disclaimer.....

Clare said...

When I dated a guy in high school, he re-named Aunt Flo to Tom. Tom stands for Time of Month. And well, since then, it's been: 'Sorry I'm so mean, Tom came to visit.'

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

Roann's cracking me up with "that hot, flashy niece of her's" ha ha!
And clare with Tom, good one!

Allie said...

I never had a good relationship with her...ever! After my last kid, she got ripped out of my life...so I dont have to have her knocking at my door for 3 weeks just to have a break for 4 days...
ahhh, i love not having aunt flo :)

Sara said...

i love how honest you are on your blog. i wish i had the guts to write exactly what was on my mind.

just want you to know i usually drop by and read every day but i'm a slacker at commenting. it seems like everyone else has already said what i thought to say.
but i know how much i love it when people comment on my blog, so i should give the same courtesy. ;)

and WAY TO GO on making lifetime! that's soooooo cool.

Cheryl said...

sara-
You're allowed to lurk and not comment. But you are right --I love comments even more! :) I wish I was more faithful at commenting on others' blogs, too. I read everything you write, by the way. Not sure if that makes me a bad friend for not commenting, or a good friend for reading. :)

Allie-
Girl, stop rubbing it in! But I am happy for you. :)

Julie-
Most of them begin and end with you in mind. Most of them. No worries. Ha!

Leslie-
Yes! I do feel better although I feel awful for you. Yuck! No fun.

Roann-
Thank you! I agree with MotWB --you're too funny!

Clare-
Ooh! I like Tom. That's very appropriate. Of course, it would be a man that would have such little understanding. It makes so much sense!
And welcome to the blog! Thanks for coming by.

Jumbo Shrimp-
Curse it, indeed!

Cristy said...

My periods were definitely heavier with an IUD, and after getting it out, I wouldn't be surprised if it could mess your system up for a bit. I've also heard that periods get easier after childbirth, but for me Aunt Flow comes for some very intense visits now! I'd really like to hear this part of the plan explained to me someday in heaven.... ;)