WARNING: This post has a lot of personal information about female cycles and forms of birth control. If that's just stuff you can't handle, please do not read! Seriously, I ain't joking here, people. It's all comin' out! Well, within reason. I mean, I do have my pride, you know --what little there is left after giving birth four times...
So, it's no secret that I have hormonal problems. I've spoken candidly about my post-partum depression, and recently I've spoken about my PMS-depression. The reality is that my depression is triggered hormonally. But what I have not shared with you is that I have other problems when it comes to this natural biological thing we call menstruation: My flood days.
See, there's a reason it's called Aunt Flow --and flow, she does! I've always had a heavy period, but this year, it's been really bad. I blame my form of birth control. I have a ParaGard IUD, and frankly? I love it. I adore it. This is the second time I have used such a device, and I really like it as birth control. Seriously, it rocks! But for some reason, it has turned Aunt Flow into Aunt Niagara Falls. Holy cow, people! The worst days? Two and Three. Day one is the warning. Day Four, Five, and Six, the floods recede. Day Seven? The fading good-bye. But man, Days Two and Three? It's almost like after-birth!
I was expecting this, a little, though. Periods do get heavier with an IUD; especially the non-hormonal one. Which is what I wanted. No hormones, I mean. Personally, I like knowing that everything is working properly; I like the clockwork. I like to know I'm whether I'm pregnant or not the natural way because I tend to worry. But now I'm starting to re-think my decision. Not just because of the heavy periods, but because of the hormones I think my body desperately wants to balance. [No worries there, though, dear reader! These are all things I'm planning on exploring once we get to Utah in the coming weeks.]
Now, back to the heaviness factor. This causes problems when faced with important tasks. Like any form of exercise. Or doing something big. Like packing boxes and moving furniture. Which normally wouldn't matter, except guess what I'm doing? Exactly. So, basically, yesterday? On flow day Number Two? Nothin' got done, baby. Well, a box here and there, perhaps. Maybe some errands. But not nearly what I wanted to get done. Not even close. Just chalk it up to another day trying to entertain Aunt Flow.
Okay, now I know this subject bothers a lot of people. Women included! This candid talk about the body's private functions can totally turn people off. And that's okay. For you, maybe. But not for me! I have to talk about this stuff, because I have to deal with this stuff. For a whole week! Out of every four! That's a lot of weeks, you know. Oh, wait. You do know? You have to go through this, too? How delightful for me! Because now I get to hear about it!
So, dear women (or men, who, for some strange reason find this subject fascinating for whatever reason) how do you deal with the Aunt Flow in your life? Are you Lucky Light or Hellish Heavy? Or do you even care? I'm truly not above you telling me that this subject makes you gag. Just be sure to rate your gaginess, okay? Remember, this is for posterity, so please...be honest. (Brownie points if you name that movie!)