Friday, June 20, 2014

It's Not About A Certain Amount

Things to write about: 
*Nana's visit (Brandon's mom)
*Father's Day
*End of school
*5th grade graduation
*Start of summer

Instead, I'm waxing all philosophical and poetic. Correction: I'm attempting to wax philosophical and poetic...


I'm thinking about families and big families, in particular. 

I'm part of a private group of women who have chosen, because of personal revelation, to have large families. These women are strong in the gospel, truly live their covenants, and have desired (along with their amazing husbands) to seek the will of the Lord when it comes to bearing children. They bothered to ask Him what He wanted them to do, and for the most part, this means they have children --even when it's hard. 

Have I spoken of this before? Probably. But they are inspiring! And I love them so much. 

One woman had four kids and then, through inspiration, had her tubes tied. Next, they adopted their foster baby. Then, in a miraculous way, the tubal was reversed and they've since had two more children! 

One woman just gave birth to her 10th child (all single births). 

One woman has had two sets of twins!

One woman is pregnant with her 12th. 

Another woman's husband reversed a vasectomy and because of it, they've had three more children and will soon have their 9th child. 

One woman has endured many, many miscarriages (after having many kids) and is finally pregnant with one that seems to be holding (we're praying for her!). 

Many have had stillborns. Many (all of us?) have had miscarriages. There are several sets of twins. Some women are on bed-rest with each pregnancy, some have home-births, some have c-sections. Some women have had children with special needs. Some have had only boys or only girls. Some have had children quickly (close together) and some have waited years in between. Some use birth control, many do not. Some have reached the end of their child-bearing years and are entering a new stage of grand-mothering. Some are still pleading with the Lord to send them another child if it be His will. 

These women are incredible. It's not because they have an "x" amount of children --it's because they have decided that they are willing to sacrifice money, time, and personal pursuits in order to follow the will of God. For whatever reason, Heavenly Father has asked them to have children, and they are obeying. For some, it is excruciatingly difficult to obey! And it's hard. So hard. But they are faithful in all things. I'm honored to be a part of them; I'm honored to learn from their examples and experiences! 

One final note: For some, God has told them not to have many children. God has asked them to stop, and some He has asked not to have any. Some have adopted, some will never have children. For these women I want to tell you: You are doing exactly as these other faithful women are doing. You are faithfully honoring your covenants and turning your decisions over to God and He loves you and honors you. The goal is not a certain number of children --the goal is to follow God's will. And for that, you, dear reader, are amazing! Because you are bothering to include Him in your decisions. You are allowing Him to be a part of your lives. And He will bless you for it. I promise. I know this to be true! 


Katrina said...

I LOVE the end about how it is not about the number of children; it is about following the will of the Lord. And I also love how you said that goes for everyone who is trying to learn the Lord's will for them, no matter how hard it may be to accept, and to have it become their will. Great post!

Life is a Zoo in the Jungle said...

I appreciated your final comment, because I have often wondered if only have 3 makes me selfish. I know that God knows and loves me and I trust in Him. It probably is selfish that I don't want anymore right now. But I have had a confirmation from a Father that loves me that this too is His will. That my family will be best served (I don't know why) as we are. I have often told my husband that it is because God would like me to remain sane; but in all truthfulness I feel that I will have a child who will require more than I can give should I have more. I hope to fulfill my motherly calling in a way that is pleasing to the Lord and by serving my husband and children to the best of my ability. God be with you and your beautiful children as you continue to follow His plan for you.

FoxyJ said...

As someone whose family size has been limited by medical issues and divorce, I have prayed about this a lot. A few years ago I realized that, at least in my mind, family size is similar to tithing or other offerings. I kept having that scripture from King Benjamin run through my mind--"It is better to say I give not because I don't have enough to give, but if I had I would give" (I'm totally paraphrasing here, I should go look it up). In other words, the Lord was most concerned about the desires of my heart than the size of my offering. Do I love children? Yes. Do I love being a mother? yes. Would I have more children if I could? Yes, probably ("could" is complicated). Do I support the family and believe that God wants us to have families? Yes. I know that sacrifice, stretching ourselves, and giving more than we think we can are all good principles. I also know, though, that God has an individual plan for us and that what we become in this life is just as important as what we do. Anyways, I hope that made sense. That was, for me, a comforting answer.

Britt Kelly said...

I absolutely agree that God's will is different for everyone. With this critically important aspect of life, we have to trust God. That may mean more than we think we can handle...or far less than we want. It becomes a struggle either trust that God knows best.

Annette Lyon said...

We're so much on the same wavelength on this one (even though our family sizes differ), that my gut reaction was, "Well, of course you ask the Lord who *doesn't?"

But that's your point! Some supposedly devout members don't bother making it a matter of sincere prayer.

That right there boggles the mind.

It's such an important decision, one that literally has eternal consequences. It's right up there with who you marry in the first place.

cheryl cardall said...

When Dave and I married we promised The Lord we would have as many children as he would give us. After two I was told I probably wouldn't have more. I was devastated because I had always wanted a large family. I came to peace with it thought that if that was the Lords will then so be it. Fortunately with an inspired doctor and multiple blessings I have 3 more miracle children. After my last baby my doctor who is devout LDS and loves big families, looked me in the eye and said, "you have 3 miracles, but you need to be done as I'm afraid your miracles with having babies are over." I knew he spoke the truth and I know I have the family God wants me to have. In at least one thing in my life I have totally submitted my will to His and seen amazing things happen