Thursday, March 27, 2014

The Goings On (Brain Dumping)

Brain dumping time!

#5 has been a bit sick the last few days, which means I missed #3's Pinewood Derby (his first! I was bummed, but it was okay because Brandon sent me a video via text of every single race. He came in 5th out of 20 cars! Go him!) but I got some photos of the goofball (I say that lovingly) before they left:






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The weather has been very typical Spring --snow and wind and then sun and warmth.

In the spring I have counted one hundred and thirty-six different kinds of weather 
inside of four and twenty hours. 
 ~Mark Twain

I'm not sure how I feel about it. I have a love/hate relationship with Spring. I think it's the lack of consistency, and one of the reasons I adore Autumn. Autumn is predictable! Autumn is warm and then cools and then gets colder and colder and it's... gradual. It's a gorgeous symphony of aging deliberately and consistently. 

Another reason I don't like this Spring weather (although I'm liking the sun) is because my desire to get outside and start walking is being impeded by it. Okay, truly, it's being impeded by three very large obstacles: 
1. A place to walk
2. A time to walk
3. The weather 

A place? I could walk on our street (safer than the other main road), but going to the pond and back is still only 1.33 miles. I'd need to walk it three times. Which, now that I think about it, is not that big of a deal... Neither is walking carefully (or even driving) to the park where I can do the loop 4 or 5 times... Okay, so a place is no longer an excuse.

But a time? I'd have to go at 5:30 in the morning. I'm not really up for that right now. I could go in the evening, but that's Brandon time after kids go to bed... Unless I could convince him to come with me... hmmm... Or I really could just get my rear end out of bed at 5:30AM. I mean, I'm up at 6:30 already, what's another hour? 

The weather... who cares, right? I've gone running in rain and snow, what's a bit of wind and chill? 

When do you exercise, dear reader? Right now I'm simply doing push ups and sit ups and jumping jacks in the house periodically when the kids aren't whining or begging for my attention. 

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I don't hate the women and men who have chosen to join Ordain Women (Mormon women who are petitioning and protesting the LDS Church to ordain women to the Priesthood). I'm sad for them, as I said on my Facebook wall a while ago, but I'm not angry with them: 

What I find interesting is that the petition's numbers are less than 2,000. That number includes men, too (it's not all women who signed it) and out of 15 million people, it's really not that high of a number, and most are English speaking (maybe all?). Also, that they feel petitioning the Prophet will somehow change God. I really don't understand it, either. And I do feel sorry for them. Very sorry that they feel pain, they feel somehow less than they are, that they feel this will also somehow solve all the problems they think it will. I also feel sorry they've experienced unrighteous dominion (if they have) and I feel sorry they are so focused on what they don't have, they can't see what they do have. I don't feel these things in anger or frustration --just pity, really. That will offend many (my pity), but it's the best I can do at this point. I just pray they will find some peace, and that they'll stay in the Church as they find it.

I have family members who are a part of this movement. Granted, they won't speak to me, anymore, but still... It's odd, because I've watched this movement grow and I've seen how semantics have changed from "we would never desire to change doctrine" to "this is what God wants us to do." It's interesting to observe... But as I said, I hope these women stay in the Church, I hope they find peace, and I hope they will choose to listen to God's prophets and apostles, as well as all of their women leaders.

Because as I said to a family member once, "Why in the world would God give us more women leaders when the people clamoring for them won't even listen to the ones He's already given us?"

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Speaking of women! I'm really excited for the Women's Broadcast this Saturday night! I was looking forward to this meeting a year ago when #1 had turned 12, but now I get to take both of my daughters! We are going to have such a great time. I'm thrilled to be able to hear from our Church leaders and our prophet!


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It looks like I might have caught what #5 has had... but I think it's just a cold. I hope. Brandon is finally getting better, and so we don't need more sickness around here!

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The distance of the church is finally starting to wear on us. It only took 5 months...

It's truly a sacrifice to go to the church as often as we do (Mutual, church, activities, meetings, broadcasts, firesides/devotionals, etc.) and we discussed the possibility of moving closer (when we do move; probably not for another year or two or three...). It's not just the gas money, but the time it takes! I'm trying not to let it wear on me, but it makes for some very long Sundays (we usually stay an hour for choir practice, and sometimes we have to go early for meetings or things) and some advanced planning. But we love our ward, and we've felt guided to be here, so we will continue to go and not complain. What's a 30 minute drive, anyway? Some people live in countries where they have to take the train or bus for several hours. Some live far away from cities, anyway, and driving that far is a given to get to anything...

I also told Brandon I need to back off and stop saying "yes" to everything, too... mostly because wow! We have been bombarded with so many opportunities to serve! I was used to helping and serving in our last ward, but it didn't feel so... time consuming? It's not that serving here is stressful (it's actually pretty laid back and relaxed; lower expectations, it seems. Not bad expectations! No! Just not as... expected? Is that a phrase? Not expected expectations?) --it just feels like we are doing a lot. I usually sign up to help with everything because they just don't have very many hands to do it all. I never volunteer begrudgingly! I never sign up with impatience or frustration! I want to help, I really do.

So, yes, I'll make 3 dozen cookies for the shelter and yes, I'll feed the missionaries often, and yes, I'll attend the baptisms, and yes, I'm happy to substitute here and here, and yes, I'll feed so-and-so, and yes, we're happy to help host the youth, and yes, I'll do my visiting teaching, and yes, I'll bring a salad to the baptism, and yes, I'll make all this food for the monthly potluck, and yes, we'll sing at the nursing home (really looking forward to this, actually), and yes, the kids will help with this/that, and yes... I almost feel like in my last ward, I wasn't doing very much, now! Sure, I was fulfilling my calling and taking meals to those who needed it, but wow, it didn't feel so consuming.

And I think I know why. I think it's because first of all, it only took me 2 minutes to drive to so-and-so's house, and that's because she lived the furthest away in the ward. Making meals was a piece of cake because the girls could walk it over. Everything was easy because everything was physically close. In fact, that might be the only reason! The advantage of a ward within walking distance is an incredible blessing!

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This morning, as I went to the bathroom just before scripture study, I looked out the window (as I always do) to look at the sunrise and I saw four deer (five?) grazing in our backyard. It was a beautiful site and I just loved it so much. Everything about it, from the sun just peaking over the trees, to the serene scene of the animals quietly eating, to the silence of our home (we hadn't woken up the kids quite, yet), to the sleepiness I was still brushing from my mind... it was just so... peaceful.

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DEPRESSION UPDATE:

The meds seem to be working. I might have to go up in dosage, though --we'll see next week. Brandon told me that he thinks I'm doing much better (in fact, he said he's been pleasantly surprised at how well I'm doing) and I am. PMS this month was more a blip, rather than a complete meltdown, and although I still felt moody and irritable, it was controllable. This is good.

I'm still not sure about therapy. I have another session next week, so I'll need to reassess at that point.

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Good books I've read lately (because I've read some really dumb ones, too):

Good, Clean Murder (A Plain Jane Mystery) by Traci Tyne Hilton
The Widow of Larkspur Inn by Lawana Blackwell
Fancy Pants by Cathy Marie Hake
The Misremembered Man by Christina McKenna
Glimmer of Hope by Sarah Eden
Deep in the Heart by Staci Stallings

Most of them are Christian novels, and it was hard, sometimes, to read the modern Evangelical vernacular in what was supposed to be historical fiction (like in Fancy Pants and in The Widow of Larkspur Inn). But I don't mind religious meaning in LDS books, so I figured some forgiveness was in order for these, especially since the stories were pretty good and the writing was, too! Not necessarily pulitzer prize winning, but not eye-rolling or confusing.

Next on my list:

Divergent by Veronica Roth (although I'm already kind of over post-apocalyptic dystopian societal Y/A romances. But my girls want to read this trilogy, so I must read it first!)
The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver
Beyond Justice by John Grisham
When Crickets Cry by Charles Martin

aaaaaand a bunch of other Christian romances. Because I love romance, dear reader! No shame from me.

What are you reading right now? 

4 comments:

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

Yay for saying no sometimes!

The Wright Family said...

I'm trying to exercise in the first half hour after I get the big kids off to school, and the littles are willing to settle in and watch a cartoon. We'll see if it works, I've found some things I can do indoors until the weather clears.

We moved when I was a teenager to an area that was building a closer church (30 min) but we had to drive an hour until it was finished. I don't think my parents know this, but it really helped me see that church was important to them- to see them get up early, drive without complaint, and spend the better part of Sunday "doing" church. What a bother for you- but maybe a chance for your kids to see how much you value the Gospel in your life!

Have you ever read "The Education of Little Tree"? It's not a romance, but so wonderful! I love that you pre-read for your kids, I do too!

cheryl cardall said...

I found some beginner yoga videos on youtube as well as Leslie Sansone walking videos which are really good workouts. I work out right after I drop my kids off and my little guy watches TV for 30-45 minutes.

Stephanie said...

Have you ever read Georgette Heyer? Specifically "Arabella" or "The Grand Sophy", or "False Colors" or "Frederica"? I'm not reading them right now, but I LOVE them, and they're clean romance.