Thursday, May 09, 2013

Attitude Shift and Confession

I am sitting in my bathrobe on the couch. The big kids have left for school, Brandon is still away on business, #5 is eating nachos (his favorite breakfast --don't ask), and #6 is trying to steal off of #5's plate. Bubble Guppies is playing on the television, and I am sitting here, typing, thinking of the things I need to get done today.

However, I'm not feeling stress about any of it. None.

I read two short blog posts today. The first one is about changing our hobbies. The next one is about sinking in.

I was reminded about this post I wrote years and years ago --about how a single shift in attitude (guided by the Spirit) resulted in miraculous mothering.

I'm feeling that shift again. Sure, the baby shrieks, the kids fight, the laundry is never-ending, but big deal. If the exchange for my children is some daily chores (chores I'd still have to do without having any children --laundry, cooking, cleaning toilets, taking out garbage, doing dishes, paying bills, etc) then I think I'm getting the best deal in the world!

The house will get clean. I'll shower and dress, I'll take the boys to the park. Having a bratty attitude doesn't change that --it only makes us all miserable.


Confession time:

1. I have now been off antidepressants for three months.

2. It was not a flippant decision, although it was mine and not a doctor's (long story).

3. I have thought more clearly and felt more easily in the last three months than I have for the last four years.

4. I am absolutely reserving the right to go back on them if needed (so don't start typing up a comment about how I'm being careless).

5. Therapy was the main reason I could this. Therapy was invaluable! It taught me the skills needed to manage my day-to-day stress, how to end toxic interactions with people, and how to stop my depression "train" of thought. I'm not perfect at it, but I am doing it.

6. I would be a liar if I didn't also attribute it to the Atonement of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father's timing. I believe strongly in both.

7. I do not recommend this to everyone. Meds are miraculous and can and should be used if needed. I'm not anti-meds. I'm pro-doing-what-works-for-your-brain.


sariqd said...

No judgement from this corner of the world! One thing - I hate how we have to "cover our bases" by saying things like "don't judge" or "I reserve the right to..." and etc. Makes me sad that we can't just say things and not be judged. Wouldn't it be awesome to just hear "Whatever rocks your boat is fine with me because you're you and I'm me." type of thing. So with that I say - Good job for making choices that are positive!

Cheryl said...

YES! Thank you! It would be nice. I probably should follow that advice, too. I'm totally guilty of that --assuming things that aren't written.