I am sitting in my bathrobe on the couch. The big kids have left for school, Brandon is still away on business, #5 is eating nachos (his favorite breakfast --don't ask), and #6 is trying to steal off of #5's plate. Bubble Guppies is playing on the television, and I am sitting here, typing, thinking of the things I need to get done today.
However, I'm not feeling stress about any of it. None.
I read two short blog posts today. The first one is about changing our hobbies. The next one is about sinking in.
I was reminded about this post I wrote years and years ago --about how a single shift in attitude (guided by the Spirit) resulted in miraculous mothering.
I'm feeling that shift again. Sure, the baby shrieks, the kids fight, the laundry is never-ending, but big deal. If the exchange for my children is some daily chores (chores I'd still have to do without having any children --laundry, cooking, cleaning toilets, taking out garbage, doing dishes, paying bills, etc) then I think I'm getting the best deal in the world!
The house will get clean. I'll shower and dress, I'll take the boys to the park. Having a bratty attitude doesn't change that --it only makes us all miserable.
1. I have now been off antidepressants for three months.
2. It was not a flippant decision, although it was mine and not a doctor's (long story).
3. I have thought more clearly and felt more easily in the last three months than I have for the last four years.
4. I am absolutely reserving the right to go back on them if needed (so don't start typing up a comment about how I'm being careless).
5. Therapy was the main reason I could this. Therapy was invaluable! It taught me the skills needed to manage my day-to-day stress, how to end toxic interactions with people, and how to stop my depression "train" of thought. I'm not perfect at it, but I am doing it.
6. I would be a liar if I didn't also attribute it to the Atonement of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father's timing. I believe strongly in both.
7. I do not recommend this to everyone. Meds are miraculous and can and should be used if needed. I'm not anti-meds. I'm pro-doing-what-works-for-your-brain.