Friday, October 05, 2012

And It Came to Pass

Oh, geeze. I'm having a rough time right now. I could blame it on my lack of sleep (and probably just stop there) or my depression (why not, eh?), but the truth is that I just hit a wall. A wall of children. Haha! Ha. Sigh.

Anyway, this morning I was trying to get the kids' coloring packets ready for general conference on a slow computer and the printer kept getting jammed and I had to re-print a bazillion pages and something that should have taken 5 minutes took 60. Blerg. I was supposed to print off some coloring pages, too, but after the packet-printing debacle I decided that the kids need LESS, not MORE and that means LESS, not MORE. So I will not be printing off coloring pages.

The house is a disaster. Worse than usual. Yesterday was a hard day for me and I ended up reading a book and doing nothing and complaining to my husband who, because he is awesome, made dinner for us instead of telling me to just buck up (that man is my hero). I want to get the house clean for General Conference, but between the printing debacle, nursing, diaper-changing, feeding, wasting time blogging, piano lessons, grocery shopping, and the football game tonight, I'm wondering, "When in the world will it get done!?"

When? I mean, honestly, it won't happen while the kids live here in my home. I'm looking at 20 more years of this, dear reader. Twenty. At minimum. And that is why I write posts about what makes me happy and that I'm brave and a queen and a soldier and how I'm the glue. Sticky glue that won't wash off in water. But whatever --I believe those things (the queen/soldier thing) even when I have bad days and horrible days and days which make me understand why women run away to start careers as marketers and lawyers (no offense to marketers and lawyers, but, yes, offense to those who abandon their families). And then, of course, I wonder why I even feel bad in the first place. The guilt comes ("don't you realize how amazing your life is, Cheryl?") but then it's followed by reality ("you have a mental problem, child, this is why you medicate"), and then I cry a lot and get over it.

Because the truth is that the house will be clean eventually (probably today, with the help of my kiddos) and General Conference will be awesome, and the baby will be fed and everything will be just fine and dandy. It will! Do you want to know how I know this? The scriptures tell us, "And it came to pass." Nowhere does it say, "And it came to stay." (Have I talked about this before with you, dear reader? If so, just move along). I mean, if things came to stay, then we could panic and moan. But as long as we are mortal, things will pass. We can overcome. We can change. We can get the &%$* pages printed and the dang house clean. Without swearing, too! I'm sure of it.

Hey, so happy weekend and October Fall and General Conference to you! I hope you have an awesome time of it. I really do.


swedemom said...

I hate dealing with a messy house. I'm looking at the weekend chaos and feeling too tired tonight to tackle it.

WoozleMom said...

Even if you have talked about "And it came to pass" before (and I can't remember if you have or haven't, either), I'm glad you mentioned it again. It helped me today!

I am also very excited about General Conference. We moved 3-4 hours away from family a couple of months ago (we had been within an hour of both sets of parents), and this weekend is the first chance we've had to go visit. Should be fun!

Thanks for your comment on my blog last night. It seriously made my day. :)

Luisa Perkins said...

I also have six kids (though they range in age from 18 to 4) and I also struggle with depression. I'll hang in there if you will. :)