It's so hard not to feel like I'm ruining my children. Do any of you feel that way? It's not so much that I'm worried about leading them "astray" --in fact, I think the only thing I'm proud of the most is that my kids have a very real and truthful grasp of Gospel knowledge --what I'm worried about is the way in which I quickly brush their emotional needs aside, forget to take time to love them and play games with them, yell way too much (my ongoing struggle) and teach them terrible coping skills, mostly because I have loads of terrible coping skills.
Anybody else feel the same way? That they are ruining their children --inadvertently? Because let's face it --we're not doing it on purpose, that's for sure! Or are you? If you are, we probably need to have a discussion (or I may need to make a phone call...and then walk away slowly...).
Our Bishopric has challenged us to read the Book of Mormon from front to back by the end of the year as a family. At first, I thought, "Hooray! We already are! We are in Alma!" and then I realized they meant: "Start Over."
I'm pretty sure I want to follow their counsel and start over. But it's pretty tempting to just keep going. Reading the BoM as a family has been great for us --but we've been slow. It's taken us almost 2 years to get to this point! Our kids are very young and read their verses very slowly. We get in about 12 versus each morning.
But I want to be obedient. Brandon and I have come up with a good agreement, but I want to ask you, dear reader: What would you do?
By the end of this week, the office will be finished, as will the cleaning of our master bedroom. That means we will just have to focus on the older boys' room downstairs. Birth supply list is finished. Baby clothes are ready to be washed and sorted. Baby name listed is compiled. I only need to decide on my music (I don't train with music for months. I'm weird that way), and find a willing babysitter for when I go into labor during the day.
Five weeks or so to go. I can't wait to hold this little guy!