Pretend this is the picture of the same weight. 192.7 pounds.
Normally, I would be angry. Ticked off, really. But I'm not. And I'm gonna tell you why:
1. I have been eating smaller portions and whole(er) foods.
2. I have been exercising!
3. I've been staying on top of my meds, my meals, and my life in general.
For example, a story!
I have this awesome friend named Jill. I love that girl! Anyway, she and I ran our first 5K together about four years ago. Since then, we've both had two more kids each --and needless to say, we need to get back into shape! Early morning was too hard (her hubby leaves for work early, early), and so we started kind of a walking group. We would go to the church parking lot with all of our kids in tow after the big kids left for school (around 8:45AM). Between us, the little kids equaled five. We would bring treats/toys for the bigger ones and push the babies in strollers around the perimeter of the parking lot. Soon, 3 more ladies and their kiddos joined us. For two weeks, this worked!
But not really.
Every twenty seconds, some kid would interrupt, force us to stop, and...repeat. We found ourselves stopping more often than going! We tried to be firm, but how do you tell your 2 year old that he's just gonna have to deal with the blood? Or the need to go potty? It got frustrating, and pretty soon our motivation waned. How in the world could we expect to lose weight with all the stopping?
So, Jill and I decided we would just have to bite the bullet and start going at 6AM again. Last week we started!
But not really.
Jill has a nursing baby and some insomnia. Long story short? She just can't do it. At least not yet! Maybe in the spring. I could do it, though! We tried to convince the other 3 ladies to join us, but it didn't work out. Because of this, my schedule last week was this:
Monday: Labor Day. Slept in, baby!
Tuesday: Two ladies met me --huzzah! We walked for an hour. Then that night they told me they couldn't do it anymore; evenings were better for them. Which, honestly, is cool with me. No hard feelings!
Wednesday: Nobody came. Walked by myself. Boo-yah!
Thursday: Nobody came. I fell asleep on the church grass for about 15 minutes while waiting. Woke up, went home.
Friday: Nobody came. Went home.
I was pretty discouraged. Frustrated at myself for my lack of motivation. Angry that I couldn't force myself to just go! Let down that nobody else came. Didn't they know I needed them??
But then I went to Stake Conference. And I heard what Elder Holland said about being prepared to serve the Lord. Most people probably noticed the spiritual aspect of it. I just focused on the word physically. In fact, I'm betting he was inspired to say that just for me!
So, yesterday, I woke up at 6AM. I came downstairs. I spent 30 minutes clearing out a place in the disastrous family room (and muttered over and over how the kids were gonna clean it after school --which they did!) and trying to find the DVD remote. But I didn't give up! I made a space. I found the remote. And I turned on the Jillian DVD (30 Day Shred).
And did it.
This morning, I again woke up at 6AM. I came downstairs. In a very clean family room, I laid out my yoga mat. I turned on Jillian's Yoga Meltdown.
And I did it.
Now, this may be premature, but I feel so powerful right now! I finally realized --finally, finally, finally, finally --after years and years of self-motivation-failure, that if I'm going to get myself into a healthier, stronger place, then I will have to do it. I will have to be my own motivation. I will have to push myself. I can't put it on anybody else not showing up to exercise with me. I can't put it upon Alison Wonderland to motivate me from afar. I can't put it upon Brandon's schedule or the baby's schedule or anything else. It has to be ME from ME to ME. And if I love myself enough, then I should be able to do it!
It's hard, though. Really hard. I've been praying every night that I will have the strength to get up and get going. To not eat so much. Because I want this, dear reader! I remember what it felt like to be strong and healthy. I want that back! But this time, it looks like I'm going to do it BY MYSELF. Brandon won't be my competition. I won't have a class to go to twice a week. I won't even have a partner to exercise with. It's all ME.
And I'm okay with that!
What motivates you to exercise? What does it take to get you to exercise, if at all? Did you lose any weight this week? How goes the healthy eating?
8 comments:
Great post, Cheryl. It's so hard to stay motivated.
I took a 2 month hiatus from Jillian's DVD because I lost it and then when I finally broke down and ordered a new one, my habit had been broken and I was a lazy bones again. But I set a date and decided I would start working out again when school started. And I have. Well, except today because I was up with sick kids most of the night and, while I didn't sleep in, I was pretty much completely tied up with trying to get everyone ready this morning. By the time I was able to exercise, it was late enough in the day that I just wanted a shower.
I think what motivates me to exercise is the way I feel when I do. I just feel better, my posture's better, I feel more confident, and I feel better mentally.
Also, I'm going on a trip in the Fall where swimsuits are a requirement, so I'd like to feel confident in mine. But mostly the feel good part. :)
Good for you! Keep up the momentum!
I know the feeling...EXACTLY!!! You can do it!
I feel so much better when I consistently work out. At times it is difficult to motivate myself to exercise and I take a break once in awhile which I think is healthy(Break=1 day off every so often rather than taking 5 days off each week.
Working out with others can be helpful. I go to Spin with a friend on Monday, Plyo with friends on Tues at my place so I have to be ready at 6a :)
Wow, this is a long comment. Keep going Cheryl!
I saw this last week, maybe the week before. I wanted to commit, but didn't want to fail out in the open.
I weighed in last week, just in case I decided that I'd say I was in. 190.5 (up from where I left off, but just a few pounds right?). I weighed in today fully expecting up numbers, it's been a little crazy, sick kids and I've only worked out 3 of the last 7 days. 189.5.
I hear your frustration on the walking partner thing. I've gone through multiple gym partners. Hopefully not because I was a drain on them.I was ALWAYS there. Obsessively so.
I LOVE having a partner to meet up with. Someone else counting on me to help motivate them. That's my motivation.
I started walking/running in the spring with a semi-reliable partner. She made it 3 out of 5 days most weeks. On the off chance she didn't show up I'd go home and run on the treadmill in the basement for the remainder of the time. Then she got a stress fracture, or rather I should say she'd had a stress fracture before we started and ignored it. For 3 weeks!! It got to the point where she couldn't even walk. So she signed out. I was bummed. Skipped a week. Then a family member said she wanted to go, but only 3 days a week. So we've been going all summer, 3 days a week. I run on my treadmill the other 2. No poundage loss. (No gain either) But it raised a huge red flag. Watch your eating, or you're only getting half the benefit of the working out. (And at 53 pounds above the medical charts number for healthy, I need that other benefit).
Checking in with someone else is also a powerful motivator for me. Unless I feel completely under the wagon, and don't want to say I've failed out loud. Let alone in front of a gazillion strangers.
We're going to Las Vegas in February and Fiji in March. A swim suit will be a necessary item to pack. I'd like to feel self assured in that swim suit.
You can do it! Seriously, if i can you can. (I know that that sounds silly coming from the crazy workout girl that I've become but I was not always here. In fact, I'm new to this place, very new.)
But I was thinking tonight as I rode my bike home from work "this is why we wanted bodies. This is why our Father wanted us to have bodies! I'm tired, I'm sweating, but I feel amazing!"
You can do it and your Father wants you to. That's why he wanted you to have a body.
Hey, I weighed in this morning and I had lost 2 lbs! The trick? I'm sure it has something to do with portion control- control being used loosly here because it's more I got caught up in projects. We played frizbee with the kids and had races for FHE last night and I realized I've got to get faster because my 5 an 7 year old are almost as fast as I am! I'm a nicer mom when I excersize, more things get done in the house and with my cleaning list when I exersize and get out the door. It's just a bit hard losing weight when I nurse...go figure. Keep it up, good luck and all that jazz. It really is up to you. We've got to keep these bodies God gave us in good condition I think. Shows we love Him
So. I joined WW today. Even going to meetings. Talk about a first. I weighed in at 201. Yeah. I weighed 200 pounds on the day I was induced with my first born. Yikes.
I've been working out though. I started volleyball this week too. And my friend is doing step aerobics a couple times a week with me.
About this 30-Day Shred that you and Julie do. Does Jillian make you jump a lot? I'd like to try it but I can't jump. At all. Let me know!
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