Sunday, January 31, 2010

Baby #5 is So Different and Whining From Yours Truly

I am having a heck-of-a-time with #5. And I'm not sure what to do.
  1. He will not take a binky. We gave up trying to give him one months ago. I'm okay with this, though, because binkies are not attached to the body and are easily lost. They also get dirty, fall out of their mouths at night, etc. And since he hasn't started sucking his thumb? We're good to go. For now.
  2. He refuses to take a bottle. Absolutely refuses. He won't take it from me, from Brandon, from a babysitter, from his older sister...nobody. Will. Not. Take. One. I'm okay with this one, too. Breast milk is better for him, it's free, and then I can wean him from breast to cup, right? Right?
  3. He refuses to eat solid food. This one is hard. He is over 6 months old and hates rice cereal and bananas. He just won't eat it! I've tried different methods, but nothing works. However, with this one, I'm not giving up. He needs to learn how to eat solid food --it's not for the nutrition, it's for the practicality! One day he'll have to eat only solid food, so he needs to learn how to eat it.
  4. He won't sleep at night. He wants to co-sleep and he wants to be nursed back to sleep. This one is my fault, I'm afraid. I know he needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own, though. I know it! Just falling asleep on his own at night will probably eliminate the 2AM feeding on it's own.
All of my other children took bottles (we would supplement formula so we could go out on dates), took binkies, and slept through the night pretty quick. They all loved solid food and I had no problem introducing it. None of them co-slept. This is all so new to me!

And I have to admit that the reason most of this has happened is because I'm tired. Exhausted, really. I would rather bring #5 into bed with me and nurse him then let him cry it out for a few days. But there's the rub --experience has taught me that if I give myself 3 days of crying, the rest of our lives will be blissful. #4 had a hard time sleeping at night when he was about 8 months old, and when Brandon and I finally Ferberized the guy, he slept fine! Still does, too...

Anyway, I guess my point is that #5 has thrown me for a loop. I'm not sure where to start. Do I teach him to eat food first? Or sleep first? Do I introduce a sippy cup now or later? When should I give him a dang biter biscuit?

Commence The Whining...

And you know, these things wouldn't be so stressful if the kids weren't sick all the time. We just got over the stomach flu, and now #3, #4, and #5 all have croupy-coughs and yucky noses, etc. and oh, yeah! There's the other thing --I can't teach a sick baby to sleep and eat when he's sick, right? Blah. And then #4 has been on this crazy tantrum-whining thing for 2 weeks now. He cries ALL THE TIME. Constantly. Complaining, whining, and driving me insane. I can't figure out if it's a phase, if it's just because he's been sick, or if there's something else I should be looking for. I try to give him personal attention, but that doesn't seem to be working, either.

Then there's a whole butt-load of other stresses in my life that I can't even talk about right now because it's on a "need-to-know" basis, which is fine and good and makes sense to me, but it's hard not to talk about it on paper. Or computers. Or whatever this is.

And then I'm so annoyed with stupid people and stupid politics. I'm tired of having to defend my choices and my love of God and my desire for more children. Plus I'm tired of making decisions that don't seem to have any right answers.

I'm tired of not being able to fix our house and finding things like apple cores, Gogurt wrappers, and cereal on the basement carpet. I'm so very done with explaining to the children that they need to clean up every once-in-a-while. I'm sick of never having enough time to do everything because somebody always wants something immediately. I'm afraid that my grand desires of finally, finally, finally planting a garden this spring won't happen because I'll be too busy keeping a crawling baby out of the dirt.

But I'm especially, especially annoyed that losing weight is so dang hard.

Gimme somethin' good to think about, dear reader. I need some positive feedback today. And probably for the rest of the week.

16 comments:

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

Here's a happy thought: Me, you, Marianne...re-creating our awesome Girls Day Out in SLC, this time for your birthday! Email (or call) me...we MUST make it happen.

Grandma Rozla said...

we had a lesson in Sunday school this morning about the creation and the evidence of God in the creation. Someone said something cool - He said - the creation - all creation is God's signature! Isn't that a cool thought - so go outside or into the room of your sleeping child - whichever one it may be - and see God's signature :)
Hang in there! The sun ALWAYS comes up in the morning - things will get better.

And I totally agree how dang hard it is to loose weight and then to keep it off!

hayngrl101 said...

Really? He won't eat solids at all? And he's not sleeping through the night? I think that this justifies a whining mom. :)

Hang in there. You'll get thru this. Any chance he might have reflux? Sometimes this keeps a baby from sleeping through the night.

You know, if you were feeling REALLY desparate, you could call Provo Early Intervention Program .. They have feeding specialists who can help you get him sleeping through the night and eating solids. And its really cheap if not FREE. :)

In case you're interested: 801-852-4525.

Julie said...

Did I ever tell you that I like you a whole lot?!

Cannon was absolutely HORRIBLE about bottles (and I think solid foods, too?). The only thing that worked (and this only worked because I was ready to wean him) was to starve him until he was so hungry he took whatever was given to him. I think he went something close to 24 hours without food. It was miserable, but it worked. Again, though, it probably only worked because I was ready to wean him.

Sick kids really make life frustrating. I've got them around here, too. Whiny, needy, and sad. Oh, maybe that's all the time? :)

Hang in there.

Never A True Aggie said...

I am SOOOO there with you. Adam is 10 months and the co-sleeping is killing me...but I am not sure what to do either, since I created it and I know it is going to get worse before it gets better. Adam will take a bottle thankfully, but not at night. No, he would rather snuggle up to the boob...all night! I think I get about 4 hours of good sleep. Between switching sides all night and Liam waking up to go to the bathroom...I never rest.

Adam is having trouble with solids too. We waited to six months to start and now I am wondering if I should have. He will only eat a select # of things. He NEVER liked cereal. I have been making my own food and he seems to like it over jarred, but not always. Try some pears. It is pretty gentle and not too sweet. I am with you honey.

earlfam said...

#5 sounds very much like my boys. No binkies, no bottles and wouldn't eat solid food FOREVER (I think my #2 was like 10 months and still having days where he didn't eat any solid food). I wouldn't push the food. Eventually he'll be ready for it, but he's getting everything he needs now. Children truly do not all progress on the same schedule. As for sleeping, I would totally let him cry it out, because you seriously need more and better sleep. REALLY.

And while eating healthy food and exercise are a great idea for losing weight and feeling good right now, you should NOT be going hungry. Depression, sleep deprivation, crazy busy life, other unmentionable stresses....you just can't add being hungry on top of that, it's not good for you or anyone around you. If you're hungry eat. (By that I'm mean if you are HUNGRY eat, not if you think food sounds yummy eat.)

There you go. I don't comment for months and then I show up being all bossy. (I really just love you and I want to help!)

Stephanie said...

I hear you on the co-sleeping/crying it out thing!! I'm just putting up with it right now. Then, when we have a new house in a month or two, and the girls don't have to share a room, #2 totally gets to cry it out as long as it takes. Because, as you know, it is VERY worth it in the end.

Also, you're a good mom. I've seen you with your kids, and they love you. You are doing a very good thing, raising five kids, and it's hard, but I think it will be worth it. Especially when you have dozens of grandkids :)

My advice on the co-sleeping and crying thing is to enlist Brandon's help. He'll sleep a lot better without #5 in the bed, too, and maybe with the two of you tag-teaming your little guy, it might work.

Kim said...

I do remember a stressed out mamma once asking another fabulous knows a lot of great things mamma about her baby that wouldn't eat solids or sleep through the night! You told me to trust your gut! Now it's your turn to listen to your gut!!! You are a great mom! I know this time right now is rough, but I am here to tell you it will get easier! I am sorry all the kiddos are sick again...still! One thing try taking the bananas out of the cereal! Cylie hated them and started eating better once I elminated them!

Oh Yes by the way, I am with Julie, do you know how much I like you? Thanks for letting us in and keeping it real! Good to know someone as fabulous as you has days like mine!

Cardalls said...

I love how real you are! I have so felt like this at various stages of mommyhood. I'll quote you what my Mom always says when I whine to her:

"This too shall pass".

Not all that comforting at the time, but it will and probably pass faster than you think! Hang in there...you are a great Mommy!

Ann said...

I am adamantly opposed to crying-it-out. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but I think it actually harms babies. (There's science to back that up, too.) Try the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution." Much better alternative. :)

Also, with the eating thing, I wouldn't sweat the no-solids thing yet. I know babies who haven't touched solids until they're a year old. It doesn't hurt them. The boob really is all the nutrition they need until they're over a year. Lady didn't eat any solids until she was 9 months, and then it was a really slow start.

As far as the co-sleeping thing, I'm sort of jealous of you. I WISH June would co-sleep, but she wants nothing to do with it. It would be so much easier for me to just bring her into my bed to nurse, but as soon as she's done eating, she wants to be LEFT ALONE....in HER bed. No cuddling or snuggling for her.

June is my first to refuse a binky too, so I feel ya there. Boob is all she wants, and it gets tiring sometimes, but I try to remember that it won't be long before she'll find other things to comfort her and then I'll be sad that she doesn't need me so much anymore.

Sorry about the sick kids. I hope everybody gets feeling better soon. It's always hard to have sick kids. Even the "necessities" have to get pushed aside sometimes and then it seems like everything's just piling up while you're trying to just get everyone back to health.

Sorry you've got so much on your plate right now. Vent, vent away! :)

bythelbs said...

I have no advice.

But as far as positive feedback:

You are an exceptional person and I love you.

That is all.

Recommence whining.

Cheryl said...

Mother-
YES! I will email you. We will do it. :)

Rozla-
Love that thought! I saw His signature today, for sure. Thank you...

hayngrl101-
Nope, no reflux, although that's a good idea. And thank you for the advice! I didn't know there was that kind of intervention program in Provo...

Julie-
Ditto, girl! I like you, too. :)

Never-
Pears! I will try pears. Good idea.

Earlfam-
You are so bossy, you know. ;) And I love it!
I agree. The sleep thing has to be solved. I'm exhausted. And we've never been one for co-sleeping anyway. It's driving me crazy, so I have to change it!

Stephanie-
You are so sweet. Seriously, your comment about my kids loving me made my whole day. Thank you! Oh, and no worries about Brandon --he's awesome when it comes to the teaching/weaning. :)

Kim-
I did say that, didn't I? Okay, I will trust my gut. :) Oh, and the bananas were separate. I think he just hates them because they are too sweet.
Love you, Kim. :)

Cardalls-
It's true! It will pass. In fact, the whining on my part already has past. It is gone. I've moved onto crazy-cleaning-mode.

Ann-
I know. But I'm adamantly for crying-it-out, so... :) Slow start for solids makes sense. I guess I just never had a kid that did this before. New territory!

Bythelbs-
*sniff. You rock, girl.

Amy said...

I thought I'd throw in my opinion as well...
My kids did all of those things.

No binky. I sometimes thought it would be a nice option, but it turned out fine and I didn't need to wean them off it either.
No bottle. Again it would have been a nice option sometimes, but I'm very pro nursing and worry about allergies (which I'm sure you know). There's also one less thing to wean the babe off of. Also, the slow weight loss is probably a good thing when the baby still relies so much on your milk.
Co-sleeping I do as well, but I think every mom needs to figure out what she needs in order to survive. Sleep is the ultimate necessity.
I took our time with solids too. And even then our naturopath thought what I did offer was still too many foods before 1 year of age, and probably contributed to our boy's eczema.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it may be different, but it will all work out...besides you're a pro. One thing you should do though is take some "me" time...another necessity and you deserve it. :)

Kara said...

Amanda still won't take a bottle at all and she is almost 9 months. She took a long time before she wanted solid food as well. I gave her pears and she ate the pears, they are sweeter. She has never wanted plain cereal, she will eat the oatmeal with apples that beech nut makes. Amanda now sleeps with me so over the last 2 years I have never slept without a kid in my bed...I sleep more so I deal with it.

Victoria is 2 1/2 and still won't talk. She would take a bottle but only of pumped milk. She slept with me until about 16 months and then I bought a matress (no box springs) out of need for the crib for Amanda, and she has had very little problem sleeping in it, she struggles going to sleep, she usually falls asleep on the couch with me while I nurse Amanda to sleep.

Both of my youngest liked more bold flavors they have hated bland things, oatmeal and barley cereals, ect... I have not followed any food rules with Amanda so it depends on how stict you want to be, she eats whatever.

My kids are always whining when they are sick and for a while after.

Remember that temperment is part genetics and part environmental, so the fact that he is different may be a different temperment by genetics...my kids are all very different. Kaitlynn has that very high strung personality and doesn't react well to change, very resistant to it actually. Victoria goes with the flow, very laid back easy going very funny. Amanda is my problem solver, I can see her thinking about how things work and figuring out stuff. But she has a temper.

I know how you feel with the cleaning and wishing to do other things, but at least your kids know they can come to you for anything. They obviously love you and you love them.

Weight loss is always hard, I looked up some vitamins that help with thyroid health because that can hinder weight loss, make you fatigued all the time, and make your muscles sore and tired all the time, so look it up and see if you need any of them. I started taking a few vitamins and minerals and my weight is going down slowly but consistant and I don't feel so tired.

This is really long so I am going to stop now!!

Spring is coming, maybe you need to have a garden planting party and have your friends help you...

madhousewife said...

I have no advice, but I'm sending good baby karma so that #5 straightens up and flies right. (So to speak--not literally or anything--don't need a flying baby on your hands on top of everything else--although it would be cool...)

Laura said...

HOLY COW! Cheryl... your #5 is EXACTLY like my #2!!! To the T! She will not take a pacifier... at all.. she starts gagging if I even attempt to put it in her mouth.

She will NOT take a bottle... again, starts to gag if I touch her lips with it. She won't even attempt to suck on it.

She wakes up every 2 or 3 hours at night and the only thing that will get her back to sleep is breast feeding. I feel your pain. We are thinking we are going to let her cry it out... but Scott has his medical boards he's studying for right now, so we are going to wait until after he takes his huge exam... then we'll attempt the "crying it out at night" and see if that helps. I hope it does! I am so tired all the time!

We haven't tried giving her solids yet, but we were going to try rice cereal pretty soon and see how it goes. I'm pretty sure it won't go over well. We'll see.

I hope #5 comes around soon! And if he does, be sure to let me know what you did! :)