Thursday, October 02, 2008

Year of Tens: Pre-Proposal Edition

As you know, dear reader, this has been a Year of Tens for me. Oh, and for Brandon. I guess I should include him because if he hadn't been around, this Year of Tens wouldn't exist, you know. He played the most crucial part! Without him, my marriage wouldn't exist.
Go figure.
This particular Year of Tens Story didn't happen until October 3rd (tomorrow). But I want to share it today. I don't know why. Seriously, there's no reason why. I just want to.
Anyway...
Ten years ago tomorrow (October 3rd), it was General Conference. And a Saturday. We happened to be in Blackfoot that weekend, and not just because we figured we'd visit my family because we had two days "off." Brandon and I had a purpose; him more than me.
After the Priesthood Session, the men returned to the house. My brother got out of the car (I think my other brother was at Ricks. But I could be wrong). However, Brandon and my dad stuck around in the car, in the garage, to...umm...talk. My mother, who had dessert ready and waiting for them, yelled at them to get into the house. Horrified, I whispered, "Mom! Brandon's trying to talk to dad, you know!"
"What?" she said.
I didn't have time to repeat myself as Brandon and my dad walked into the house and obediently ate their dessert.

After dessert, I saw my dad and Brandon walk to my parent's bedroom and shut the door. Within 2 minutes, I heard my mom yell:
"Hey, where are those guys? Don't they want to play games?" (or something like that. I really can't remember exactly what she said. Maybe I should go find my journal...)
This time, I turned on her immediately and whispered fiercely:
"Mom! Brandon and dad are trying to talk. You know, talk?"
She stared at me for a moment and then realization spread across her face. And she smiled.

Brandon reported that the talk went something like this (I reserve the right to be totally wrong, but I know the gist of it is accurate):
Brandon: You probably already know what I'm going to say...
Dad: (smiling) Yes.
Brandon: Well, okay. Ummm...Could I have your blessing and ask Cheryl to marry me?
Dad: (still smiling) Yes!
Brandon: Okay.
Silence
Brandon: Umm...well, do you have any words of advice or anything?
Dad: Not really.
Brandon: Oh.
Silence
Dad: Well, just make sure you do what they counseled about in Priesthood Session tonight. You know, staying out of debt, being smart...
Brandon: Oh, yeah, well...umm...I just had to get a loan to buy a car...
Dad: Not that kind of debt! You need a car; it's good you bought a car.
Brandon: Yeah.
Silence
Dad: Well, take care of her, okay?
Brandon: I will.
(I added that last part. I have no idea if they said it, but it sounds good to me!)

The entire exchange took less than 15 minutes. And if you know my father --at all --than you know what a perfect scenario this was. My dad is awesome.

So, there you have it --Ten Years Ago on October 3rd, 1998, Brandon asked my father for my hand in marriage. This show of respect to the parents is a tradition I hope my children follow as well. Kind of makes the transition into engagement a whole lot easier when you have parental blessing...

Ironically, we'll be spending tomorrow evening at Brandon's mission reunion. For some reason, it seems appropriate to be celebrating this very special date doing something nostalgic that isn't even related to our relationship. At all. And I highly doubt Brandon even remembered what October 3rd means. Yeah...uh...where was I going with this? I can't even remember...

So, dear reader, did your husband ask your parents for your hand in marriage? Or, if you're a man, did you ask your wife's parents for her hand? Did it go well? Did it go badly? Or is it still too painful to talk about?

18 comments:

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

uh oh, you asked. I was in Spain doing Study Abroad, and since Matt and I were already talking marriage plans, my mom arranged for my dad to make a fake trip out to Utah for something so he'd be available to "chat" with Matt. This is the almost word-for-word quote from my dad, "well, Matt, we don't really know you at all, but we trust Stephanie. I just want you to know that if you ever abuse my daughter in any way, I will pursue all disciplinary measures both within and without the church." I don't think Matt got out of bed for a few days after that.

Michelle said...

That's funny. It sounds very typical of Mom and Dad too. Funny thing is, Dan asked Dad right after the priesthood session at our house too. It was October 4, 2003. They went down to the computer room for the exchange though. Dan said Dad was very similar to how he was with Brandon but he did mention abuse and making sure he wouldn't do that to me.

Summer said...

Aw, how cute!

flip flop mama said...

Yes my husband asked my dad and it went pretty much like your story. T-Bone was really scared, but he just asked my dad and he said "sure!" so T-Bone got in his car and drove away. I guess you could say my dad was eager to get rid of me :)

bythelbs said...

Nope. And honestly, I think my dad would have been a little weirded out by it, like "What are you asking me for?"

I think it's a nice tradition, though.

Julie said...

Stanton asked me and then told my dad about 15 minutes later (you know, after the kissing...). I think he already knew he had my dad's permission, though, as my dad had invited him to be in family pictures the day before. And to our week long family reunion before I'd even gotten home from my mission (I was, however, home by the time the reunion rolled around). Yes, I'd say my father had made his wishes rather clear.

madhousewife said...

Haha, bythelbs said what I was going to say. My dad was the first person we announced our engagement to, though. As I recall, he laughed and said, "Neat!"

JustRandi said...

The Brain asked my dad in an incredible awkward conversation over the phone.
Uggg. I cringe to think about it.

But it all turned out ok in the end, I guess.

Cardalls said...

my very traditonally minded husband asked my very old-fashioned father for my hand. It went okay except I think my dad tried to intimidate the crap out of my DH (which almost worked except my sweetheart doesn't intimidate very easily). My dad also told him he was entrusting him with his most prized thing and he'd better take care of me or else....luckily we've never had to find out what or else means because i have a very wonderful husband who takes care of me so well! I like the tradition of asking for the hand in marriage and will encourage my 3 boys to do so.

TaLaisa said...

Yes. After he asked me. He told my Dad, "I'm sorry, I've never done this before. I think I was supposed to ask your permission first. But do I have your blessing to marry your daughter?".

My parents adore him.

Amanda D said...

Cute story! I love that you added to it too. It is perfect.

Bryan proposed to me and we had never discussed marriage. I was so surprised, so I was sure that he hadn't asked my dad. But he had. Just not in person. They couldn't get together so he asked him over the phone.

Great post, C. Happy year of tens!

bythelbs said...

Madhousewife, of course he said "Neat!" It would either have been "Neat!" or "Slick!"

Richelle said...

My hubby called my dad, and let my whole family in on the surprise proposal he was planning. He proposed the Friday before Conference 4 years ago. So conference time always reminds me of that. :)

Rebekah said...

I love your Dad's reaction/conversation with Brandon. And I love how you added the last little part of The talk, :) That's so funny. I don't think I have ever heard of a talk going that smoothly and being so chill between Daddy and future son-in-law! haha!
Apparently my Dad just told Jared that as long as we live the gospel, we had his blessing! Jared wouldn't tell me anything else...
Anyway, fun post.

Leslie said...

Yep...my husband asked my dad and my mom for permission to marry me. I like that my mom was part of the discussion. She told my husband that she usually gave a prospective son-in-law a condition before giving her permission. And asked him what he thought that condition would be for me. He told her that he would have to help me to realize that I am wonderful and that my only weakness was not knowing my own worth. I think that if there had ever been a question (but there hadn't) that sealed the deal for my parents.

Happy 10th anniversary of the day Brandon asked your Dad for permission! :)

Jill said...

It's my anniversary this weekend. Whahoo! 8 years. So, we'll listen to conference and eat steak.

Cheryl said...

Happy Anniversary, Jill! Yay!

I love these stories, guys.

Oh, and mad & bythelbs? Your dad is hilarious. "Neat!" :)

Alison Wonderland said...

Sean didn't ask my folks. I don't know if my father was bothered by that but I know my mom was.
It wasn't that he was opposed to the idea or anything but he'd never even met them and we were in Utah and they were in Va and it just didn't happen.
I do like the tradition though.