Did you know, dear reader, that I can go from perfectly content to Full-On Depression in about 25 minutes? The kind of depression that grips me and won't let go; despair and apathy intermingling in a violent struggle against my desire to just be happy?
Every month, I sense it. I can see the fringes beginning to unravel. This post I published yesterday morning should have warned me; there was no excuse for my anger or accusations (and I apologize for it. Honestly, I am sorry for reacting so quickly in my anger. I know both parties are equally to blame for bad politics, and I know most of the vandalism was probably by idiotic teenagers out for a thrill. So, my apologies, dear reader.), and yet it seemed so rational at the time. By the time yesterday wound down, though, I knew I was a goner. And here I am, now, being all goner-like. Kind of gone, I guess.
I'm trying to combat it with a full schedule the next few days. The kids are out of school for UEA/Fall Break today and tomorrow, so we'll be unpacking the office (yeah, how many times have I said I was gonna start that, eh? Sigh, sigh, sigh...), doing laundry, reading books, watching BYU beat TCU (Go Cougs!), maybe visiting some friends, cleaning the house (which we've already started doing. Hooray!), maybe a date with Brandon (?), and possibly running/walking (emphasis on the walking) in the 5K fundrasier for Nie Nie. If I'm really feeling up to it, I might go to this book party. Oh, yeah. And I have a Neighborhood Newsletter to get done before Tuesday.
But what I really want to do? Besides reading my books and writing my novels?
Sit around and mope.
And Jane Austen.
Maybe I still will. After some of this other stuff is done. Maybe. If I keep focused, though, and concentrate on the laborious tasks at hand, perhaps this month's depression episode will disperse earlier? Maybe it will just glide on through and I won't notice it. Much.