Saturday, December 09, 2006

Offended over something that probably doesn't even matter...

I'm nervous about posting this, because I know family members will read it. But I feel I need to vent a little, and my blog has always been a good place to do it.

DH has a cousin that lives near us. She and I were always fairly close, but not so much now that they have moved about 20 minutes away. It's amazing what 20 minutes can do! Anyway, we've had all of our children around the same time (our oldest kids are 6 weeks apart), and for the most part, we've helped each other out, watching kids, going to the hospital, etc. doing things that family members do when a new baby arrives.

Well, she and I are pregnant again at the same time. Her baby is due this month, but we've been anticipating the birth for a while. I just assumed I'd get a phone call from either her husband, her sister (who lives near her), or our other cousins in the area when the baby came.

So, one day (Thursday), I'm thinking, "hmmm, I wonder if she had her baby?" and so being silly, I just posted something on our family website to ask, rather than call her and bother her with more "are you still pregnant?!?!" questions that ALL pregnant women hate to hear so close to birth (as if we need to be reminded!!). Well, the next day, my SIL, who lives 2 states away, posts not only the information of the birth that occurred on MONDAY, but pictures that were sent to her as well via email.

Now, I don't expect to be the first person on the list. I don't even expect a phone call the first day or two. But FIVE days? And nothing? Still nothing. I didn't reply to the information because I was afraid I would come off as a jerk. And I probably do. But my feelings were deeply hurt (still are). I mean, not only are we family, but we live so close! I was looking forward to taking a gift or flowers to her in the hospital, etc. but now I'm completely deflated. And I don't have time to drive out to their home --we're leaving Monday morning for California and Christmas HAS to be done before then --and so now I just don't know how to feel or react.

Am I just being silly? I mean, this is a birth of a brand new baby. Another cousin. Another family member, and I just feel like I wasn't important enough to tell. Part of me thinks maybe I'll just conveniently leave her off the list when our baby comes, but honestly, I have a feeling she'd react the same way I am.

I know I'll get over it in time, but man, this just sucks.

How would you react? How would you feel? Am I just totally off right now?

12 comments:

kanga5 said...

My thoughts are- unless you have a cousin that goes from love to hate easily or is easily offended, I'd say that somebody just dropped the ball. Someone was supposed to call but didn't. The e-mail didn't get sent. Hopefully it's all just a big mistake. Call her if you can and say congratulations. It will make you feel better. I hope it turns out ok!

Cheryl said...

Oh, you are probably right. I guess I'm just confused because I wrote that post on the family website, yet nobody has called or emailed or even posted on the website (nobody meaning my cousin or her husband or her sister, etc.) that I should have known about it. That makes me think it was slightly intentional. Or that I'm just easily forgotten...which wouldn't be too far-fetched, really. I just hate being forgotten. It happens too much in my life...(okay, sorry, pity party for me over now..). :)

Anyway, you are totally right. I should just swallow my wounded pride and give her a call. Thanks for the advice --it's awesome to hear another perspective (and yours, I believe, is right on)...

kanga5 said...

I hope it turns out happy for you. It really is NOT happy when you are forgotten- for any reason.

tamrobot said...

I felt kind of weird posting the info and pictures on the website if it makes you feel any better. I somehow got on Jay's email distribution list. I get like 5 forwards a day - every day I really wish I was off his list, but was pleasantly surprised whatever day I got that email with the new baby info.

Grandma M said she hadn't even seen pics and she didn't even mention the baby's name so I figured I should post as much info as I had. I don't think becky or sarah or any of the welsh family has been on the website, because I thought that was weird that they hadn't said anything either. I really don't think any of them have logged on since it was posted.

So in conclusion, I really think they were probably just super busy.
Sorry if I made you feel bad by posting the info. I think its the first time I've ever had family info before most of the family - it seriously felt really weird. I'm usually always the last to hear anything in the family!

tamrobot said...

and you and Brandon never called me when you guys had any of your kids. I was always the last to find out. jerk.

j/k.. well not kidding really, I am usually the last to find out, but don't worry I'm never offended and I don't think youre a jerk. I usually find out anything family oriented from my Dad. He's usually always in the loop somehow.

Cheryl said...

Tam-
Hey, try not to use B's name in the future when you post here --I try to keep things anon.

Oh, Tam, now I feel better and worse all at the same time. You're right. I never considered that it wasn't only ME that was not hearing anything. It just sucks because we're the only family within driving distance...Oh, well.

Oh, and hey, I'm moving you to the top of our list! I'm not sure why we don't just call you personally...we never have? I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen again! (Who likes to find things out from your dad?! Not me!)

brenbot said...

ha! t-bot sucks at blogging.

Cheryl said...

Okay, okay. Bren AND Tam will be at the top of the list... :)

tamrobot said...

i'm annoyed that I am the worst at keeping things anonymous. HAha, how many real names did I use? I'm going to try to delete posts. If I can't, can you please remove...

brenbot said...

i count 5.

tamrobot said...

yeah, I commented the first two posts with a blogger account and now I am beta-blogger, so I can't delete the old comments.

Cheryl, please remove them so i'm not annoyed and reminded of my lameness.

Cheryl said...

Hey, no big deal. I'm the one who tries to keep them anon --but nobody reads my blog that doesn't really know me (give or take a few --like kanga5!!). So, it's cool. Don't worry about it. DH (a.k.a. your brother--haha!) thinks this post is hilarious, so I'm keeping it... :)