Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Hating blogging today

I hate the whole blogging thing now.

If you are completely honest with yourself and with the people you blog with, then there will be major trouble. I thought, seriously! that by blogging I would not be able to insult or hurt people because we can't see each other --we can't judge each other. But I was wrong.

Please see: and go to the one "The Friend goes Freaky".

What sucks is that carrie and todd are my aunt and uncle. By marriage. And what's worse is that they are 10 billion times smarter than me. And better looking. And geniunally nicer. Oh, and successful. Hmmm..for a comparison, they are diamonds and I'm cubic zirconium. Is that how you spell zirconium?

Anyways, I think I hate blogging now. Because that was something I wanted to avoid. I hate confrontation. And it really wasn't that big of a confronatation! Yet I'm here! Crying! Typing this blog and wondering what my problem is that I could get so upset over something so silly! I guess it's worse because they are family --but they are IN-LAW family. The worst kind. The kind that don't have to love you. The kind that are forced to try to like you.

I hate people hating me. Or lecturing me. Or telling me I'm wrong. What I hate even more is finding out that I hurt someone. Especially if I didn't mean to.

~sigh~ I'll get over it. I'll be back to making comments again. But I'll sure think twice before I make a comment that actually DISAGREES with the post. So much pressure!!


Todd L. said...


You are going to have to work a lot harder than your comments on TFTC if you want to insult or hurt either me or Carrie!! Surely you know us that well by now. Seriously, nothing you said hurt us. There was no trouble, let alone major trouble, from our end of things.

I am sorry if my post on TFTC made you that upset. Really, it wasn't intended. I appreciate when people express their disagreement with the post. If it weren't for people like you commenting, then the blogernacle would not be very interesting. But since I disagreed with your comment, I thought I should also be able to express that disagreement. I take it that blogs are a form of dialogue - someone posts, someone else says why the post is wrong and gives reasons supporting the opposite view, and someone else comes back and argues why the reasons given for the opposite view aren't convincing, and on and on it goes. None of that is meant to be confrontational, but it is a two-way street. As you disagree with me, I disagree with you. (And I freely admit to being a rather disagreeable person in most ways).

I also think you just read my comment wrong (a testament to my poor writing). When I pointed out that you were willing to criticize the decisions of other parents, even if those parents were trying to be guided by the spirit in raising their children, the broader point I was trying to make was this - simply saying that someone seeks the spirit does not insulate their work from objective criticism. If you feel free to express your disagreement with me (and you SHOULD feel free to do so), then there is no reason that you should not also feel free to disagree with the Friend. I was asking you to be willing to disagree MORE, not less. You might actually agree with the Friend, but the reason you said the post made you the most uncomfortable was that people were criticizing decisions that were prayed over. I was simply trying to point out that, to me, the Friend is not insulated from our critiques even though I believe a lot of what goes into that magazine is inspired.

The irony of this whole thing is that your comment about the earrings very well could have come from me. If that were the primary topic of discussion, then I suspect we would be on the same side. Yes, my daughters have their ears pierced, but they wouldn't if I had my way (as usual, husbands and fathers don't get much say in these types of things since we are not home with the kids all that often). I don't think there is anything morally wrong with a two-year old having pierced ears, but I think it is nice for pre-teen girls to have certain "rights of passage" into womanhood - makeup and earrings being a couple of those. So, nothing you could say in that regard could possibly insult me, though come to think of it, regarding me as so easily insulted is sort of insulting in itself. : )

And, by the way . . . I don't think "in-law family" are the worst kind. I think all my in-laws are some of the best kind of family.

Cheryl said...

You are so awesome. Thanks so much for thinking about me. I talked with Carrie on the phone (which I'm sure you know by now) and we resolved everything. But what you wrote above was wonderful.

I have this problem --that many of my family members can attest to --of "freaking out". And since I'm so new to this blogging thing, I forget that you can't assume what the other person is feeling or how they are reacting based solely on what they are saying. Carrie helped explain that to me very well.

However, now that all this overreacting is said and done, I'm feeling quite sheepish...embarrassed, really. ~sigh~ Oh, well! I've learned a lot and the best thing I've learned is that Uncle Todd and Aunt Carrie love silly Cheryl. :)