I feel alone. And lost.
What irks me the most is the confidence I no longer have. When I reach out in confidence to define who I am, I get slammed down.
It used to be easy for a conservative, traditional, hard-working Mormon housewife like myself to express herself without danger of being labeled a bigot or a traitor.
Now I'm the bad guy. I'm wrong for standing up for Christianity, truth, doctrine and my God. If I stood up for gay rights, liberal thinking, and sexual sin, then I would be praised. But by standing up for that truth, doctrine, and God I'm called "JUDGEMENTAL" and "PREJUDICED".
My friend commented to me last night: "It's interesting how Brokeback Mountain will win all of these Oscars, but the Chronicles of Narnia is all wrong and evil because it promotes Christianity. It's like what it says in the Book of Mormon where people will call evil good and good evil." She really got me thinking.
Why am I evil now? Because I stand up for truth and somehow that hurt somebody's feelings and so I'm the one that has to repent.
I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of being afraid of who I am. I hate this filth-infested, sexually perverted world for making me and others like me feel like trash because we aren't "with it" and we adhere to our "outdated" religious guidelines.
I'm sick of feeling alone in my crusade of being a moral woman.