Friday, November 30, 2012

My Christmas Present! (Among Other Things)

Honestly, I'm shocked at how many people misunderstood my last post. My apologies if I offended you, dear reader. My intent was to educate, not judge. I'm sorry. 

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I'm part of a great forum (LDS women with 6+ children) and last night six of us were able to get together (three babies, too!). It was wonderful! We missed all of those who couldn't make it.

I haven't been a part of the forum for very long, but it has been a life-saver for me. I think we all gravitate to those who share similar struggles or interests, and these women definitely share both with me. Each has a unique story as to why they have chosen to mother many children, but each share a deep faith about why and how they do. It's validating and comforting, to say the least.

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It came! My Christmas present! And here are the photos as promised. It took me a total of five hours to put these babies together (with help from the kids). We're decorating for Christmas tomorrow, so it will be festive, and the big kids are at school, so we're missing at least 3 backpacks and coats, but you get the gist --our mudroom in our living room. Or, as I like to call it, "making our space work." No more tripping over backpacks and overflowing bins of shoes. Huzzah!

  


Here's the before picture, so you'll know what used to be in this space:



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Joy = a weekend in San Francisco with my hubby (and baby, too). Why? Brandon has to work in SF all next week, and we decided I should join him for a few days afterward. I'm so excited. Not only is SF my favorite city, but having a weekend with hubby is always my favorite thing to do! Thank you to my parents in advance for taking the big kids. It means so much!

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Cloudy skies. Hm. Not sure if I'm ready for the darkness of winter. However, I have my sunshine lamp (thanks to Brandon), so, I should be okay.

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Tomorrow's agenda: decorate for Christmas and lots of cleaning! Oh, and laundry. But laundry is always on the agenda. Blerg.

10 comments:

Julie P said...

Beautiful and functional! Love it.

Lizzie said...

Those hall trees (is that what they're called? I have one, I guess I should know, but I don't...) are seriously gorgeous. The wood is spectacular. Really heightens the room. Can I be a little jealous? :)

Becca said...

Aw, yay! I love it! I always like getting new furniture ;)

Amanda D said...

They look great!

danette said...

I am so crazy but, If a mother wanted six plus kids but isn't able to or is trying and it just isn't happening would she still be able to join.


For instance I have 5 kids and am trying for my sixth been trying now for over a year. However if miscarriages count I have been pregnant 9 times.

Just wondering because it would make me feel bad if I couldn't.

I will be quiet now.

Cheryl said...

Danette, I'm not sure what to say. I'm really sorry for all of your miscarriages --I've had one, so I know a little bit of how hard it can be. But I find myself in a difficult place now: If I say "no, you cannot join," then I'm suddenly a jerk because you said not being able to would make you feel bad. And really, Danette, that's not really fair. But if I say "yes, you can join" in order to make you feel better, I might be lying, because it's not my place to pick and choose who joins --everyone who is in the forum has been invited by someone who knows them personally (usually in person) because the forum is on Facebook. Since I don't know you in real life (and hardly at all online), I would feel awkward adding you. Trust me when I say it's not because you aren't trying to have more kids, that's not the issue. It's that I don't know you.

danette said...

Cheryl, I don't need/want to join, I was just wondering if someone was like that.

Like you said we don't know each other and it would be weird.

Also I assume which is not good that I am to different to feel comfortable around these moms with big families.

Honestly I do not feel comfortable around someone who has had a homebirth. I feel like I have failed or am not brave enough. Which is weird because I do not want one and I LOVE hospital births. I guess on line I feel like people judge to much those who choose to have a hospital birth. That we do not trust our bodies enough and that they are more spiritual births. Plus other stuff. I am assume you feel that people who choose hospital births say and judge you and I agree. I see it both ways. Both sides are mean and judge each other.

Sorry if I made you feel like I was asking to be in the group. I was just curious. I should have said if someone you know well...So sorry.

I do need to ask for your forgiveness though. I have been judging you to much or having negative feelings about you. I don't know why exactly I think I am just jealous and envious. I like I said I have been trying for my sixth for a year. I learned a lot at church today. Our relief society lesson was on forgiveness and you came to mind. That I need to ask for your forgiveness.

I guess I can see that we are a like in some ways and it makes me wonder why you can have a baby and I can't. I keep telling myself it is because I can't keep a clean house. I suffer some depression. Some days my patience is not there.

Yet my soul has a yearning for another child.

So I am sorry.



Cheryl said...

Danette, of course I forgive you. I think it's really easy to become envious or jealous of people we see online because they are usually showing the best side of themselves, and we end up comparing our worst side to their best. It's hard to know what's going on behind closed doors. For example, I just took the time to go read some of your blog, and I'm really grateful I did. I saw that you are incredibly creative, you have a beautiful family, and you had brain surgery. I cannot even BEGIN to imagine how hard that must have been! Cancer??

Please accept my apology for being rude to you.

I think we all need to stop assuming things about each other. I'm guilty of this in the worst way, though. I tend to give into my knee-jerk reactions and pass judgements on people. It's one of my biggest challenges to stop myself, turn it around, and always assume the best. I'm working on it, though.

And no worries about the forum thing. Perhaps one day soon we WILL know each other in real life, and then it will be a moot thing, eh?

I will pray that you will have the desire of your heart and be able to have another baby. I don't know why that hasn't happened for you, yet (because my house sure ain't clean, and you know I have depression, too), but I do know this: Heavenly Father knows you (and me) and He knows what's best for us. He loves you. Keep Him close to your heart, and I'm sure everything will work out.

<3

danette said...

Cheryl,

Yes I had a brain tumor, but thank goodness it was not cancer.

I saw you like a place in Provo. I live in South Utah County.

I am not asking for the exact location but I am guessing you live in Utah county.

If you want maybe we can be come friend first on facebook. I am Danette Tolman Ottosen.

I know you do not like to say your last name so if you want you can go to mine and we can become friends.

No pressure.

Danette

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

So Cheryl, I've been looking for a solution to our own "making our space work" problem...and yours look amazing! Could you send me some details as to price, size, etc? Thanks gal. :)