Wow, okay! Nobody who reads my blog has been on a first date. Dear reader, how is that possible? I thought that at least ONE of you 22 people (and the other 50+ who are reading me on google reader) would have at least shared something. Most of you went on a first date with your spouse, right? Yes, this is me trying to guilt you people into sharing your stories on my previous post. I mean, come on! Share some stories! While you do that, I'll type up some random drivel.
Well, the new baby high has worn off. Acne has returned, along with shedding hair. Seriously, if it keeps up, I will be bald by August. I lost 5 pounds, though! After gaining 10. Hmph.
I grew up on the cusp of the entitlement generation (aptly named by MMM) and I wonder if I got some of it in my veins. I keep returning to my list of "things that would make my life so much easier and better and happier and I would simply be overwhelmed by all the happiness because it would rock so much" --and you know what? It feels selfish. So, my life isn't perfect. Who has a perfect life? Sure, I can check off a list a mile long of the things I need to improve, but who doesn't have the same list? If I didn't have these trials, I'd have different ones.
I think my therapist dropped me. She was supposed to get back to me about a new time/place for our sessions, and she hasn't. For 5 weeks. Since we meet monthly, I didn't think anything of it until just the other day. And I'm still trying to decide if I should go back. Therapy is good --I highly recommend it. But it's also expensive. But it helped me. But there wasn't much left to talk about.
Speaking of expenses, did you know that 30 pills of Singulair cost $500 if you're not insured? That's why I stopped taking it. And I've been okay, breathing wise. Allergies, too. I'd like to claim it was the local raw honey, and so I do.
I get up a lot in the night to feed and rock my baby. The me of years past would be practically angry and frustrated over it, but the me of now is actually not that upset. Sure, I'm tired (exhausted, zombie-ish), and I'm certainly not a fan of sleep deprivation, but you know what? I'm loving his cuddles. I love his sweet hand on my breast as I nurse him and I love his warm breath on my cheek as I rock him. He doesn't scream all night, nor does he stay up --he goes right back to sleep after nursing or rocking --and I consider this a huge blessing. I feel as if I'm experiencing something for the last time, and I'm taking the opportunity to enjoy every moment. Since I'm no stranger to babies, I realize that all too soon, this will pass. These moments will be gone and I'll be wondering where my baby went. So, I'm okay with it. I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
And speaking of enjoying, I'm really NOT enjoying my oldest daughter being gone! She gets back from camp tomorrow and I cannot wait. I rely on her for a lot of things, but more than that, I just miss hearing her voice and having her around. And I've been pretty good at making sure #2 does a lot of the same things #1 does (cooking, cleaning, helping with baby) --#3 even has to help mom! But #1 is just so GOOD at it, with her being older and all (duh).
I need to plant my garden. Is it too late to plant tomatoes and zucchini?