Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Blerg

(I hate the new Blogger. Just sayin'.)
Here are my problems (besides blogger):
*Nursing makes me hungry. Starving. I eat too much. I try to write it all down in my awesome My Fitness Pal app, but then I forget and I keep eating and then I try to track and... Plus, I'm having a hard time getting back into the groove of cooking for a family of 8 (well, 7. The baby is really picky and only likes my milk). This means what we DO eat is not very nutritious because of all the bad habits I acquired whilst-a-preggers (such as never cooking because I was too tired/sick and eating junk I knew I shouldn't eat but doing it anyway because I was pregnant, people!). This all equates to what? Weight gain. Not weight loss. And considering I have a good 35 pounds to lose, I'm pretty discouraged and disappointed in the whole situation. I'm trying really hard to be positive, to focus on the good stuff (i.e. My body had a baby, I'm busy with kids, I'm lucky I can breastfeed, there are worse things in life, etc. blah, blah, blah) but it's difficult. Especially since I can't really afford to buy new clothing for myself and I have loads of clothing in my pre-gained-35-pounds size. Desire? To wear them. Am I exercising? Yes. As much as I should? Probably not. But I'm still getting up every night consistantly at 2:30AM and 5:30AM to nurse the baby. I'm tired. Which, one would think, could again give me the justification for not worrying about my weight. But I don't WANT to be unhealthy, and the weight equates unhealthy. YES. IT. DOES. Don't try to tell me it doesn't. Because I'm not an idiot --I know what it's like to be a healthy weight (and if I was going to follow the BMI chart, then I would need to lose 50 pounds. But I'm realistic. I will never be that skinny --I don't want to be!) and I know that being overweight causes more health problems.
*Small children make it nearly impossible to accomplish anything more than keeping them alive all day. But I knew this. I know this. Why is this a problem? I guess it's not. It's just life.
*Organization. See above about small children.
*Trying not to panic in the face of financial adversity.
But this is what I'm LOVING lately:
*The weather
*The 2 year old's facial expressions
*One month of school left!
Well, I'm off to try to do something today. Maybe I'll even get dressed! Wouldn't that be awesome!?

3 comments:

Maren said...

As experienced as you are, Cheryl, I'm sure you know that you need about 200 additional calories/day when you're nursing. And you are lucky that you're able to nurse. Being able to nurse was extremely important to me, but I was never able to establish a milk supply no matter what I did. You know, I was working with a weight loss coach before I got pregnant and he kicked me off the program when I was pregnant and told me not to come back until AFTER I was done nursing. Trying to lose weight while you're pregnant or nursing is not the best idea. Eating healthy and getting enough exercise (but not too much - too much exercise can turn your milk to alcohol) and SLEEP are of course the best things to do. I'm working toward the same goals - being able to accomplish more than just keeping ONE baby boy alive all day, trying to cook and eat healthy meals, trying to get some kind of exercise in, all in an attempt to lose weight and hopefully be able to have more kids. I keep thinking I need to learn some of those exercises you can do with a baby (i.e. using your baby as the weight you're lifting). Right now, the only exercise that works for me is putting him in the stroller and taking a walk around the neighborhood. When he was little tiny I wore him in my Moby wrap during walks. Maybe you could walk to school to pick up the older kids and all walk home together? Then you'd be getting exercise AND enjoying the weather AND getting something (picking up your kids from school) done. Just a thought. But it's definitely a challenge, and I admire that you can do it with 6 kids. Wow. Best to you and Brandon!

flip flop mama said...

Your friend Maren is right...don't be too hard on yourself! You need to be healthy while you are nursing your baby, not necessarily skinnier. And by healthy I mean putting good food that your body can convert to energy. Ashely is almost 4 months and at 3 months I was just barely able to get in some basic exercise like walking Rachel to school a two times a week (1 mile round trip). It kicked my butt for a couple weeks, but then I got to feeling a little better and a month later, I am walking up there once a day (plus some other stuff). Don't expect to be able to jump right in to your pre-pregnancy exercise routine right away. Your body needs time to adjust! If you're tired listen to your body.

btw, I tried the Fitness Pal app, but recording all the food I ate was annoying and tedious. It seems more geared toward people who eat out a lot. There was hardly anything for homemade meals so I gave up. :(

Good luck!

Kim Keele said...

I am right there with you on the eating thing....I'm pigging out like a maniac! Breastfeeding makes me a bottomless pit! Hoping it levels out eventually. I remember it does after several months postpartum, maybe? If you figure something out clue me in! And give yourself a break, you are one busy and amazing woman!