I'm also losing faith in my ability to run a household. I'm tired of the whining, the crying, the fighting, the rude remarks. I have no energy to finish tasks and if I do, the minute they get done, they get messed up again.
People will think that my house is normal: "Oh, Cheryl, everybody has a messier house than they want" but those people do NOT understand. This isn't just a messy house. This is a house I've lost all control over and is need of some MAJOR overhauling and organization. But my hands are tied. Brandon and I don't see eye to eye on how to do it, so nothing gets done. I'm stuck with mass chaos and no energy to alleviate the mass chaos.
That's not all, dear reader. The other day at a Ward thing I realized why (even though I really love this neighborhood) the women my age don't invite me to things. And although it made me sad, I decided I was done caring. You can't make people like you if they don't, you know.
On the bright side, therapy is going well. I'm getting to the core of my issues and it's actually surprising me what they are-- I had no idea, for example, how one issue has been bothering me for 13 years. But it was very eye opening!
Other good news: Our new neighbors! The house next to us went up for rent, and that is always nerve wracking. You never know what you'll get with a rental. But the family that moved in is fantastic! They are a wonderful LDS family with 7 children. Seven! Ages 3 to 16. The parents are simply fantastic and I'm thrilled they moved in! Friends for my kids and a possible friend for me. Huzzah!
Well, I better get back to the grind. This chaos will not resolve itself. Unfortunately.