Monday, December 20, 2010

Pet Peeves: Christmas Edition. Sort of.

Pet Peeves:
*Newly pregnant women who (like I used to) use the word "fat" to describe their current state. As if they didn't realize another HUMAN BEING GROWING INSIDE OF THEIR BODY wasn't going to cause some changes.
*People who don't use their turn signals.
*Being able to play flawlessly in every single choir rehearsal, but when the big Christmas performance comes, making massive mistakes and feeling foolish.
*Children who still have not learned to flush toilets.
*Coldness. Cold. Cold air. Cold snow. Cold rain. Cold wind. COLD. NESS.
*Realizing that, even after three months from the start of my prep time, I am still NOT DONE with Christmas stuff.
*Parents who take their children home during church for "nap time" or "feeding time" or "it's too hard to deal with these children in church and so instead of toughing it out to show them that church is truly a good place to be and they better get used to it unless they are puking their guts out because the role of parents is to teach by example, I will bail and just take them home."
*Parents of the above who think I don't get it. As if I've never wanted to take them home. As if I've never gone to church alone with FIVE CHILDREN. Or wandered the halls with unruly kids. Or had to fulfill callings with toddlers in tow. Who do they think I am!?!?
*Puke. Stomach-flu puke.
*Laundry (as if I had to list it).

I promise to have more positive posts before Christmas. But in the meantime, what are your pet peeves?


Mother of the Wild Boys said...

Amen to your list, and don't forget:

People who work in customer service positions but forget that it's all about SERVICE.
People who take advantage of the customer service employees who do care.

Cardalls said...

Agreed on the parents who take their kids home and complain its just too hard. Give me a break...parenting isnt supposed to be easy and neither is membership in the true church! Our church is at 1 next year....hmmmph.

Insurance companies who DENY, DENY, DENY necessary medications, formula, RSV vaccines and surgeries for my baby! GRRRR.

Judi said...

i didn't hear any mistakes when you played! i thought it was all marvelous! and what a wonderful spirit that was there yesterday.

and amen to mother of the wild boys. i work is customer service for an airline company..and i am one of those who care too much..however, i don't let people take advantage of me! i've learned..:)

i suppose what i dislike most of all is when i judge others without knowing their situation..i am quick to make comments or have thoughts but not think about why things are the way they are. people don't know what goes on behind my front i guess i should give them the same courtesy.

FoxyJ said...

Snow that falls all day when I'm supposed to be running errands :)

A leaking roof four days before Christmas

I'm not feeling very grouchy today I guess because I can't think of more right now. If I think of some I'll post them on my blog.

I've been really debating about the leaving kids home thing. We're switching to 1 in January and my baby is almost a year old. My husband doesn't attend church so I could leave her home with him. Right now I take her to church with me, but it's kind of a long morning without a nap for her. I play the piano in Relief Society and she's usually fried by then. I have lovely women in my ward who love to play with her; yesterday I didn't even get her back the whole hour. But, for me, three hours is a long time for a baby to go without a nap and I'm afraid it might be worse in the afternoon. It can be a tough call. I do make sure my older kids now that church is not an option and I've never taken them home because of misbehavior. Once my daughter starts nursery next year I'll probably bring her, but right now I'm leaning towards leaving her home with dad.

Stephanie said...

Croup, especially when it means missing the very special Christmas party with great-grandpa.

For all you mothers who have had a child with croup, I'm sorry I never understood your pain before.

Ann said...

Oh Cheryl, I'm going to have to totally disagree with you on the taking-kids-home-for-naps thing. I'm not teaching my 1 year old that church is optional. They're not old enough to understand something like that anyway. Brent or I have taken June home several times this year for a nap. We all go to Sacrament meeting together and then, depending on her situation (when she woke up that morning, how fussy she's been, etc.) one of us will often take her home during Sunday School or RS/Priesthood.

Sacrament Meeting usually isn't optional unless someone's sick. But while I'm the parent of young children, they come first. So if I have to miss RS every now and then, I will.

I don't think enough parents realize how crucial sleep is for a growing baby. You know what one of my pet peeves is? Parents who think naptime is optional. I hate when I see a child who, day after day, is carted from place to place, never given the chance to have a good, solid nap. The only nap they might get is in the car or in a stroller for a few minutes here and there. And then the parents are surprised and get mad when their baby is ornery.

I protect my kids' naps fiercely, that includes during church. Because I know that in the end, we'll all be happier if they get a nap. And I know that God understands and knows that I'm doing what I feel is best for my family, even if that means I have to read the lesson on my own more often.

And just so everyone here knows, I'm not referring to Cheryl in my pet peeve paragraph above. I love Cheryl. :) I'm referring to someone else in my life who drives me crazy with their flakiness with regards to their children's naps.

Ah, that felt good to get off my chest. :)

And FoxyJ, if it were me, I'd totally leave the baby home with Daddy and not feel guilty for a minute. ;)

Cardalls said...

Ann..I am with you on the kids need regular naps! I am a big advocate of kids being on a regular schedule and getting their naps!

My pet peeve with people taking their kids home on Sunday is that it becomes an excuse for the parents to leave and take a nap as well. It gives them an "out" for is in the best interest of the parents not the child. We have a family that their kids never have regular naps during the week, but on Sundays their nap is promptly at the time sacrament meeting ends no matter what time church is and the whole family goes home and leaves the primary class they are supposed to teach hanging. That is my pet peeve!

Julie P said...

Did you know I take Ainsley home for her naps after we sit in Sacrament meeting as a family?

To us, it's not that the full 3 hour block (from 11-2, which I think is evil, but that's another post) is hard, it's that skipping her nap (because she won't sleep if her nap is more than 1-2 hours late) makes the entire day, night and usually the next day miserable, as well. And nope, 36 hours of difficult behavior, crying and screaming isn't worth teaching my little girl a lesson about how critically important church attendance is to our spiritual growth, especially when we think she'll learn it just fine when she's out of this stage. My boys did! (or at least, it seems like they have) :)

If it were just the 3 hours that were hard we'd suck it up, no question, but it's not - it messes up our whole family for a good 24+ hours.

We have been called "nap nazis" - a term I hate but gives you an idea how strict we are about naps because we think they're so critical to a childs health and behavior and development. We don't ditch only church or use this as a cute excuse to leave early - we reschedule anything, any day that cuts heavily into our critical hours of naps.

Boy, I love these littles, but it will be so wonderful when we don't have to plan around nap times anymore! It will be extra nice when church moves to 9 am in January and we can all stay the 3 hour block together again.

I hope you can ditch the pukes at your house before Christmas!

Julie P said...

I was totally worried about replying and hurting your feelings by saying "hey, now - don't be so harsh on those of us who refuse to skip naps". Then I read the comments and see I just should've said "AMEN" to Ann.

To take it one step further, you might be shocked to hear that Nathan and I had a meeting with our Bishop when we were moved into this ward last August where we told him we would do our best to fill any calling we were asked to fill, but would ask him to prayerfully consider giving us callings alternate hours or days (one person 2nd hour and one person 3rd hour, or something like Cub Scouts or Activity Days that is not on Sundays) because of our belief in our childrens naps being critical to their health and well being. Sounds pretty extreme, doesn't it? But we had prayed about it first and felt 100% fine about talking to him about this as long as we put our first preface in there (where we would do our best to fill any calling, but...)

Anyway, Nathan has a 2nd hour calling and I have a 3rd hour calling. So it works out great in that we take turns running home to the sleeper.

It made me super happy to hear in the new handbook that Bishops are counseled to take into better consideration family situations when extending callings. To me that doesn't just mean a dad who travels 75% and can't guarantee attendance at week night activities (as Nathan once was) but families with small children in our situation as well.

flip flop mama said...

I totally get the nap nazi thing. I am totally one of those for my kid's sake. We don't miss naps. I've missed out on many a fun activity because of a sleeping baby/toddler. BUT all you lovely ladies in Utah have it pretty dang easy. We have to drive miles to go to church and don't have the luxury of just skipping on home so a kid can nap. We make it work. And I'm really not trying to be judgmental, I'm just trying to put some perspective on the situation. My first born was a BEAR for a day and a half after Sundays--much like Julie P's daughter--but we had to drive 20 minutes to our building at that time and church would have been over by the time we got her home settled and drove back to church. I hated it. But that's what we did. That's all I'm gonna say about that....

Cheryl said...

Oh, you people! I was mostly referring to parents who say "Why should I stick around here if I'm just wandering the halls?" and go home. My thought: Yeah, why are you wandering the halls? Maybe we should prep a little better... (oh, no she didn't!)

That being said, Brandon and I have, from the very beginning, with all of our children, taught them to sleep ANYWHERE (except #5, who would, actually, sleep anywhere except his CRIB. Which drove us nuts for almost a year, and I'm so grateful that is all over). Our kids will sleep in cars, in Church, in our arms, on my back, on couches, on beds, on the floor, etc. Literally, anywhere.

#5, who is nearly 17 months old, still needs a good, solid 1 1/2 hour nap each day. During Sacrament Meeting (1PM), he usually sleeps in Brandon's arms (or mine, if Brandon is gone). Most times, he'll sleep through Sac. Mtng. and Sunday School. Sometimes, he'll sleep for all three hours.

See, we don't skip naps, either. Our kids just happen to sleep wherever they happen to be. They don't need a dark room, or to be nursed/fed/sung to sleep. They don't need white noise or that special blanket (although #4 prefers his).

For Example!
Today, I had to be in #1's classroom for their Christmas party. Being the amazingly responsible mother that I am, I forgot to get a sitter for #4 and #5. The party was from Noon until 1:30PM --pretty much during all of #5's regular nap time. Did I pause and panic? Nope! I took him and he slept on my back in the Beco for the entire party.

I know every kid is different. Heck! All of my kids are different in personality, health needs, quirks, desires, wants/needs, etc. but I still have managed to teach them all to sleep wherever and whenever they need it. Is that wrong? Right? I have no flippin' idea. I just know it works for us.

What does this say for Ann, Julie, Foxy, etc? NOTHING. I don't care if you guys take your kids home to nap. I don't care if you turn down callings, skip church for years, or whatever. You do what's right for you. Of course an infant's testimony won't be threatened over staying home to sleep. Neither will the parent's (duh). But this is the exception to the rule --and too many parents now-a-days, in the name of "helping the child!" are making excuses to leave church. I say, "Dude! If you don't wanna be in Church, then don't be in Church. Stop using your kid/s as your excuse" (which is what Cardalls was referring to).

So, it's all good. I'm not trying to tell you people how to raise your kids or do your church service. That's none of my business. We all do what we gotta do.

Ann said...

flip flop mama, I totally feel for you. When we lived in MI, our church building was about 20 mins away from our house as well. There wasn't the option of running home to put the baby down. If one of us left, we all left. Luckily, though, in that ward we always met at 9am. We shared the building with a singles ward that didn't want to have that time slot, so they came at 1. (It wasn't a big enough building for 2 wards at a time to meet there.)

And Cheryl, I would LOVE it if my kids slept anywhere. I tried. Believe me, I tried. All my attempts were futile. None of them have ever been good sleepers in the car or stroller or anything. The closest I got was with #4, who would sleep on me in the wrap until she was about 9 or 10 months. Then she just wanted her bed and nothing else would do. So like you said, every kid is different. Mine are not "sleep anywhere" kids. BUT, BUT, BUT, they take naps a lot longer than yours tend to, I think. #1 was still taking naps in Kindergarten, #2 and #3 quit at 4 years old, and #4 is 3 1/2 and is still taking a nap every afternoon. So I guess it all evens out. Can't have my cake and eat it too, darn it. ;)

FoxyJ said...

My second was great at sleeping anywhere, and it was great because that was when I did live about 20 minutes away from the chuch and had a later church time. It generally worked out well. Then he quit napping at 2 years old. Yuck.

My current baby is already not such a great napper and will not nap anywhere except in her bed or sometimes in the Ergo. We can't even get her to sleep in the car any more. However, she sleeps about 13 hours at night and has for months. How that happened is a mystery to me.

And I'll admit that sometimes I leave my baby at home with my husband because I've actually had people imply that I'm being some kind of martyr for bringing her to church with me, especially since she doesn't nurse anymore. Just goes to show that you can't ever make everyone else happy so might as well not try :)

And I love you Cheryl and know you weren't talking about me. I hope the puke goes away soon--that is my absolute worst nightmare as a parent. I hate puke.

Moddy said...

My newest pet peeve would be a home teacher whom hasn't been in my home in months. And who ignores me at church. Who comes into my home and lectures me on what my feelings towards my ex should be. He has never even met the man!! And then proceeds to tell me that he is sure that my ex is a good father and I shouldn't worry about my children when they are with their dad??

Cardalls said...

sorry Moddy...that is terrible! my dear friend is divorced and the things people say to her are unbelievable.

flip flop mama said...

Wow Moddy I can't believe someone would say things like that. How horrible!

I have a pet peeve: people who drive in the pouring rain without their headlights on. We can't see you!

Cardalls said...

Pet peeve: people who speed through school zones anytime, but especially while school is getting out and children are ALL over the place. I yelled at a guy to slow down who was in a HUGE monster truck who couldnt even see the kid, who was probably going 50 and he gave me the bird. Nice!

FoxyJ said...

Yeah, I live in a residential neighborhood that's still close to State Street and some other big streets. People assume that all the streets by my house are still 40 MPH and drive like that. Drives me nuts! When I'm driving anywhere near my house I go exactly 25 and feel vindicated when I end up with people tailgating me. Slow down!

madhousewife said...

Admit it, Cheryl - you are just jealous of all those parents who get to go home with their napping children. I know I am. ;)

Actually, I went home from church a few weeks ago to take a nap because I was just. that. tired. My husband, who is an attending-church nazi (as opposed to a nap nazi) told me to do it, so I felt justified. My pet peeve is that it's not socially acceptable for an adult to sleep during Sunday School.

Actually, my real pet peeve is people who drive without their headlights in the early morning hours, when the sun is technically out but not technically quite doing its job. Also when they drive without headlights in heavy rain. Come on, people. Headlights: they matter.