Sunday, July 18, 2010

I Want To Write About It All

I have so many things I want to write. Every second of the day, I have something I want to write. My brain is overflowing with all of it, really, but the irony is that when I sit down to write it, I have nothing to say.

I can't tell if it's a memory thing (I already see a future with Alzheimer's. Seriously) or if maybe I just know I don't have the time to eloquently write what I'm feeling, thinking, hearing, wanting.

Probably both.

I mean, #2 said something hilarious today! I busted a gut! But for the life of me, I can't remember what she said.

I know I have a blog post inside of me somewhere talking about politics and my fear that the future of our country is not going to improve.

There's another one brewing that wants to discuss newlyweds, Temple marriage, the bridal shower I planned/attended for Jessica, and her and Isaac's upcoming wedding. How Brandon and I will be flying to Tennessee to be at the wedding, which also means mini-vacation without children!

I've longed to pen an essay on how I am HAPPY. So very, very, very happy! How I have control (for now) over this Depression and how elated I am with it. It's not perfect (life is NOT perfect), but it's so much better. The stark difference is staggering.

I also have a desire to describe my garden, to explain the intricacies of ivy growing on my back wall, and scream when I think about the mouse we caught in the house last week.

I want to declare to the world that I am actually becoming, loving, and desiring domestic work! I love putting on an apron! I want to let people know how incredibly satisfying it is to create a beautiful meal, and yet, at the same time, not cringe when I think I look a tad like Donna Reed. The feminist in me is truly being reconciled to the domestic diva in me. I want to serve my family in a nurturing capacity, one that I actually have found I have a talent for. Which is insane. And so not like me.

If I could, I would write about the new spiritual awakening I've had --how my testimony for Jesus Christ and His gospel deepens each day. How I am overwhelmed with His love for me.

My favorite subject, besides my children, is my husband. I long to tell you, dear reader, how I've fallen in love with him again. My love for him is so deep and pure --I honestly can say, like all those "old" people, that I love him more now than I ever did 12 years ago. He is my life.

But I'm not going to write about those things.

Because like I said, I really don't have time.

Maybe later.


Julie said...

Love you. Love this post. Love it all. And I feel many of those things you're feeling.
What's your August like? Do we have time for a visit sometime? I miss you!!

Anonymous said...

I hate when my kids say funny stuff and I remember that they said something funny but not what the funny thing was. Drives me nuts.

I'm happy that you are so happy.