Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Help, Please

Square foot garden is in!
Plants go in soon. Pictures will follow.

This is the last week of school for the kids. Huzzah! Sometimes I wonder why they even go to school the last week. They get out at 1:15PM on Thursday and 11:30AM on Friday. Kindergarten doesn't even go on Friday. Ah, well. It's a week of play. Heaven knows they deserve it!
But man, oh, man. I am sooooo ready for them to be done.

The series finale of LOST left me totally disappointed. It was like the writers were sitting around, had two minutes to come up with some random plot ending, and then decided to go the "afterlife" way. Totally lame. Sorry if you disagree, but it annoyed the heck out of me. What's worse is that I'm more confused now than I was in Season One! And I've been a loyal follower the entire time.
One good point: As they all were finding out that they did know each other, and all the long-lost lovers were finding each other, I have to admit that it was kind of sweet. Made absolutely no sense whatsoever, but it was still sweet!

I need advice! Tips! Things that can help me! Here's what I need:

1. Give me your step-by-step instructions for your compost pile. What goes in it, when/how you mix it, what to avoid, what to look for, etc.

2. How do you stop yourself from sabotaging your relationships? I.E. How do you pause before becoming angry, how do you keep promises you've made to be supportive, how do you be a foundation of help for someone who needs it? Brandon and I have one more year of this school thing, and I'm not doing so well with it. And I need to be. He and I have had some pretty deep conversations as of late, and I realize that he's being pulled in at least four very busy directions. Work, School, Church, and Family. All of it demands his time and his energy and his optimism. He's trying so hard to give everything to everyone, but in the end, it just can't be done the way we all want it to be done. It just can't right now. And the problems arise when he does give to everyone, but not himself. It's a crazy conundrum, eh?
So, how can I be more patient? More supportive? Have you gone through this and what did you do? And if you know me well, doesn't this sound like deja vu? I swear it is... ;)


Amanda D said...

I've never seen an episode of LOST. So I can't help you there, but you are the first person that I have heard of that didn't like the ending.

I've never composted either. Ew. Stinky!

As for being supportive? I'm afraid, I failed miserably when Bryan was in school. He quit. And we didn't even have kids. Oh, well. Good luck! I know you can do it. Lots of prayer, lots of routine and finding small moments together than mean a lot.

FoxyJ said...

What I would do is go buy a copy of the Square Foot Garden book. Seriously--we have been following it religiously for our compost and everything else. Best 10-15 dollars you will spend (I can't remember how much it was exactly). Or you can come over and look at mine. We put grass clippings and fruit/vegetable scraps in our ours, as well as random leaves and other yard waste. No avocado pits because they are too big. We also stir it a lot--that's important. Honestly my husband has taken over much of the garden stuff so I'm kind of useless..

And I wish I were better at relationship stuff too. Sometimes with things like school where there is an end in sight, I just do a lot of chanting "this too shall pass" to myself. This next year might not be the best one for big callings or big family things, but there will be time for that in the future.

Janelle said...

Sorry not a Lost watcher or a composter.

What about different types of communication. My husband is dying too.

Pregnant wife
Moving and having baby in same week
Remodeling new home prior to move
Work is crazy
Wife is crazy

I found that emailing and writing letters helps us communicate better. Instead of using crazy non verbal cues I expect Alex to understand, writing makes me feel better immediately and makes him feel less threatened. He does not like writing so when he digests what I have to say, we talk.

I don't know how you can be more supportive. Listening is the best thing I can suggest.

Anonymous said...

I didn't have a problem with the Lost ending. I would have liked a few more questions resolved (but that wasn't something they could do in a finale, they would have had to work that in during the season). We'll have to discuss more over the phone.

Julie said...

I loved the ending of Lost and felt that all the big questions were answered, or at least that I had been given a frame of reference in which to answer them myself. The more I discuss the ending with my fellow Lost friends here, the more I loved it. It was deeply spiritual, intellectual, and emotional. And I felt that it celebrated the fact that in the end, what matters are our relationships with others and the way that we react to the circumstances we are given. I loved it.

Brandon said...

But why did the statue have FOUR toes?!?!?!?

earlfam said...

I'll answer the one no one else cares about.

Compost piles don't really work for me. They're too much maintenance. What I have found works and so have others that I've talked to is to dig my compost scraps directly into my garden where they will get watered regularly. I find that in the summer they are all decomposed within a month. In the winter it takes longer, but it's not like you'll be needing that space for planting in January anyway. I just work back and forth across my garden and let the places where I've just added fresh scraps lie fallow for a few months.

Judith said...

i never watched Lost, as that is what i was from day one.
compost? uh, no...i live in a town house remember...sorry

supportive/relationships...hmmmm, i have been through that one several times with gio in school in italy and one kid, then here with school again and two kids, working full time and mom dying...so, here is my two cents worth...

this too shall pass. love each other, communication is vital, even to say that you hate what is going on..don't expect for the other to know your feelings. forgivness is important. go for a walk or something alone for down time, but not a movie...you want to be able to talk.
and what i did was loose myself in the moment. i realized that we had made the choice and we were in the moment and there was no going back, so i just squared my shoulders and did what i needed to do. the lord gives you the strength when you need it...
and who knows, maybe brandon needs to have that talk with the bishop too and just let him know that he can't do it all right now....
yes, those boys love him, but they can love someone else too....
the lord comes first, but now always church callings and we both know that. work is neccessary to live, and well...school. you're in it now and it's getting done.
admire brandon for what he is doing and look at how much better off your family will be because of it.
what do the scriptures say, and this to shall give the experience.

remember your children are watching and learning from you...what do you want them to learn.

hugs...hope it all works out!

Anne Marie said...

I agree with Judith! Great wisdom from her. I recently had a talk with my bishop since I struggle with anxiety periodically, and it's been really bad for a few months, and I asked him about my calling. He told me that no one ever does everything they could in their callings, and that's okay. It's okay to do the most essential things and then let things slide. Then, the bishop also told me that if I thought my calling was affecting my health, it might be time to move on to something simpler. He left that up to me and the Lord, but he instructed me that my family came first. And, when in doubt, lower expectations (in a good way). We need to figure out which battles are the most important to fight. We all have limited time, energy, and resources. Some people are blessed with enough energy they can do like 3 people's worth of work, and some of us are kind of low-energy people who do much less. That's okay! I just think of the scripture about not running faster than you have strength, and some of us are not sprinters. Best wishes to you! In response to your post above about plateauing with weight, I'm right there with you. You've made great progress! Sometimes, it's just good to sit on the plateau for a while and let your body re-adjust its thermostat.