Friday, March 12, 2010

American Idol:

I was so disappointed that Paige and Katie made it over Lilly. In fact, I would have preferred Katelyn over Paige and Katie, too. :(

The guys? Not as disappointed, although Alex leaving was sad. The poor guy still has no confidence, but he was getting there! And his voice was really good. Unfortunately, for me, all of the guys were pretty good. So it would have been sad to see any of them go.

This has been a hard week for me, depression-wise. Very hard. I've been trying to put on a fakey-fake-brave face, all the while knowing I'm having my first "down" week in months. It's been compounded by the following:
1. A sick husband who has been studying and doing school phone calls and working long-long hours.
2. Being sick myself (just a cold).
3. Going on (and then off) Wellbutrin.
4. A baby who will NOT sleep at night. Who will not do the Ferber method, or the sort-of-Ferber method, and needs to be cuddled and nursed to sleep. In fact, I should move this to number one because sleep affects my depression immensely, and after 8 months of this, I'm starting to break down. Luckily, I have a sympathetic friend who has given me the name of a book that should help me. It should be here soon. I'll let you know how it goes!
5. Feeling stress over finances, budget changes (good ones,though!), the garden thing, and house projects.
6. Five gorgeous, whiny, fun, bickering children. And their homework. And piano lessons. And chores. And stubborn personalities. And feeling outnumbered. Which makes sense.

What I've Done to Combat It:
1. Consistently taking my meds
2. Long, hot showers
3. Not feeling bad for taking time "off"
4. Realizing what is going on and removing the stress
5. Trying not to berate myself for still not having a therapist (although I need one)


It's still cold outside, but the sun is shining! The last time we got "moisture" it was rain! Not snow! Could Spring really be coming? Could it?!? I can't wait. I can't wait for flowers and gardens and the farmer's market and hiking and camping! Huzzah!


Julie said...

You're doing really good things!
The weather's been warm enough, at least, that the kids have been playing outside a lot and that is so great.

AI: I was ticked beyond reason at 3 of the emliminations. I'm not loving any of the guys yet, but Alex was the one I was most excited about -- he was going through a transformation and I was so excited to see where he went with it. The only other guy I really care much about is Lee. All the others have not lived up to their pre-Live show hype and/or potential.
The girls....oooooooohhhhhhh, I posted about them on Facebook, but I really thought Katelyn had top 5 potential. This week's boring performance excepted, she has been on fire. And even her boring performance was miles above and beyond Paige's horrible train wreck that was Smile. And I liked Lilly, even though she was starting to be a bit of a one-trick pony. At least she was interesting to look at and listen to. Katie is, to me, the epitome of the kid who's been watching since she was 9 and whose parents have carefully crafted her to be the robot contestant who has all the right parts on paper, but just doesn't translate to awesomeness on stage. She's been a huge disappointment for me.

I sure hope Siobhan, Crystal, and Lee save the season for me.

(You can always count on a long AI comment from me, huh?!)

Gio, Judi and Boys said...

ai....i don't know all their names because i lost track after the olympics until this week, but i can tell you this, the black girl, what ever her name is, she is terrible! she will be gone next week. i loved the two girls that were let go last night. and the boys...i like michael...i think that is his name..the new dad. he was good...and i also like the guys the kara had undress....oh well, just me.

as for the weather, i think there is snow in the forcast for this weekend then to the 60's on monday nd tuesday!

love you!

Alison Wonderland said...

Yay for almost spring! (Although I'm not quite letting myself believe it, I have a bad feeling about this spring.)

Anonymous said...

I wish I was there to spell you for a bit so you could take a nap.

Hope next week is an improvement.

brenbot said...

i feel a bit in a funk this week too. maybe its the moon. stupid moon. hang in there!

Stephanie said...

I have some type of spring flower coming up in my new front yard. I have no idea what it is called (I just know they must be bulbs and are purple and white), or how many there are, but each one is BEAUTIFUL!! Especially since spring is coming.

Annette Lyon said...

I've been struggling with a lot of similar things lately and putting on a serious happy face for others. The one time I was really able to feel good was at the launch party.

(THANKS for coming! It was so good to see you there!)

And you just reminded me that I didn't take my own meds this morning. Whoops.

Michelle said...

So maybe it's in the air. I was in a big funk there, too, for a couple of weeks in particular.

Call me (or maybe I'll call you). Let's do that playdate we missed recently so you can have a break. Soon.