The cat is sitting on my lap as I type; it's strangely comforting. I say strangely because I usually don't let him sit on my lap because of my allergies. He misses Brandon, though, and so do I. So, we're comforting each other.
My sister is being induced tomorrow. She is a few days over her due date and has never had to be induced before. Of course, she could always go into labor tonight...but it's nice to know her son will be born by tomorrow. It's her third boy and I can't wait to see him!
Today I took the day off. I didn't do much. Taught a piano lesson here and there, did carpool, fed the kids, changed diapers, supervised homework, etc. That's about it. I stayed in my pajamas and I watched TV (doh!) and ate some cookies. I shouldn't feel guilty (since I need a day off every once in a while) but tomorrow I'm having some guests, and Brandon comes home Saturday night and the house is right mess. Disgusting, really. But I do this, you know. I save all the housecleaning and laundry for one day of the week for some reason. Why do I do this? I have no idea. But the kids have already been warned --tomorrow is chore day! Which lines up nicely since it's early-out day at school.
Tomorrow morning I'm meeting with a psychiatrist. So far the Zoloft seems to be working, but I want to make sure I'm doing what I should be doing (plus get a few therapist referrals!). I'm a tad nervous, though. I need to take the baby, but I'm hoping he won't need to nurse while I'm there. I'm also nervous that I'll break down and treat the psychiatrist like a therapist, which probably won't help. I don't know.
Did you know it was 90 degrees on Tuesday, and then Wednesday morning we woke up to a high of 45 degrees? The snow does look pretty in the mountains, but I'm not ready for winter. Not yet! Autumn just arrived!
Sigh. I hate Utah weather.
I still haven't been able to figure out my schedule. I don't know how to fit in exercise or work or callings or kids or whatever else I need to do without completely stressing myself out. So, I'm taking it more slowly, and focusing on the important things like nursing the baby. And taking a shower most days. I want to be better at the chores and the house and myself, but I realize that right now my focus really needs to be on getting better and taking care of my children. This means --for now --that it's okay to take days like today; it's okay to say no to things.
I mean, I keep telling myself it's okay, but myself isn't really buying it.
I fell in love with my husband again last night. Although he was in London and I was here and we were simply chatting over gmail, I felt so close to him. The funny part is we were just chatting about a possible school class for him to take, and talking about opportunities that would actually make him busier --but for me, it was proof that we were meant to be together, and it was awesome! Simply awesome.