*There's nothing like a funeral to make you think about your life and wonder how others will remember you --or how you'll remember others.
*Man, music is the best. Victor Hugo once said: Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
He was so right.
*A good friend taught me that we will never "arrive" to a place where our trials end. But I do know that I think I'm ready for the next one. Maybe. Perhaps I haven't learned all I need to learn from my trials right now, but man...I hope I learn it soon! I'm ready for this one to be done. It feels like it's been going on for a really long time (years and years, actually)...
*I know more than the doctor does about my body and about my babies. I actually learned this on Monday during another ultrasound --where the doctor was baffled that not only have my fluid levels returned to normal, but the baby really could be a week ahead. It took everything in my power to stop myself from saying:
I am so tired of doctors telling me I don't know my own body. I'm tired of them telling me how to give birth and to pay them lots of money "just in case" I might have a 10 pound baby.
[The ranting is still going to continue, dear reader. I can't help it. Just warning ya!]
Here's the thing:
I have had 5 pregnancies and 4 children (this is my 6th pregnancy). My smallest baby was 8lbs 3 oz. My largest was 9lbs 11oz. All three of my boys (this one is the third boy) were conceived the day after my period ended. I ovulate twice a month. YES! I do! I've known I have for years and years! This time it was a no-brainer because Brandon came home from China and 6 days later he was in England.
So, I already knew this baby was older than they say he is --I already have big babies. I have never had Gestational Diabetes, and the tests came back negative. AGAIN. For the second time this pregnancy. I'm also young. I also deliver my babies unmedicated. I also have amazing birthing hips and I heal-after-labor really fast. I was seriously blessed with this birthing-machine-of-a-body, and I'm tired of doctors who REFUSE TO LISTEN TO ME telling me what they "know" is going on.
So, I'm cancelling my 37 week ultrasound. I'm not paying another 100 bucks for the doctors to say, once again, that everything is fine.
"But Cheryl," you may say, "what if something does go wrong? What if you do have an 11 pound baby? That's why we have doctors! We need to listen to them!"
If I have an 11 pound baby, or if something tragic happens because I refused to have one more ultrasound (after this last one showed --once again --that the baby is thriving), then I will feel bad. But I trust my gut and the influence of the Spirit in this matter over some random doctor who has only seen me once (and barely bothered to flip through my chart). And I will continue to feel this way until the Spirit tells me otherwise.
What have you learned lately?