Friday, January 30, 2009

Divorce, Travel, and Blogging Buddies!

#1's initial reaction to the announcement of the pregnancy:
Me: Okay, kids, I know dad's not here, but we decided we need to tell you something.
#2: What is it?
Me: I have an announcement!
#3: What is it?
Me: Later this year, we are going to have a huge change in our family! A huge change.
#1: Are you and dad getting divorced?
Me, gaping at my oldest daughter for a few seconds.
Me: What!? No! We're having a BABY!
#1: Oh! Yay!
#2 and #3: Yay!
#4: grunt
#3: I wanna brother!
Me: Why would you think we were getting divorced? We're not getting divorced.
#1 shrugs: Okay. So what are you going to name the baby!? Let's make a list!

She made a list.
I didn't say anything else, but her reaction made me very nervous. Especially since Brandon and I are definitely not getting divorced. Why would she think we were? I told Brandon later that day about what #1 had said and then we both realized she had heard us talking that morning. We were stressed about finances (who in the country --world! --isn't stressed about finances right now?) and it was about 6:30AM, we were in our bed, and I was crying (I'm an emotional wreck pretty much all the time now, and I'm blaming the pregnancy --not just my depression. Besides, my depression makes me apathetic and UN-emotional. The pregnancy has reversed that it seems, except it's awful because I'm always bursting into tears. Sigh). #1 must have overheard us discussing and me crying --and, well, what 7 year old (20 year old?) hasn't figured their parents would divorce over even less than that?
I took the time to explain to her after school that sometimes people cry, and sometimes people discuss and argue, but the point is that we figure out a way to get along, apologize, compromise, etc. and then it's okay. She seemed satisfied with my answer, and I really hope she understands that it's okay to make mistakes, as long as we fix them. Because gosh-darn! We all make mistakes --especially in marriage --and I refuse to perpetuate the myth that marriage is perfect. I honestly believe kids who think marriage is perfect, or never see their parents argue, grow up to freak out when their own marriages aren't perfect. Talk about pressure! And despair.
Speaking of marriage...
...Brandon was supposed to be home today, but his company wanted him to stay an extra day in London for some more meetings, and so he's coming home tomorrow night. What's one more day after 2 weeks, right?
But then he has to go back on Feb. 8th for a week --which wouldn't be a big deal, but the 8th is #4's Second birthday, and the 11th is #2's Sixth birthday.
Sigh, sigh, sigh.
This is okay, though. It really is --I don't want you, dear reader, to think I'm upset with my husband. Because this is just what has to happen. The client is in England, so he needs to be in England to make it work, capische? Is it inconvenient? You betcha. Would it be easier if he didn't travel? Fo' shizzle! But then I would never in a million years had the chance to go to London when I did. How can I complain about that? And he's good at his job and they need him --I can't complain about that, either. It's called Job Security.
So, we'll deal. I'll miss him, but I know he misses me (and the kids) just as much, so it's all good.
Last night I met Alison Wonderland! Whoo-hoo!
Alison had a book club for her ward and the book they read was Spires of Stone by Annette Lyon. Annette and Alison are blogging buddies, and so Alison asked Annette to come. How fun would that be? To have the author of the book come to your book club? But the best part? Annette and I are blogging buddies, too! Plus, we met in November (and have exchanged emails, etc.) AND Alison and I are also blogging buddies, but we have never met. So Alison invited me to tag along, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't thrilled. Excited. Stoked. Giddy with joy. Okay, I wasn't "giddy", but I was quite content.
So, Annette and I drove up together, picked up Alison, went out to dinner, headed back to Alison's place and had an enjoyable book club. Five ladies came (besides us), and it was fun to listen to their questions and Annette's answers. I think I even giggled once or twice. Or chortled? Maybe guffawed? I know I laughed quite a bit...
After book club, Annette and I stayed longer to talk with Alison. Time went by way too fast and we finally had to leave (apologies to both Annette and Alison for my desire to just stay there all night!). It was a fab night!
And that Annette? So fun. Talented, funny, easy to talk to, and fun!
That Alison? Just as awesome as you would suspect from her blog. Except awesomer!

And now it has me in the mood to do something in March. I'm gonna have another Blogger Get-together thingy-ma-jingy. March sounds good, right? I don't want to wait too long, but let's get out of winter a little bit first. I'll let you know what I decide.

Until then, dear reader, adieu.


siobhan "makakona" said...

i remember, as a kid, hearing my parents talk covertly about money. it TERRIFIED me. i always thought we were on the brink of homelessness when we were just normal, having normal money issues. but it was scary as a kid!

are you taking fish oil? four grams a day! and lots of salmon, too! it TOTALLY helps your mood. my husband's a cop and they just had a "critical incident" and even at the debriefing for that, they recommended all officers involved start taking fish oil, which was interesting.

congratulations! babies are such a blessing!

Anonymous said...

So. Very. Jealous.


Annette Lyon said...

Last night was a total ball! Hanging out with you and Alison (and the book club ladies) was the highlight of my week.

The cheesefries were awesome too. :D

Rebekah said...

On divorce: I understand you and #1. I remember when I was little, I often heard Mom and Dad discussing things and arguing a little bit, and Mom was probably crying and stressed out. Anyway, my brothers and sisters came into the room and I started crying and said I was afraid Mom and Dad were going to get divorced. They were, of course, FAR from divorce, but I was really worried! I guess you just hear about divorce from everyone else in the world and it seems like a possibility.

I guess my point is not to be too shocked about #1's reaction. She just sees what happens around her in the world. She will learn quickly that her family is different (and probably already knows).

Cheryl said...

Exactly! That's why I took the time to explain it to her later...

Mine, too! And yes, those cheesefries...I think I need more!

Don't be jealous. You'll meet her someday, too! I promise. :)

I did take fish oil once, but it gave me headaches. Is it supposed to do that? Maybe I should try it again...

Cristy said...

Glad you are helping your kids see how the world really is! They need to see you fight (a little) but then make up, well, not ALL of that part! ;)

Tammy said...

hi...I'm not sure how I get here, but I have been through the pregnancy/depression/ hubby traveling thing and I totally feel for you. Of course, mine was out of twon 3 weeks out of the month. least you get to London out of it!!! I lvoe your blog...I'll be back!!!

Amanda D said...

You're going to have plan another get together in July when I'll be in Utah. I'm so disappointed I wont be in Utah in March.

Your daughter's reaction cracks me up! I remember asking my parents when I was around her age if they were going to get divorced. I think it's just something kids wonder about, because I am one of those kids who never heard their parents arguing.

Hooray for Brandon coming home!

flip flop mama said...

I remember thinking about that with my parents when I was a kid too. Unfortunately it did come true later, but I did learn that just because parents fight doesn't mean they can't work it out. that is one thing I definitely want to ingrain in my children

Summer said...

Ithought my parents would divorce after every disagreement. It's just something I think kids are all very afraid of.

By the way I've enjoyed reading all your London posts and seeing all the pics!

Alison Wonderland said...

Yay!! That Alison girl sounds really cool. Um, I mean, oh forget it.

You're my new favorite, as I've mentioned to you, and we really are going to have to get together again. Soon. Bring Bythelbs.

Amber said...

WAIT, did I miss the official pregnancy announcement??? Must go back through your past posts. I am so so so thrilled for you!