Saturday, July 26, 2008

Maybe We Should Weed the Garden --Literally!

Friday morning (June 25), I sent Brandon out to stop the water from running in our backyard spigot. It's broken; the pipe has broken somewhere inside, and so it will run constantly unless the big heavy brick is pressed against it, keep the pressure under control. Anyway, until we get a plumber to come fix it (i.e. rip a hole in our basement wall, fix the pipe, patch the wall, etc. etc.), we've been doing this make-shift-heavy-brick solution.
So, Brandon went outside to fix it. I took a shower.
As I got out of the shower, Brandon came into the room:
Get dressed, Cheryl! I have to show you something. Quick!
Because of the anxious look on his face, I threw some clothes on and followed him. He grabbed the camera on our way out the back and he firmly told the kids (who were eating breakfast) to stay inside as he shut the sliding door behind us. I had visions of our poor cat dead, or some major water damage, or maybe he found a dead body buried in the dirt? (I'm morbid like that)
Brandon: I was working on the water/brick thing, and I noticed something. You see that plant?
Next to the spigot was a very large and green plant. It was obviously healthy and I it was as high as our windows.
Brandon looked at me.
I looked at the plant.
My jaw dropped.
How did I not notice this until now?! I worked on the spigot two days earlier.
Do you recognize it?

Yeah, so we pulled it out, found another one nearby (what in the world is going on here?!), and Brandon called the police (after we laughed hysterically at the situation. How could you not laugh hysterically at the situation?). He explained the situation, but they said unless it was found dried, there's not much they can do about it. They asked if we wanted to file a report, but that seemed silly, seeing as these plants had been growing for a long time --if someone really wanted their weed, they would have taken it by now (and yes, the thought that it was our renters that might have planted it --accidentally, or purposefully --did cross our minds). So, the cops told us just to throw it into the green waste and not worry about it.
Can you believe it?! Ooh! Ooh! But the worst part? Worst? The kids saw me put these big plants into the green waste bin and said:
Hey! That was our plant!
me: WHAT? (as calmly as possible)
them: We used to pick the leaves for our salads!
me: (still as calmly as possible) Your salads?
them: Our pretend salads.
me: Did you ever eat the leaves you put in your pretend salads?
them: No! Eww, mom! It's pretend.
me: Okay, that's good.

This takes needing to weed the garden to a whole new level!

Have you ever found something totally illegal and dangerous in your backyard?


The Motherboard said...

I thought it was just a giant weed-- not weed-weed. I guess I'm just naive like that. I gasped really loud, and all my kids came running. I just told them my friend had giant weed in her yard. And they thought I was on drugs getting all excited over weeds.

Pretty funny, Cheryl.

Kelly A. said...

THAT was the funniest thing I have ever seen. I'm clueless, I wouldn't have know what the plant was. I might have said, "ooh pretty plant, thriving!"

Ryan and Missy- said...

Oh, that's good! I made Ryan come out to read this one! We got a good laugh! He's in the office still laughing about it right now!

veronica said...

This is one of the best things I've ever seen.

Brandon said...

Clarification.. The police said that usually tell people to flush drugs down the toilet. Obviously you can't do that with a four foot plant, so they said to just throw it away. If I wanted to have somebody come out and file a report, they would send somebody.

If it disappears out of our trash, I blame one of you. :)

Julie said...

That's really funny. When I first saw it, I thought it was a sumac. They grow like crazy and FAST (hence you not noticing it) and they look like this. Only then I looked closer and realized sumacs don't have jagged edges on their leaves.
I am laughing my head off. And I love that your kids used it for salads. I think I'd like an excuse like "they ate the weed in our backyard" for the way my children behave sometimes.

Thanks for the laugh!

Jared said...

I didn't know that you were drug dealers?!

Cheryl said...

Ha. Ha. You are sooooo funny.

Julie P said...


Cristy said...

BwaHAHAHAHA!!! That is hands down my fav. blog of the week! Wow, that is too hilarious! I can just see Brandon out there and doing a double take, pinching himself... too funny!

Lizzie said...

Is it bad that I recognized the plant right away? I did grow up in Seattle, after all...

Amanda D said...

That is so funny! I'm so glad that you posted about it.

Jolene said...

One time a guy stole a car and then ditched it and hid in our backyard - but that was nothing compared to your mary-jane story. This is the funniest blog entry I have read this week!

Courtney N said...

Now thats something you don't see everyday!

Anonymous said...

You threw it away? What did it ever do to you? It can't help what it is. Or was!

The only dangerous thing I've found in my backyard is cat poo. We don't have a cat, so I really think it should be illegal.

flip flop mama said...

What? Where's my comment?? I did leave one today...weird.

Anyway I said that I'm not sure I would have known what it was right away. It took me a bit to recognize it from that picture. Hilarious!

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

That's too funny!

Susan M said...

That's hilarious. The salad plant!

I once found rock cocaine stashed in my backyard.

Amy said...

Too Crazy/Weird/Funny!!!

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

On another note: The visit was SO worth the drive!! Love ya. :D

FluffyChicky said...

Bwahahahah! I fell out of my chair laughing at you!
Pretend salads! Ha!

Richelle said...

That is so crazy! And funny! I probably wouldn't have realized what it was. :)

Madsens said...

does that stuff really happen in "happy valley??"

bahahahahah!! I love the salad story - i had to read it again just for full effect :) Journal worthy for sure!!

Becky, i have a cat said...

That. Is. Awesome! I nearly fell off my chair laughing. And my initial reaction was that your renters accidentally planted it.

m&m said...

Hilarious. I would not have had a clue.

How did YOU know? hahahahaha

Cheryl said...

Good question! I think I might have known because I was in the Percussion Section of the Marching Band. Not that there was drug use going on; they were do you put it? Let's just say that the Percussion Section are the rebels of the band. And unfortunately, they educated me in some things. Ha!
(becky, i have a cat totally understands what I'm talking about).

Becky, i have a cat said...

Pppft, I have no idea what you mean! Really, sweet and innocent here, not damaged a bit by the drum line. :)

brenbot said...

Brandon sent me an email Friday with the title, "I need your expertise" which included pictures of the plants and the question, "Is this what I think it is?"

Probably the funniest email from my brother ever.

I bet the renters just threw their seeds in the yard. Usually they don't grow, but sometimes they do. And I hear they grow fast so they probably hadn't sprouted yet when the renters moved out.

Totally laughing about the kids' salads. You don't have to be too worried though, pretty sure eating the leaves is harmless.

brenbot said...

Actually I have no idea if eating the leaves is harmful or not.