I really want to thank all of you who left comments on my Routine Post yesterday. Seriously, your experiences have helped me out so much! There was one comment that sparked the inner-workings of my brain and reminded me of something I have been thinking about lately. I decided I needed to write an entire post (all be it, short) about this idea, and so...here it is! Thanks to Katie for leaving the following comment:
...as another LDS mother of four little kids, I do have a suggestion. Give yourself a break. We live in such a culture of perfectionism that we sometimes forget that we are expected to TRY--not to have it all figured out *right now*. And I know that is difficult since everyone around you looks like they have it figured out already (or, at least, the ones around me usually do). So I'll tell you my reality. My house is messy. My kids spend most of the day in unstructured play (which is healthy for them to have, really). Sometimes dinner comes out of a box (or a takeout). And sometimes I'm preparing for my calling in Young Women up until right before I leave for mutual (heck, sometimes I'm still doing it while the girls are walking in the room). My husband and I were talking about this last night. It is so easy to lose perspective when you think of all of the things it seems like you *should* be doing. But as long as you're keeping your family first, you are doing what you need to. The rest falls into place.
She has a similar perspective to a lot of LDS women, I've noticed. Many LDS women feel the need --nay, the right --to give themselves a break. And I don't blame them! I actually agree with this, because sometimes women are very hard on themselves. Comparisons to other women (to the ideal) along with pity for their failures, women are their own worst critics.
But somewhere along the way, this attitude of "giving yourself a break" has taken a nasty turn in my opinion, and personally? I think that's what prompted Sister Beck's talks in the Relief Society Meeting (Oct. 2007) and in General Conference.
LDS women don't have time to wallow. We don't have time to engage in notorious amounts of self-pity. And believe you me, dear reader, I wallow and pity myself. A lot.
I think that if LDS women are truly to live up to their potential, they need to stop engaging in both of these harmful attitudes. They need to stop expecting perfection, and they need to stop slacking off.
Where is the happiness in demanding instant perfection? At the same time, where is the happiness in constant justification? Honestly, if I would just pick myself out of Satan's Pity Trap and get to work, I would be happier. I know this, because I do it over and over and over and over...Thus the post about routines. I knew I needed help, so I got it and now I'm movin' on. Will it be perfect? Heavens, no! Will I probably have to re-visit the subject again and again? Fo' shizzle. But will it help me stop wallowing for a time? Hallelujah, yes!
So, dear reader, how do you view these types of things? Are you too hard on yourself? Or are you too easy on yourself? Where do you fall? And what are you trying to do about it?