I have a few moments before General Conference begins this morning, and so I thought I'd catch up on my blog. I know blog posts flow better when they focus on one subject, but I don't have time for several blog posts. And btw, have any of you noticed how much my blogging has slowed these last two weeks? I have, and I know it's directly related to my crazy schedule. But that's a good thing, and as much as I tell myself to stop the blogging all together, I don't think I ever could. :)
We are "Ferberizing" #4. Brandon and I finally had a serious discussion on the inability for him to sleep at night. Brandon stated: "Our other kids always slept great, and I know it's because we let them cry it out for a few days. We haven't done it with #4, and I know --I just know --that's why he won't sleep." So, we started on Wednesday night. And just to give you a picture, this isn't about going to sleep awake --this cute kid of ours will sleep for about 3 hours and then get up and cry. Then he'll wake up in another 2-3 hours and cry. Sometimes I nurse him, sometimes I don't --and honestly, he doesn't need it. He's 8 months old and drinks 8 oz. at 8PM. If he decided to sleep until 7AM, his body would be okay (and if for some reason, dear reader, you feel to contradict me in this logic, stop now. I'm not up for a debate about my child's health.). What's the root of the problem, then? He doesn't know how to put himself back to sleep without intervention. So we're changing this. Wednesday night, he cried for a good hour or more (starting around midnight). Thursday he cried for about 40 minutes (starting around 11PM). Friday night he cried for about 25 minutes (at 8:30PM) and then again for 10 minutes (around 2AM). Last night, he cried for about 15-20 minutes (around midnight). And he hasn't nursed in three days. That's right. The kid is weaned. And miraculously, it was self-weaning! I promised myself to keep nursing him, but 4AM was the earliest I'd go. All three nights, he slept until almost 7AM! Of course, it's bittersweet. I really wanted to nurse him for a year, but when he was biting me, I knew it wasn't going to happen. Anyway, I'm glad we're finally doing this. I've gotten more sleep in the last 4 days then I have since before he was born! Hooray for sleep! [disclaimer: we don't just let him "cry it out". We follow the Ferber method pretty well --we do go in to comfort him; we just don't pick him up.]
I have set a new goal for myself (to go along with the other gazillion): NO yelling or hitting of any kind when it comes to #3, #2, and #1. Luckily, #1 and #2 don't get spanked anymore anyway. The yelling is there, though. #3 is so exasperating, though, and so I find myself spanking him more than I should/want. I started this goal on Tuesday (or was it Wednesday?) mostly because the kid is turning into a monster, and I know it's because of the way I react to his misbehavior. So, I set this goal to be calm. It hasn't been perfect, but I can honestly say that the yelling is almost gone and the spanking has only happened once (now imagine a 3 year old boy with a feisty attitude, no respect for authority, who gets pleasure out of teasing everyone. Then you can see why it's hard not to get angry with him!). Time-outs have increased (ten-fold!), but I think he's starting to learn. He apologizes more sincerely now and I've noticed an increase in respect for my authority. It's hard, people --dang hard --not to just play the I'm-the-adult-and-bigger-than-you card, but it seems to be paying off. I just have to be patient. And calm. Breathe, breathe, breathe...
I LOVE General Conference. I think it's the best thing ever! The only thing that would make it bliss would be children that loved it, too. :) Elder Holland is my favorite. So is Elder Oaks. Oh, and President Hinckley, too. And Elder Bednar. And...okay, so I like them all. But Elder Holland has such a way of chastising with love. He pierces my heart to the center and I love to be chastised by him. His talk on the way we speak from the April 2007 Conference is something I'm--obviously--still working on.
Now that #4 is weaned, I'm thinking about planning a get-a-way with Brandon. Any ideas for an over-nighter?
Brandon left this morning for SLC. He found out on Tuesday that his Mission President will be in Utah for a mission reunion. Mission reunions happen a lot around conference; especially in the SLC area. However, Brandon has not had a reunion with his Mission President ever. We lived in Utah for 10 years, and not one time did his mission have a reunion. Why? His Mission President is Australian and lives in --you guessed it! --Australia. And now, out of the blue, he is in the States and they are having the reunion tonight. Of course, it happens the weekend we are watching two of Brandon's cousins. So driving there for the weekend was out of the question. But he needed to go-- so I made him buy tickets and go. I hope he has a good time!
Okay, that is all for now. I'm off to watch Conference! [on my couch, of course :)]
14 comments:
I've been trying to train myself to react to my fiesty 3 year old gently lately too. Always trying.
And I fully support your Ferberizing! A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. Congratulations on the success!
I'm glad your hubbby get to go to his reunion.
I also need to get my baby to sleep through the night but I don't know if I'm up for making it happen. It's so easy to pull her into bed, and fall asleep with her nursing. But she's almost 6 months old. I don't think she wakes up because she's hungry, I thik she does it out of habit.
Ahhhh, sleep training! My daughter woke up every two hours for the first six months of her life. I was a WRECK. Good luck to you!
My little guy has been a great sleeper but has been sick since we arrived in Canada. This means I've been up with him pretty much most nights trying to keep him from waking every one else up. When I get back to Colorado? A bit of tough love. :-)
It's so interesting that you're not up for a debate about your childs heatlth, but you're up for giving your "advice" to everyone. Seriously, go back and read your writing....you are so overwhelmed and can't hardly stand to admit it. Always referring to wanting more. Take care of the ones you have and take a break, maybe that would help the yelling and spanking thing. And yes.......I have FOUR kids too also did it in 6 years. Really, you make it sound like you're superwoman or something. Really.
Oh My Gosh! I can't believe the last comment. WOW is all I have to say. I REALLY REALLY don't understand why people feel it necessary to be unkind. REALLY. And also, I love the cowardly "anonymous" approach.
Onward... I loved conference SO much, too. So great. I can't pick favorites, as I had a new one, it seemed, with every talk.
I think it's great you're letting your babe cry it out. I'm sure things will improved quickly. I'm glad you're getting sleep. Also, so sweet of you to make sure your hubby got to see his mission pres. That was very self-sacrificing of you. I'm seriously impressed.
Thank you, Rochelle. Anonymous isn't the first to insult me on my own blog. I doubt "she'll" be the last.
Cheryl,
You can't take what "anonymous" says to heart. Don't let her get to you. She may have 4 kids of her own and be dealing with life just fine...that doesn't mean everybody does, and it certainly doesn't mean that you should stop having kids because you haven't perfected your mothering skills. If every woman waited until they were excellent mothers all of the time to have more kids, everyone would stop with one child. Because as you know, every person is a great parent until they have a child. You always know exactly what you'd do in somebody else's case until it's your case.
If someone feels the need to judge you, then just feel reassurance in the fact that somebody else is judging them (namely me...I'm judging "anonymous" for being to judgemental)!
BTW, I loved Sister Beck's talk yesterday...read it again when you get the chance and feel good about the mom you are, and let it help inspire you to keep trying to be better! That's all we can do!
"Giving your advice to everyone"??? Hello, it's your blog, Cheryl! You can write what you darn well want to write.
We did a modified Ferber on our daughter and it worked wonders. What is right for one family may not be right for another so good for you for doing what you feel is right.
jamie-
I think she was referring to comments I make on other blogs (i.e. community ones).
Doh! **slapping hand on forehead** Guess that's what happens when I come in late on the conversations LOL
btw I see you are reading Memoirs of a Geisha...how do you like it? I finished it on Friday.
Jamie-
No problem. :) I actually have only gotten to the part where she leaves the village. I'm not really into it.
Tell me, did you like it? I'm kind of "eh" about reading it because it just seems like another "Pretty Woman" type book (i.e. a young girl rises in the ranks of prostitution and becomes famous and the lover of some great man and thus her life is finally worth something, blah, blah --kind of like "Evita"). That may sound harsh, but I've read it before, you know? I want to read something new. But if you think it was amazing, I may re-think it...
Yeah, that's pretty much the story. I didn't really get into it until about half way through, but what I was really fascinated by was the culture of the Japanese and the Geisha. I just asking myself, "Why do they think this is not just glorified prostitution?" The whole idea of it is just crazy, but I find it intriguing.
Cheryl-
If it makes you feel better I spanked #2 twice before bedtime the other day. I hate when I do that, but sometimes I know of no other way to get my point accross. Ugh! What is up with Anonymous. I am sorry about that. That would get under my skin too. For the record, I think you are a GREAT mom. Your kids are very cute and very nice. YOU are also pretty nice as well.
katie-
I think you're super nice, too. :)
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