Saturday, July 08, 2006


Hi. My name is Cheryl, and I am a blurter. I have been a blurter most of my life, and I don't know how to stop. Help. me. please?

Yes, yes, I have been known (by pretty much everyone I have ever been in any type of conact with, whether you are my mother or the bank-teller person) as someone who tends to speak her mind. I am not afraid of this label, but at times, it is a sad, sad thing. I will sometimes move from mood to mood with the idea that I will never blurt what I am thinking ever again, and then back to the format that speaking my mind makes me independent and confident.

The problem with my blurting is my inability to see it as it is --blurting. This is not some though-provoking statement, this is blurting. I am not helping the air. I think I am, but usually I am not. Usually, I do not see that I am a blurter, and someone, if they feel strong enough, will have to point it out to me.

I've often wondered if this stems from genetics. Was I born with the incessant need to speak? Did I learn it in childhood? Is it because I am a first-born? Or perhaps society, with it's need to create diversity amongst it's throngs of people shaped my craving for blurting?

All I do know about my blurting, however, is beginning to change how I blurt. Some may say that terms such as "thoughtful blurting" do not exist and I would challenge them to say that they do! Thinking before blurting does seem ironic --almost an oxymoron --but I have somehow honed this skill to near perfection. Here is a scenario:

DH: "So, I'm thinking that we should do this with the kids, blah, blah, blah"
Me: "Hey, was so-and-so in that movie, too?"
DH: "what?!?? where did that come from?"
Me: "Oh, you said this about the kids and then I thought this which lead to this and then this and then the movie"
DH: "oh. You confuse me"

See! See! I blurted, but I had thought long and hard about what I was going to say.

But, alas, my worst blurting occurs when I forget to think about the person I'm talking to and their feelings. This is the blurting that I'm trying to overcome. It's the hardest one, and yet would seem to be the easiest, right? The problem is that I THINK I'm being considerate, when in fact, if I thought FURTHER I would realize that I am NOT being considerate at all. Oh, the irony! It's like my Thoughtful blurting....

Next time, our session will be about rambling. Hi, I'm Cheryl, and I'm a rambler....

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