1. You can change your script.
2. Your weaknesses can be your strengths.
3. Comparison is the thief of joy.
4. Our body/spirit connection is essential.
You can change your script.
What does this mean? Briefly, it simply means that you can change your own dynamics, your own family dynamics, etc. to be different from how you were raised. It's okay not to have a home exactly like your tribe --meaning the home you were raised in. It's okay to divert your path from your siblings' paths or your parents. It's okay to be yourself and it's okay to re-write what you want to become and who you want to be.
An example from my life would be this: I was raised by very organized and clean people. My tribe is full of planners, rule-followers, and organizers (in life and in home maintenance). Is this a good thing? For sure! I found, upon adulthood, that although I like a clean house as much as the next person, that I am very inconsistent. I don't like budgets, I don't like scheduled chore days, I don't like chore charts. I don't like unrealistic expectations, and I don't like to be forced to follow rules that don't make sense to me. I will keep a clean and organized home for months and then the next several months may be chaos. I procrastinate paperwork, I spend too much time online, and I would rather visit with people than organize anything.
For years and years, this inconsistency of mine has plagued me to death. I thought I was broken. I kept trying to be what I thought I was supposed to be, and so I made myself miserable (and my family miserable). I put so much focus into trying to be the organized and on-top-of-all-the-cleaning-and-chores because I thought I was supposed to. I have a sister that I adore who is actually like this. She is the most organized and clean person I know, and she likes it. She's good at it! I'm just... not. But I thought I was supposed to be. "This is how I was raised!" And trying to be somebody I'm not was contributing to my depression, big-time.
So, how did/do I change my script? By following the next thing I learned...
Your weaknesses can be your strengths.
An exercise I was asked to do was to look at inconsistency in a different light. How can it be a strength? I had assumed for so long that it was a vile weakness to be shunned and eradicated. Even in church I had learned that to be inconsistent meant I wasn't doing enough. Consistent FHE, scripture study, prayer, etc --are not all those things important? Doesn't the Spirit come because we are consistent? Don't we escape temptation, and thereby sin, when we are consistent? How could my inconsistent behavior be a strength.
So, she told me these words, instead: Flexible. Adaptable. Fun. Spontaneous. Those words don't sound so bad, do they? Maybe instead of constantly seeing myself as inconsistent, I could use the word, "flexible." It's okay that I don't have organization down perfectly, because I have a large family. Every time we add another person to our family, we have to readjust everything! We have all stages of childhood in our home (teen, tween, child, toddler --okay, maybe not infant right now) and that takes a lot of flexibility! We have four schools to juggle. We have a lot of laundry, a lot of dishes, and a lot of paperwork. Little children are demanding and so instead of doing chores, I'm reading books or running kids to the park or library. Some days I choose to clean the house and some days I want to organize. But some days, I just don't. (Like today, ha!). And it's okay. I'm adaptable. I roll with the punches.
Once I saw my weakness as a strength, I realized it was okay being the way I am! My house is mostly clean, and our lives are mostly organized, but it's different from my husband's childhood home, and it's different from mine. It's our own, and it's great!
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I had always been taught that comparing myself to those who had more than me was fruitless. "Keeping up with the Jones's" was the coined phrase, was it not? Don't compare with the rich people because you'll just feel badly about yourself. But Courtney taught me that comparing either way --in any way --does little to help bring joy.
For example, it's easy for me to lament our financial situation because we are not wealthy people. But people assume we are wealthy because of how we choose to spend our money. We have a nice home, we like to travel, and we enjoy eating good food. But because of our true financial state, and because I never want to make people feel badly about themselves, I've always added caveats to everything we have:
"We have this home we love because the seller's asking price was $80K less than she should have asked."
"We have the opportunity to travel because of Brandon's flight miles and hotel points, as well as opportunities because of his work schedule," or "We travel because work pays for it," or "We worked out a way to do it by staying in KOA's and not eating fast food."
"We have a large family, so our food budget is higher," or "Eating healthy costs more because processed food is cheap."
I've always had an excuse for our blessings. I always try to downplay them on the off-chance that somebody might be offended by our good fortune or our financial choices. When I think about it like that, it makes me very sad. I don't need to apologize for blessings, nor do I need to apologize for our choices. Not everyone will have the same priorities and nor can we! We're all different. So, instead of apologizing, I need to be grateful:
"We are so grateful for this beautiful house! "It fits our personality and we have room to spread out."
"We are so grateful for the opportunities we have to travel and see new places! We love to travel."
"We are so grateful we can feed our large family."
Our body/spirit connection is essential.
We were spirits and we came to earth to receive bodies. Together, they make a soul. Our job on Earth is to learn, grow, experience, make choices, and learn to know the good from the evil. We are to learn how to take care of our bodies. We are to learn how to connect our spirit with our body so they can function together in good ways.
Satan hates our bodies because he will never have one. He and his minions/angels/followers tempt us and try to get us to abuse our bodies, to disconnect our spirits from our bodies, and to ignore either our spirituality or our physicality because they're jealous, they hate us, and they want us to be separated from God like they are.
God loves our bodies because He wants us to succeed! We are His literal spirit children and He wants us to become like Him. The Holy Ghost whispers encouragement and teaches us how to individually take care of our own unique bodies. When we listen to Him and do our best to have Him with us (Sacrament prayer comes to mind), then we can have our body and spirit connected. That leaves open a channel to heaven and also gives respect and kindness to the physical body we have been given.
When my spirit and body are disconnected, there is anger, darkness, frustration, loss, bewilderment, abandonment, loneliness, and depression. Satan loves that.
When my spirit and body are connected, I am happy! Joyful, even! I am at peace. When my spirit loves my body and accepts my body, I take better care of my body. When my physical body accepts and loves my spirit, I am open to receiving promptings from Heaven and can make good choices. The connection brings light and love into our home. God loves that.
There is a reason why we work so hard to keep the Holy Ghost with us. We want that connection to Heaven, we want that reminder of where we came from.
When I hated my body, I couldn't connect fully with my spirit. As long as I couldn't appreciate the incredible blessing of a body (I can feel! Learn! Grow! Make babies! Connect with others! Climb! Swim! Laugh!), I couldn't work on what was really bothering my spirit. Once I learned to love my body for it's capabilities, I found my ability to connect with my spirit and The Spirit was much greater. Loving our bodies doesn't mean we have to exercise all the time or accept obesity; it doesn't mean we have to necessarily change our bodies. Loving our bodies just means that we appreciate what a beautiful gift we've been given.
So, there you go! Amazing things I've learned during energy healing sessions. People think energy healing is wonky, but dear reader, they don't know of what they speak. Adding energy healing to my therapy and medication has been amazing! One of the best decisions I've ever made.