Monday, October 05, 2015

From the Archives: June 2006 or Learning From My Past Mistakes

I wrote the post below the line (down there... just keep reading...) on June 10, 2006 --just 6 months after I started blogging.

See the sidebar over there on the right of my first three kids? It's cliche, it's over-used, it's true: Where does the time go??

I love my children so much. They have been so brave (not their choice) while being raised by a mother who can't control her temper, whose rage may have emotionally damaged them forever... maybe? Maybe not? Maybe I'm being too selfish? Maybe they won't be damaged forever? Perhaps their ability to forgive me for my short-comings (yelling) and mental illness (depression and anxiety) means they will be better off than I give them credit for?

I know I've improved drastically since these three kiddos were small. I just wish I could have been a better, calmer, kinder mom for them when they were little. My heart aches (and aches and aches) for those years, the ones I will never get back, if only so I could take those moments and choose kindness first, before I allowed anger a place to reside. I try not to dwell there (the past cannot be rewritten), but remembering helps me to be better in the present. It helps me mother them (and their younger siblings) so much wisely, now.

Love your kids, dear reader! Choose kindness as much as you can. It really does go by so fast! If you have to choose between being right, a clean room, more time to yourself, etc. or the relationship with your child, please choose the relationship. You can still teach responsibility, hard work, repentance, and determination through kindness and calm. Consistency (kind consistency) is actually a better teacher than shouting, any day. Learn from my mistakes!

I thank God every day that my kids are so good and still love me --Heaven knows they have reasons to be disappointed in (and fearful of) me. Aren't children amazing? Their ability to forgive is something I want to emulate. Christ knew what He was talking about when He spoke about children...

Love, Kindness, Calm. Calm and Kind. Calm and Kind. Calm and Kind... (Calm is a funny word when you type it out a lot... ;) )


"#1, #2, #3" 


#1 before her dance recital --the kids got to pick their own outfits and she chose a great skirt and shirt her aunt bought her for her birthday.
#2 doing what she does best...laughing! This was on her birthday several months ago....
#3 --"Oooh! Gasp! Oooh!"
Those would be #3's favorite words in the whole world. :) This face is frequently displayed during the day as he reacts to everything as something exciting, or as new. It's not a bad idea, really....
I sure love those kids...I wish I could show it more....

1 comment:

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

So many things I would say to myself if I could go back to 2006....but since we can't, I'm joining you in trying to learn from my young-mama mistakes. <3