Friday, January 04, 2013

Insert Witty Title Here

What made me depressed this morning:
*Dwelt too much in the past and with "what if's"
*Allowed negative thoughts to overtake my morning, a result of my "what if's"

What made me awesome this morning:
*I changed two poopy diapers without cringing
*I fed my children food without frustration
*I got dressed for the day
*I communicated kindly with more than one person
*I swept up the mess the baby made (because the 3 yr old left his food out where he shouldn't have) without anger
*I read 5 books to the 3 yr old while the baby napped in my arms

-------------------

I had a conversation with a friend about tweens, teens, Facebook, and cell phones. Right now, when my 11 year old asks about cell phones, I say: "We can talk about it when you are in high school." It's not even on the table right now. And when she DOES get a cell phone, it will be a phone. No smartphones, no internet. Why in the world would I place access to pornography, bullying, and pain in the palm of her hand? Literally?

Same with Facebook. She has asked when she can have a FB page. I told her we could talk about it again in high school. Kids don't seem to understand now-a-days that once something is public on the internet, it's there forever. What you say, how you say it, pictures, etc. Heck, most adults don't understand this! Besides, I'm addicted to the time-suck that is called FB. This is not something she needs to have in her life right now (or ever?). I'd rather see her going OUTSIDE and making REAL LIFE friends. (Not that you lovely FB friends of mine aren't real or anything!)

Now I know the benefits of texting with teens. I also know the benefits of a FB page (my husband has been in a youth calling in our church for 10 years; he loves being able to text the YM for service projects and connect with them on FB --keep an eye on them, really. I know YW leaders who feel the same), but the risks are VERY risky.

Btw, my friend with two teenagers agreed.

How do you approach cell phones/FB with your teenagers? What age do you allow them? How old do they need to be?

--------------------

So, I got lazy and stopped making my baby food. Mostly because he was only eating my oatmeal, but hated my other stuff. ("Baby, come on! It's just a mashed BANANA. Nothing else! Eat it, please?!") And one day, while perusing on diapers.com (where I get my diapers/wipes/etc.), I looked at baby food. I found some called Plum Organics. I decided to try it.
He LOVES it.
I love what's in it! It's a little more pricey than regular baby food, but considering the content, that he eats it, and that he'll outgrow it soon enough, I'm sold on it.

------------------

"When there are boys, there will be noise!" I first heard this phrase by Michelle Dugger. I laughed when I heard it because she is so right! (She would know!) But it's crazy how MESSY it is with boys, too. For sure, my daughters are good at making messes, but I truly don't remember them being so destructive with everything. Honestly, when it comes time to sell this house, I'm afraid nobody will buy it, simply because of all the damages made to walls and floors by our boys! Of course, most of the damage has been to our furniture, so, I guess that's good. ??

My good friend just gave birth to her fifth boy. Five boys! She told me that before they got pregnant, she had to get herself into an emotional state that would allow her to be joyful with having another boy. She didn't want to have another baby "just to get a girl," and it was obviously the right thing to do. I went to see her yesterday and her son is just beautiful. It made me baby hungry, and my baby is still a baby!

When I was pregnant with #6, I truly thought he was twin girls. I did! I felt convinced I was having girls, and when it turned out to be one, and then a BOY, I felt so dumb. Part of me thinks Heavenly Father has a really good sense of humor, but then, the other part of me had wondered if I was simply crazy. I have dreamed of my babies before. I have felt inspired. But to be so very wrong?

And so now, I'm wondering if it had been inspiration after all. If we have girls coming. Twins. Or maybe just two more individual births --girls. But then I feel like my friend: I have to be joyful if we have a boy. Or boys. Or nothing. What if we can't conceive again? It's entirely possible. I spent some time with my friend who lost her baby this week (she was 16 weeks along) and we both agreed on the same thing: Life is a miracle and very, very fragile. My heart is breaking for her and her husband, because their sweet son was desired --he had been prayed for for a very long time. He was their first.

Anyway, I'm not overly worried about my future-possible-maybe-children, I promise. It was just something I was thinking about this morning in light of my experiences yesterday.

10 comments:

Raisin4Cookies said...

I agree about the phone issue! Ugh. Murky waters and such. I'm a newly called primary teacher for the 11 year olds, and half the class has smart phones! Sheesh. It's totally unnecessary for a child that isn't even able to drive or go out on his/her own in the evenings.

My oldest is 9 and we send her out to the corner store for milk sometimes. She usually takes my phone with her for those errands. At one point, we had an old phone that had some credit on it and called it our house phone, but it's lost now..... (and I hope hope hope that FB loses its appeal when my kids are teenagers, but I doubt it)

I'm sorry for your friends' loss. :(

jendoop said...

My nearly 18 year old has her own phone with texting, that is internet capable if she has Wifi, and she's on Facebook and I'm friends with her so I watch what's going on.

My 12 yr old has a phone with texting which we've had to work hard to teach her about appropriate usage. 5,000 texts a month was not appropriate usage! We took it away for a week and now she's down to 1,000 texts a month. Which I won't complain about because she puts it away when I ask her to and her teachers (church and school) tell me that she doesn't have it out during class. She doesn't have Facebook, or internet access except on the desktop where I can watch her. No Facebook for her.

I had the discussion about younger kids using Facebook with a friend who said she wouldn't let her daughter on til she's 14, then a month later I got a friend request from her daughter, who is 10. Bummer. They make so many social mistakes as pre-teens, why make them worse my taking it on the internet?

blogging and bliss~ said...

My 13 year old has a phone. She got one at 10 because she babysat for me a lot and we didn't have a home phone. I got her a smart phone this fall. All the only phone phones are crappy. She has text and can use wifi. I read her texts. She knows that i can at any moment decide to read what she writes. I have been on her about using proper spelling and she has gotten in trouble for using bad language...she claimed a friend typed it. I told her it was her phone her responsibility. She is not allowed on any chat rooms or facebook. She has google + that only her 4 friends are members of. I read that too. My sister told me the best thing is to make your kids check their phones in at night and we turn off the wifi. Our kids live in this world we teach them to use this technology for the better and hope that is sufficient.

blogging and bliss~ said...

Also i do not allow my daughter to share her number with tons of people. She knows to only share her number with close friends she can trust.

blogging and bliss~ said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Amanda D said...

My kids ask about phones too. I tell them that they wont need one until they learn to talk on the home phone properly and they are driving. It's likely that we will see a need before then, but like you, it will just be a phone for calling and texting. No internet, no camera.

As for FB, I have told my kids that we will discuss it when they are 13 (FB's rules say you have to be 13), but it has been tempting to let the 11 (almost 12) year old get an account because ALL of his friends have an account. So far, I have held strong. You are right though...it is so easy to get sucked in and spend too much time there.

So sorry for your friend. I can't imagine.

Cheryl said...

Our rule is they get a phone when they go to high school, it will be a very basic phone with no internet access nor picture capabilities. My 13 year old son has an ipod touch that we have turned off the internet as an option. He can text from it. I agree with the other commenter who said we must teach them how to navigate this technological world because it is their world and will be around forever.

Stephanie said...

My sister has told her young teenager that she can have a basic phone after she completes her Young Woman program (It used to be a medallion, but it's changed and I can't remember the name). I think that's reasonable. Plus, it teaches that a phone is a privilege to be earned, not a right.

madhousewife said...

I can't believe you fed your children without frustration. I can hardly feed myself without frustration anymore.

So far my teenager doesn't want a cell phone. She doesn't go anywhere or have anyone to call anyway. We have an extra cell phone that we try to keep charged just in case one of our kids is going somewhere where having a phone would be super-handy--but I don't really trust any of them not to lose it.

madhousewife said...

Oh--forgot: I was dithering over whether or not to have a third child, and then I had this sort of vision-like thing where I vividly saw our family gathered around a new baby girl. I can still see it in my mind's eye. It convinced me that I needed to have another baby. It was a hard pregnancy for me. ("Hard" being a relative term.) When the baby came and he was a boy, I don't think I had ever been so devastated in my life. Because who was this baby??? I had some serious post-partum issues there. And I stopped believing in being inspired to get pregnant. But I did eventually get pregnant again just for giggles and had a girl. As you know. But I don't dream about babies anymore.