Thursday, November 03, 2011

My Brain is All Over the Place

What I love today:

*Reunions with long-lost cousins who weren't really lost, just living a similar busy life.

*Long phone calls with my international life-long friend (literally. We've known each other since her birth; I'm 2 1/2 months older) and my national glad-we-found-each-other-even-if-it-was-via-cyberspace new life-long friend.

*Nice people.

*Furnace companies who get everything replaced and inspected and cleaned for less than 200 bucks.

*Jewelry insurance (I just noticed my wedding ring, and one of my diamonds is missing! It's a small one --not the solitaire --but still...).

*The author Connie Willis.

*Brandon's homemade salsa.

What I don't love today:

*Rowdy neighborhood boys to remind me that I will have a life full of rowdy neighborhood boys. Note to self: Learn to deal.

*A screaming toddler.

*Play dough --the cause of the screaming toddler. Because I wouldn't let him play with it near the carpet. Or downstairs. Or allow him to eat it.

*Giving up my nap for the rowdy neighborhood boys.

*Coming up with something to fix for dinner (it's 5:47PM and I still don't know what to make).

Deep Thoughtage. Or Something:

1. I'm still surprised at people's reactions when I tell them I'm giving birth at home. It's never the same. I've been accused of wanting to kill my child and myself, I've been met with surprise and interest, I've been told I'm brave and special and courageous and strong, I've been pleasantly happy to meet other homebirthers. Irony: the people who know me and understand me and love me the most are the most worried. I find this offensive, because if they knew me, they would know I'm intelligent and do my research. They should be the ones to have faith in me and my decisions. But then again, I am greeted with the most dismissive hostility from people who don't know me at all. So. Whatever.

I'm also surprised how much I don't talk about it anymore. I've come to some conclusions: A. I realize it's not my mission in life to convince other people to make that decision. I'm here if they need information or would like to know why we've chosen home birth, but I'm not going to be a vigilante for something someone may not be interested in. And B. I don't really care about their opinions about me, my body, my baby, my husband, my homebirth choice. They didn't go on my journey with me; they don't know of my experiences. Why would they understand? I'm confident in my decision. So is Brandon. That's all that matters.

2. I want Mitt Romney to win (and I wanted Cain as his VP, but not now), but I don't want to donate to Romney anymore. I've done my share. My next share will be voting for him in the primary. Stop asking me for money! Just because I donated in the past doesn't mean I can afford to donate now. Sheesh.

3. It seems that I'm only of a few who still lie to my children about Santa Claus. Interesting.

4. I will have a daughter in Young Women's in 18 months. I hear it's all a roller-coaster speeding down the track after that --is it okay I feel ready? Weird, but ready? Not scared?

5. I think too randomly now-a-days. What in the world could you comment on in this post, dear reader? You could talk about your teenager growing up too fast, or about how you don't lie about Santa Claus, or how I'm going to kill myself and my child for giving birth at home (in the water, GASP!), or maybe you could talk about how your furnace guy charged you at LEAST 200 bucks!

Or not. I'm okay, either way.

P.S. How I feel about Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving:


Mary said...

Hey, I'm sure you've researched all about this but I'll mention it anyway. Both of my sister-in-laws gave birth naturally via hypno-birthing. I don't know if that would interest you, but they both really liked it! I think you're friends with Rick on f/b if you want to ask him about it since his wife is one of the ones that did that!
I lie to V. about Santa Clause. I'm not looking forward to the year she realizes I've been lieing to her and she now knows the truth. I want her to stay in that innocent, believing in magic stage for forever!

Cheryl said...

Thanks, Mary! But hypnobirthing tends to be one of the first things women try before home birthing. In other words, I've done it. Do it. Kind of my own version of it, but anyway... Thanks for thinking of that, though! :)

Becca said...

I am a home birthed baby (one of three for my mama), and I wanted a home birth with my first, but my husband is ... well, a little less than enthusiastic about my desire to do things my way (I'm also one of those does-my-research-before-making-decisions kind of people... unfortunately my research does nothing to convince him... *sigh* some day...) He thinks that doctors and the medical community are omniscient and omnipotent and we should just do what they say *stifledlaughter* Anyway... just wanted to give you a little encouragement from a mama who will probably always have her babies in hospitals (at least mostly in the conventional way - I will never ever ever have an epidural, but I've had pretty good hospital experiences, so I don't mind them so much, I guess).

can't say much about the other stuff (I love Christmas stuff long before Thanksgiving - but not in the stores. That crap isn't about Christmas anyway - it's about getting your money, so *shrug* I don't ever like Christmas in the stores, I guess)

Amanda D said...

You crack me up.

I still lie to my kid about Santa. I was thinking yesterday that I would post about why I do, so watch for that in the next month or so.

I haven't had our furnace serviced in years. Seriously. It's going to cost us WAY more than $200 when we do.

People that are worried about you doing a home-birth aren't trying to be offensive. We worry about what we don't know. For so long people have been giving birth in hospitals and the unknown scares us.

When you said that about your daughter being a YW soon, I realized that I have a little less than 18-months until Travis will be a deacon. What?! I am not thankful for that realization. It's like they say - the days are long but the years fly by!

nweames said...

As the sister to one of your concerned friends and knowing I am the reason I have to say they may not understand, but it is because they love you and worry about you. My experience (prolapsed cord, baby in serious danger, and emergency C-section in less than 10 minutes) is VERY rare (less than 1%), but nevertheless it happened to me and has scared a lot of those who know me. I have several friends who have successfully given birth at home and it was a wonderful experience. I completely get the idea of sleeping in your own bed and just being home. I also have come to realize that no one I know, including you, would give/have given birth at home unless they did their homework and spent a lot of time in prayer and feel confident of the decision and I also know it wasn't a decision made lightly. While personally I couldn't do it, I admire those that have a desire to do so and wish you all the best.

As for lying about Santa, my mom still "lies" to us. "He doesn't come if you don't believe." My plan is to do the same.

Cheryl said...

I "lie" (prefer tothink of it as creating childhood magic) to my kids about Santa and my 12 year old figured it out on his own, but I told him I still believe in the magic of Santa and he'd better too or Santa won't come visit him. I also threatened him strongly if he evertold his siblings the "truth" before they were ready.

I think anytime we make a choice out of the norm we will get criticism even from those who love us because they are so concerned about us (and your baby in your case) and our well being.

Angie said...

Feeling the same way with #1... it's hard when the opposition is coming from those who should be the most supportive and trust that you, being intelligent and spiritually connected, can make this decision. Frustrating and hard. I trust that you have done your research and feel this is the best decision for you and your family.

Amber said...

I've had so many experiences in hospitals, when I'm trying to do a natural birth, where the nurses or doctors treat me like an absolute idiot for the decisions I've made. My last birth, I had an on-call doctor, who told me he wouldn't let me risk my life by forgoing an IV, even though my regular doctor had already given me permission to do so. He was a horrible horrible man. Thank goodness I gave birth while he wasn't around! Ha.