Okay, this part is going to be a little geeky for some of you and you won't know what I'm talking about, but stay with me. You know that one episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender, when Appa is lost and he finally stumbles upon the guru? And the guru waits --lying still on the ground --for nearly 2 days (3 days?) for Appa to finally trust him? He lies there and lies there and lies there...and then he leaves a trail of fruit for Appa to follow, and when Appa gets to the end of the trail, the guru is waiting for him again; sitting silently in his meditation stance? Just waiting? Patient, patient, patient? I believe it's episode 15 or 16 in Season 2.
Anyway, for those Avatar fans, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. The rest of you will find me strange, but I'm tellin' you --do your whole family a favor and watch this series! One of the best animated series ever created, hands down. It's taught my children about loyalty, friendship, forgiveness, trust, love, sacredness for life, perseverance --and it's all clean, hilariously funny, and a great adventure. We re-watch it all the time!
Okay, moving on!
So, back to the guru. The patient guy. I've thought a lot about it recently. Not necessarily the guru himself (what with him being a character in an animated television series and all), but with the act of patience. Waiting. Enduring. Contentment. You know, that stuff I'm really, really bad at doing.
I don't want to talk about anything specific in my life that requires massive amounts of patience --because, let's face it, there's a LOT of needed patience goin' on --so, let's just focus on patience itself.
Okay, maybe not. I started to type up stuff about patience and I got bored writing it. I guess I'll have to get slightly specific, because we all learn better through personal experiences, right? I mean, there's a reason we connect with stories --Jesus taught through parables, and Pres. Monson teaches through stories. It's not a bad way to explain stuff, eh?
Okay, so why I'm impatient:
#1. Since Brandon received his MBA in May, we've been trying to figure out what we want. Switch jobs? Stay? Move? Stay? The economy doesn't help us much, of course, but we still have decisions we have to make. But I don't want to make decisions. I want them to be done. Now! I want to know what we are doing with our lives, where we are going, etc. you know?
#2. This pregnancy is KILLING me. I have always prided myself on my easy pregnancies and deliveries. I've never had gestational diabetes, swelling, sickness, or complications. Pregnancy has always loved me! Glowing skin! Growing hair! But guess what, dear reader? As you might have guessed already, I'm not really enjoying this pregnancy much. Yes, I love feeling baby move, and I love that baby will be here before March --but! I'm so exhausted. My ankles are starting to swell. My hair is still falling out. My skin is breaking out. I can't think. The yeast infections won't go away. Hemorrhoids started early (although yellow dock herbal supplements have been helping a TON in that area). I just don't like it. I'm so tired! All the time! I should be enjoying this pregnancy to it's fullest (considering we seriously believe it will be our last baby) and loving every minute, but instead I'm becoming impatient. I want it to be over. I want to have my body back. I'd much rather have an infant to nurse right now! I think I understand now --a little bit --how women could hate being pregnant (or at least not like it very much). The worst part? I'm eating so well! Drinking tons of water! Taking my supplements! Eating my veggies! Exercising! Sheesh. It's like I do everything right and I'm being punished for it rather than the other way around. That's irony for ya'.
#3. This is a part of #2, but waiting for my house to be organized and clean --I need to be patient. Until I have the energy needed (which, ironically, I had in Portland --seriously, the adrenaline had me pumpin'! I had a lot of energy during that race), I have to just wait. Try to keep some semblance of working order,yes. But wait more. You know?
I think that's it. It's not a lot of things, but they are hard things for me right now. I understand the need to be patient. To "wait patiently for Him." To prioritize. To keep my eye on the prize. I know all these things. I pray daily for the ability to be patient, but it's HARD.
So, dear reader, how do you exercise awesome patience? What works for you?