Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I Seem to Like February

When I conceived #5, I didn't realize it until AFTER a crazy and embarrassingly emotional breakdown that left my friend feeling really bad. When I realized the hormones had gotten the better of me, I felt sheepish, especially considering that I was upset over NOT being pregnant, when in fact, I was.

Heh. Irony.

In May, I had an ugly meltdown when I discovered I wasn't pregnant again. It was pretty bad. Pretty ugly. Fortunately for me, however, it was okay being upset over not being pregnant because I wasn't. Pregnant, that is. But I find it ironic, again, that I hit my ugly feel-sorry-for-myself walls just when I shouldn't. I bemoan seeing no light just as I'm about to turn the corner of the tunnel where I see that awesome bright light, and I often wonder: when will I learn? When will I stop worrying and complaining long enough to trust the system, to allow Heavenly Father to guide me, to be happy with each day?

In other words, we are expecting! It happened before Hawaii and I'm due in February. I'm not quite 8 weeks, but since I'm already in maternity clothes (!!!) I figured people should know it's not a fluke. Plus, it'll be nice to explain my exhaustion and nausea and aversion to stress as normal, you know?

I met my midwife yesterday, and I'm so happy! She is outstanding and I felt so comfortable with her. I'm very excited about preparing for our home birth.

I'm feeling very grateful tonight for this child growing inside of me. It's been a hard week--emotionally, mentally, and especially physically. Brandon has been gone on business and won't be back until Saturday, and so the house is not exactly up to my own standards. We have people coming to visit tomorrow and this weekend and next weekend, and normally I would be freaking out about the house right now--but! I'm not. I think I've decided that if all I can do at this point is take care of my body and let the house suffer for a short time, then it's okay. I'm just grateful I have a baby coming to our family! I'm grateful I can still somewhat take care of the kids I have. I'm grateful for the blessings that have come when I wasn't looking.

Tomorrow I may be stressed because of the mess, and tomorrow I may be frustrated at my exhaustion and nausea again, but tonight, I'm gonna let myself be happy. Why not, eh?

I'm pregnant!!

P.S. I've already had two babies in February and my birthday is in February. Must be my lucky month!

17 comments:

Amanda D said...

Yay! I'm so happy for you, Cheryl. I hope you feel good! And remember, there is more to life than a clean house!

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

Trust in the system, young one! ;) Loved that idea...need to do that myself.

My favorite quote on motherhood: Good mothers have sticky floors, filthy ovens, and Happy Kids. :)

So, like Amanda says, there's more to life than a clean house. In fact, I've recently decided that if a visitor to my house prefers something to be cleaner, they are welcome to clean it themselves!

Congrats on the new baby! What a lucky little one to have you for a Momma. :)

SHELLS BELLS! said...

I'm so happy for you, congratulations. PS: February birthdays are the best!

siobhan said...

i didn't realize you were planning a hb! cheryl, you will love it! we've had three and wouldn't ever go back unless we truly had to. if you ever need a sounding board, you know where to look! congratulations. :)

Summer said...

Congratulations Cheryl. Have you told the kids yet? I bet they'll be excited. We need to get together after we get back to Utah.

FluffyChicky said...

Oh, hooray! I am so happy for you and Brandon!

Amber said...

I have a million questions. But probably this isn't the best place to ask them. Maybe I'll email you. Congrats!

Cheryl said...

Congrats!

Dorri said...

So happy for you!!

The United Statements of Merica said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! That IS such a blessing!! I'm so happy for you.
xo

Courtney N said...

Yeah! Congrats!

The Pugmire's said...

Wahoo! Congratulations! I was hoping to hear news like this from you. Hopefully you don't feel sick or tired for long.
Love to you!

Julie said...

So so so very happy for you!

flip flop mama said...

Congrats again!

FluffyChicky said...

Hey, I was just thinking that when you get close to your due date, we should have lunch...that should send you into labor... :)

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Congratulations on your news! I'm sorry you're in the feel-yucky stage. Take lots of naps!

Heatherlady said...

Congrats! Babies are always so wonderful. And yippee for home birth! I wish you the very best.

Thank you by the way for your comments on my blog. I really appreciated them. It really has brought me a lot of peace to think that perhaps the situation is different with each baby and woman. We have our agency and I think it still applies in the pre-mortal life. That maybe children get to choose whether that little body is all they need or if they want to return in a different body. So thank you. It helps me a lot to hear from different women.