"Cheryl, thank you for saying that you would like to meet Mary Magdalene."
"Well, thank you for saying she was Jesus' wife; I was thinking that, but I never would have said it out loud!" (too controversial, dear reader)
"It was my husband who said it... I'm probably going to get into trouble for the Viagra comment, though. I mentioned it to my husband during our study this week, but I don't think he figured I would have said it in Sunday School!"
"Ha!"
"But people always assumed back then that if women were barren, it was the woman's fault. But what about the men? They never imagined that there would be something like low-sperm count."
"Well, they did ride a lot of horses..."
"Hahahaha!"
This conversation was with an older woman in my ward who I call our Resident Feminist. And I adore her, love her, and admire her. It's fun to have conversations with her and sometimes hear what she comes up with in Sunday School/Relief Society. Occasionally it's pretty wild and out-there (and I don't tolerate criticizing our leaders), but usually she's spot-on. Love her!!
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I got sick last week. Sick enough that I didn't exercise for 3 days.
I get tired of starting over. Part of me wants to give up already. I couldn't even do a week, let alone 30 days. Yeah, I got sick. I know. But it's so frustrating. It makes me wonder if I really do have any self-control over ANYTHING in my life.
What did I eat this weekend? Sushi (which, normally, isn't bad. But with tempura, cream cheese, etc.?), Chinese take-out (water retention, anyone?), nachos, cookies... yeah, I had my Green Smoothies, but in light of all the other crap...
Sigh, sigh, sigh. More sighing. Some crying, too. Okay, a LOT of crying.
It doesn't help that my children balk at everything I try to do. Green Smoothies? YUCK! Good food for us? YUCK! Candy from dad or candy from the neighbor!? SCARF like we're dying tomorrow!
Supposedly eating healthier gets rid of the sugar cravings. I say "supposedly" because my children binge like crazy if there is ANYTHING with crap in it. Did I say binge? More like turn-into-wild-animals-at-the-sight. And this isn't something I've kept from them. It's not like they haven't had a little treat now-and-again at home or in their lunches. I don't keep them from having things. I'm not an all-or-nothing mom. And yet the binging continues. It's PSYCHOTIC.
And I don't know what to do to change it. I'm pulling my hair out. I guess I should keep them from everything. Maybe it would help. Maybe it would change their cravings.
Another thing that doesn't help is their mother's lack of self-control. Also, the lack of support from EVERYONE. They hear what their uncle says to their mother about her green smoothies. They know what their dad eats for lunch. They aren't stupid. They see what the kids at school eat, what their Primary teachers bring for snacks (which is a whole other post, and yes, I've already complained to the Primary Presidency because HELLO!? I've read the handbook. I've been the PP before --food is NOT supposed to be coming to church unless it's the nursery). They see what is advertised in the grocery store. They know what tastes good, regardless of how it makes their tummy feel later.
It is so frustrating.
I have a friend (okay, you all know Ann) and her kids are fantastic. They've all been vegetarian for years and years and are now pretty much vegan (well, whole-foods) for about a year now. And her kids LIKE veggies. They will CHOOSE them. And they are all the same ages as my kids. And yet I fight, fight, fight my children to eat anything good. And with #1 I'm trying so hard to get her to realize she's FULL. She eats like a horse and I'm so worried about obesity with her.
It's this constant worry with me. I don't want my kids to grow up struggling with their weight like I do and choosing foods that will give them cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. I don't want them believing false information about what nutrition is. I want them to love their bodies and take care of them.
But how in the world can I teach them this if I can't even do it myself!?
Not to be completely repetitive, but this is so frustrating.
Now, I need to sign off because I need to exercise. Yes, I'm starting over. It's better to keep going/trying than to give up. Again. I give up too much. I don't want to do it again.
16 comments:
*Sigh* Wish I could help you there, girlfriend. Don't give up. You'll be fine.
Don't give up. By the end of the week you will feel better about your exercising. Last week was frustrating for me, I didn't get my normal levels of exercise in and when the friday weigh in came, well YUCK! But sat morning I decided to get over it and move on.
I totally understand your frustration with the eating and your kids. I have the same issuses with my daughter. She is always wanting to eat. She thinks that snacks are another full meal. I've had to put my foot down and just say no and ignore the whinning and complaining. The new rule is that when it comes to snacks, they must eat a piece of fruit first. And then if they are still hungry I will give them something small and then they are done till dinner. I've also cut back on their dairy intake, they have way more than they need. My biggest frustration is that I know when they go to their dad's house he lets them graze all day. And alot of their actual meals are fast food or take out. And I can do nothing about it. Makes me want to pull my hair out.
Wish I had some advice for the kids, but unfortunately I don't. Maybe ask other moms what they do that seems to work? I know when I try to eat what I'm supposed to eat, I'm less hungry to eat what I shouldn't be eating, so maybe like Dorri said, say they have to eat something healthy first and then if they are still hungry give them a small treat?? I dunno!
Also if it makes you feel better, I missed two days of the the video workout. And I wasn't even sick. Just lazy! But I jumped back in and will try to be better this week. Just keep on trying!
What works for me & getting the kids to eat veggies/fruits? 1) Have them grow a garden. Seriously. It works. 2) Not make it a battle. I just simply don't have the junky stuff (that is not to say I'm 100% on that, but most of the time - no.) I set out fruits & veggies on the table and they can pick whatever they want and however much they want. With one rule. They have to eat it completely before moving on to the next one. Which means, they have to eat the orange and not just suck the juice out of it. It was a rough few days but my walking away and ignoring their whining finally got through to them that MOM is NOT going to give in on this. Oh - and 3) I have "dips" such as hummus, peanut butter and cream cheese (sorry - my kids need the dairy.) That helps too.
Be patient. Be gentle. With the kids AND yourself.
It takes time to make changes...especially when your kids are older. Maybe you can figure out if there are days or times when they can eat the crap. Maybe it's a fun dessert every Monday night or Saturday's junk cereal breakfast or the 1st Sunday is "cookies for dinner" night. I am trying to find that balance myself. In the past I have been extremely nazi about no sugar in my life, but that was before kids, and I was so much thinner. I'm wondering if I need to go back to something that strict again.
I think there are times when you need to step back and re-evaluate whether something's working or not. Trial and error sometimes is the only way to figure out if you like the way something is working for your family. Growing up, I knew a woman with 6 kids who was extremely passionate about healthy eating. And, it was her daughter who was eating the chocolate bars for breakfast on the way to school after seminary. The rest of us were eating yogurt and scrambled eggs (which maybe aren't the healthiest if you're trying to go vegan), but they're sure a lot better than chocolate. I think it had become a real control issue for the daughter and mom....maybe there's a bit of a kind of happy medium....lots of healthy stuff with some crap thrown in there. It's so hard to raise kids completely outside of a culture.
Best wishes to you!!!! I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and experiences.
I don't think that missing three days of exercise because of sickness means that you gave up. It means you had to take a break and you're back at it now.
I think putting too much emphasis on food and how good/bad for you it is is a problem. (I know it is with me). I think you're kids will be fine. Just be patient!
21 days. That's how long it takes to create a new habit, and with me it takes longer because I miss days in there. You're not perfect (I know, but you're pretty funny) but you're trying. Just pick yourself up,dust off, and get Jillian kicking your trash again (whenever during the day, remember? No time slot absolutes).
I'm trying to get my kids to eat better to. My solution. I threw out the leftover Christmas candy, talked to their dad about not bringing candy home as treats any more and then deciding what sweet things that I was ok with (because I've got a sweet tooth too). If it's easy access, I eat too much. Making cookies with choc chips and whole wheat flour and wheat germ...tasty and better than oreos, plus the kids get to help. Check out Jamba Juice's book at the library. I know it's not all whole foods (lots of sherbets mixed in), but if you can get your kids on board with drinking something that tastes good to them and still has real fruit in it, it's a start and you can slowly add more of what you'd like to see them eating. Sneaky me? Powdered greens in the smoothy with the green lime sherbet. Still sweet. 5 servings of veggies or more.
You're doing great. You're making the change. Write down your successes every day in a place you can see. It's important you see how far you've come.
Maybe you're oldest needs to eat more than the others. I have one child, eats like a bird, the other, like a horse. As long as their getting activity, is it really worth her getting a complex over?
hey, i think you're doing great! keep up the fight
Hang in there, Cheryl! We all have our bumps along the way. Dust off and keep on truckin'...you can do it!
Question...
Do you have to have a super-duper blender to do green smoothies? I'm considering giving them a try, but I don't want (nor do I have the budget right now) to drop major bucks on a fancy blender. However, I don't think sucking down a "chunky" green smoothie sounds particularly appetizing either! :o)
Advice?
Baby steps.
I took Friday and Saturday off, for no good reason except that I really, really, really, really didn't want to do it, and so I let Jillian kick my butt extra hard today - except then on the 2nd set of jumping jacks, it kind of felt like my girly parts were going to fall right out of my body, so then I switched to just letting her kick my upper body and abs really, really well and my lower body went along for the ride - and I kept my girly parts all inside, thank goodness. How does one keep their girly parts inside after birthing 5 babies? I guess I need a Jillian workout that includes Kegels.
You can do it!! and I can do it!!
You're doing just fine. Being sick doesn't equal giving up.
And, as some other commenters have said, maybe it would be advantageous to lay off #1 with the eating.
I have a meal rule that works for us (since all my kids inherited their father's love for bread). They can have one roll with their dinner, then no more until they've finished their vegetables and had enough of their main dish that they feel good. After that, they can have one more roll and that's it.
Snacks are almost always fruit or vegetables for us. No other options besides maybe a piece of string cheese (light).
I try really hard not to fight about food, but to encourage and compliment them on the great choices they make.
And I'm not against some candy every now and then and I love love love ice cream, so that's never going away, and Family Night must have a treat. So we just sort of sneak the treats in at certain times and there's always something to look forward to.
Also, please don't talk to my Primary President. I think it's fun for my kids to have a piece of candy from their teachers. That way, they don't have to complain to me that they never get to have candy. :)
You're doing great. Seriously. You still had your smoothies, which gave you some excellent nutrition. No worries about the other stuff...just move on.
Cheryl, my kids aren't always perfect little veggie eaters, nor have they always been. This has been a LONG road for us. We started it 7 years ago. And it's been a very gradual process. You're kind of jumping right to the end without wanting any of the middle stuff. Change takes time. It takes putting veggies in front of them every day over and over. It takes explaining the health benefits to them and what each type of food does (good or bad) for their bodies. My kids know more about nutrition than 95% of adults. And sometimes that helps them make good decisions about food and sometimes they still give in and eat something bad for them (just like we all do). But then we just move on and try to do better the next day.....just like you're doing.
It's a process, hon. I know you know that. Look at how you're doing now compared to how you were doing when we went out to that Indian restaurant a few months ago. Remember? Hello! You've already come a LONG way. Give yourself credit!
I have a friend that inspires me. One of her favorite quotes is "Never stop starting." I think that applies well here. Also, you need to go read this blog post of hers from a couple days ago.
http://toddnjenifermoss.blogspot.com/2011/01/joy-in-finishing.html
In fact, all women should go read it! It's an easy trap we fall into of only looking at our failings. And it's Satan's way of getting us down. Let's not let him win!!! Celebrate your accomplishments! Your goal was to do a 3-day detox AND YOU DID IT! Celebrate that!
Quick thoughts: I love how Steven Covey talks about how most airplanes veer off their flight plan 90% of time (or something like that) - the trick is getting back to it because then they still arrive at their correct destination. I'm usually off my "flight plan" most of the time, but I'm trying and I keep getting back to it.
We have similar rules to other families: only fruits/veggies for snacks, I only keep sweets in the house that aren't a problem for me, one piece of bread for dinner until the veggies are gone etc. We have a "no thank you" policy where you have to try a bite something even if you don't think you like it. We are all drinking green smoothies - if the kids don't finish for breakfast, they finish them through the day. We had an interesting discussion about what they liked/didn't like about them, and I've tried to respond to their concerns. I think the more you share your goals with them and work together so they feel like they also have some control over what they're eating. I also agree that change takes time...too much change too fast makes my kids dig their heels in. If green smoothies are the most important habit to start right now, then you might wait to introduce other new (and possibly unpopular) healthy habits.
FYI - the new handbook has no official policy on food at church except that it's up to the discretion of each Primary.
I have to agree about the whole treats at church thing. I really hate it. There is little to no candy at our house, and any non meal treats are a rarity around here. So I get SO tired of every Sunday after church hearing about all the candy or whatever they got in class that day. It is literally all they talk about. Sometimes I'm like, I'm so glad we could come to church today so you could get some (fill in the blank) since apparently that was the only thing you got out of Primary today. Ugh.
Two links are on my blog that I think you will really appreciate.
One day at a time. So hard to start over (and over and over, over and over and over again) and not have it all figured out, but wow...these two things helped me gain some perspective, even as so much of my life feels so out of control.
Love you!
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