"Cheryl, thank you for saying that you would like to meet Mary Magdalene."
"Well, thank you for saying she was Jesus' wife; I was thinking that, but I never would have said it out loud!" (too controversial, dear reader)
"It was my husband who said it... I'm probably going to get into trouble for the Viagra comment, though. I mentioned it to my husband during our study this week, but I don't think he figured I would have said it in Sunday School!"
"But people always assumed back then that if women were barren, it was the woman's fault. But what about the men? They never imagined that there would be something like low-sperm count."
"Well, they did ride a lot of horses..."
This conversation was with an older woman in my ward who I call our Resident Feminist. And I adore her, love her, and admire her. It's fun to have conversations with her and sometimes hear what she comes up with in Sunday School/Relief Society. Occasionally it's pretty wild and out-there (and I don't tolerate criticizing our leaders), but usually she's spot-on. Love her!!
I got sick last week. Sick enough that I didn't exercise for 3 days.
I get tired of starting over. Part of me wants to give up already. I couldn't even do a week, let alone 30 days. Yeah, I got sick. I know. But it's so frustrating. It makes me wonder if I really do have any self-control over ANYTHING in my life.
What did I eat this weekend? Sushi (which, normally, isn't bad. But with tempura, cream cheese, etc.?), Chinese take-out (water retention, anyone?), nachos, cookies... yeah, I had my Green Smoothies, but in light of all the other crap...
Sigh, sigh, sigh. More sighing. Some crying, too. Okay, a LOT of crying.
It doesn't help that my children balk at everything I try to do. Green Smoothies? YUCK! Good food for us? YUCK! Candy from dad or candy from the neighbor!? SCARF like we're dying tomorrow!
Supposedly eating healthier gets rid of the sugar cravings. I say "supposedly" because my children binge like crazy if there is ANYTHING with crap in it. Did I say binge? More like turn-into-wild-animals-at-the-sight. And this isn't something I've kept from them. It's not like they haven't had a little treat now-and-again at home or in their lunches. I don't keep them from having things. I'm not an all-or-nothing mom. And yet the binging continues. It's PSYCHOTIC.
And I don't know what to do to change it. I'm pulling my hair out. I guess I should keep them from everything. Maybe it would help. Maybe it would change their cravings.
Another thing that doesn't help is their mother's lack of self-control. Also, the lack of support from EVERYONE. They hear what their uncle says to their mother about her green smoothies. They know what their dad eats for lunch. They aren't stupid. They see what the kids at school eat, what their Primary teachers bring for snacks (which is a whole other post, and yes, I've already complained to the Primary Presidency because HELLO!? I've read the handbook. I've been the PP before --food is NOT supposed to be coming to church unless it's the nursery). They see what is advertised in the grocery store. They know what tastes good, regardless of how it makes their tummy feel later.
It is so frustrating.
I have a friend (okay, you all know Ann) and her kids are fantastic. They've all been vegetarian for years and years and are now pretty much vegan (well, whole-foods) for about a year now. And her kids LIKE veggies. They will CHOOSE them. And they are all the same ages as my kids. And yet I fight, fight, fight my children to eat anything good. And with #1 I'm trying so hard to get her to realize she's FULL. She eats like a horse and I'm so worried about obesity with her.
It's this constant worry with me. I don't want my kids to grow up struggling with their weight like I do and choosing foods that will give them cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. I don't want them believing false information about what nutrition is. I want them to love their bodies and take care of them.
But how in the world can I teach them this if I can't even do it myself!?
Not to be completely repetitive, but this is so frustrating.
Now, I need to sign off because I need to exercise. Yes, I'm starting over. It's better to keep going/trying than to give up. Again. I give up too much. I don't want to do it again.