So, there I was today, sitting in the car, waiting for #4 to come out of her theater class, flipping through the radio stations and I stopped and listened to Miley Cyrus.
But it was "The Climb" and I remembered how Alison Wonderland and I agreed that we liked Selena Gomez and Demi Levato much better than Miley Cyrus, but some of Miley's stuff was okay. And we also agreed that "The Climb" should have been sung by somebody who actually knew what it was like to work hard for what they had. Or was at least 20 years old or somethin.'
But anyway, I was listening to the song and I got to thinking about all the things one shouldn't think about when they are pre-disposed to being depressed or pity-filled or wishing they could accomplish something more in their life. I thought them, anyway. I thought them because I have so many of them. And so many of them are there because of choices I've made in my life.
I made the choice to marry young. I chose to get married and then have a baby at age 22. I made the choice to have five children in 8 years. I've also chosen to live in Utah, to teach piano lessons, to do whatever else it is that I do. I've chosen not to exercise today and not to eat well. I've chosen to whine that the sunshine outside will be short-lived instead of walking outside in the sunshine. Everyday I make choices that affect me, my kids, my hubby, my friends, and my future. And every day I sit and lament about how I don't have what I want. I think about those who have what I want, and I wonder what I can do to get the thing that I want.
My aunt and my two sisters-in-law just ran a marathon recently. They kicked butt. Kicked it! All three of them are in good health and enjoy running, biking, swimming --oh, yeah. Triathlons. They are not just marathoners --they are triathloners, too. Is that a word? No? Anyway, they trained for this. They worked hard for this. And they are awesome! I'm so proud of them.
So, I was thinking, hey! I've done a couple 5K's. Why not train for a 10K? I need to lose this weight and experience has taught me that exercise (regular exercise) is a must. But then I stopped myself because:
A. My shoes don't fit me right and I will injure myself again like I did a couple of months ago. I could buy some more, but we really can't afford that. But maybe I could save for some? Oh, yeah. I'm saving to just buy me some regular clothes that are less than 3 years old. Shoot.
B. The only exercise pants I own have four holes and are so faded they are now purple. But I can still run in 'em. They don't have to be nice. But maybe I could buy some...? Oh, yeah. See "A."
C. The best way to train for a 10K is to start training. I could go at 6AM with the other ladies, but...oh, yeah...my asthma was so bad in the cold air that I had to stop just so my chest wouldn't keep hurting. It took weeks to fix that! Maybe I should wait until Spring. Or is it Spring? This sunshine that won't last is so cruel! I hate it!
Yeah, so my brain is all ramble-like and complains a lot.
But do you see my point? I could make an excuse for every single thing I want. Gardening. Writing. Losing weight. Yes, my kids and my responsibilities hinder some of this personal growth. Yes, it is my own fault. And I'm okay with that --with them. They are my favorite part of myself, so I honestly don't regret having them when I did. So, I guess my point (in a very round-a-bout-I-can't-believe-I-wrote-this-and-have-humiliated-myself-instead-of-making-dinner-way) is that although Miley Cyrus doesn't have the life experience to understand what it's like to have mountains in the way, I like her song. Because it feels like that sometimes. And just climbing up the dang thing teaches me more than anything up on top or on the other side. Or somethin' like that. If you wanna get all sappy.
Oh, hey, does anybody wanna move next door and be my personal trainer? Anyone? Anyone? Hello? Is this thing on?