Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Random Tuesday Ramblings From a Wannabe

So, there I was today, sitting in the car, waiting for #4 to come out of her theater class, flipping through the radio stations and I stopped and listened to Miley Cyrus.
I know.
But it was "The Climb" and I remembered how Alison Wonderland and I agreed that we liked Selena Gomez and Demi Levato much better than Miley Cyrus, but some of Miley's stuff was okay. And we also agreed that "The Climb" should have been sung by somebody who actually knew what it was like to work hard for what they had. Or was at least 20 years old or somethin.'

But anyway, I was listening to the song and I got to thinking about all the things one shouldn't think about when they are pre-disposed to being depressed or pity-filled or wishing they could accomplish something more in their life. I thought them, anyway. I thought them because I have so many of them. And so many of them are there because of choices I've made in my life.

I made the choice to marry young. I chose to get married and then have a baby at age 22. I made the choice to have five children in 8 years. I've also chosen to live in Utah, to teach piano lessons, to do whatever else it is that I do. I've chosen not to exercise today and not to eat well. I've chosen to whine that the sunshine outside will be short-lived instead of walking outside in the sunshine. Everyday I make choices that affect me, my kids, my hubby, my friends, and my future. And every day I sit and lament about how I don't have what I want. I think about those who have what I want, and I wonder what I can do to get the thing that I want.
For example!

My aunt and my two sisters-in-law just ran a marathon recently. They kicked butt. Kicked it! All three of them are in good health and enjoy running, biking, swimming --oh, yeah. Triathlons. They are not just marathoners --they are triathloners, too. Is that a word? No? Anyway, they trained for this. They worked hard for this. And they are awesome! I'm so proud of them.

So, I was thinking, hey! I've done a couple 5K's. Why not train for a 10K? I need to lose this weight and experience has taught me that exercise (regular exercise) is a must. But then I stopped myself because:
A. My shoes don't fit me right and I will injure myself again like I did a couple of months ago. I could buy some more, but we really can't afford that. But maybe I could save for some? Oh, yeah. I'm saving to just buy me some regular clothes that are less than 3 years old. Shoot.
B. The only exercise pants I own have four holes and are so faded they are now purple. But I can still run in 'em. They don't have to be nice. But maybe I could buy some...? Oh, yeah. See "A."
C. The best way to train for a 10K is to start training. I could go at 6AM with the other ladies, but...oh, yeah...my asthma was so bad in the cold air that I had to stop just so my chest wouldn't keep hurting. It took weeks to fix that! Maybe I should wait until Spring. Or is it Spring? This sunshine that won't last is so cruel! I hate it!

Yeah, so my brain is all ramble-like and complains a lot.

But do you see my point? I could make an excuse for every single thing I want. Gardening. Writing. Losing weight. Yes, my kids and my responsibilities hinder some of this personal growth. Yes, it is my own fault. And I'm okay with that --with them. They are my favorite part of myself, so I honestly don't regret having them when I did. So, I guess my point (in a very round-a-bout-I-can't-believe-I-wrote-this-and-have-humiliated-myself-instead-of-making-dinner-way) is that although Miley Cyrus doesn't have the life experience to understand what it's like to have mountains in the way, I like her song. Because it feels like that sometimes. And just climbing up the dang thing teaches me more than anything up on top or on the other side. Or somethin' like that. If you wanna get all sappy.

Oh, hey, does anybody wanna move next door and be my personal trainer? Anyone? Anyone? Hello? Is this thing on?


Jill said...

Can I just copy and paste this to my blog? I feel the same way....every day. If it were in the cards, I would be your next door trainer. It's much easier with a buddy. I hope you can find a buddy....and I hope I can, too. Good luck!

evitafjord said...

My sister-in-law and I motivate each other via Google Chat. It's not perfect, but it's helping. I haven't given up on the Couch to 5k program yet. My sister says that she will travel down to Utah to run the Speedy Spaniard with me in July if I'm ready and I really want to do that - I grew up in SF so the Speedy Spaniard is definitely a t-shirt I'd like to have. I've heard tell that one of the best ways to keep yourself motivated is to register and pay for the race so that you know that you're going to lose money if you don't run it.

On cold/rainy days, make laps around the inside of the house. My kids thought this was super fun/funny. We had quite the parade going.

Save up for the running shoes and then save up for skinnier clothes :-)


Michelle said...

OK, so here's my thing -- I can't run because of a bad neck (and I used to be a runner, so that hurts, literally and symbolically).

But don't forget that there are many ways to do amazing things, and they aren't all going to be the usual things.

I'm not always sure that it's the excuses that stop us -- sometimes it's just the fact that our life will unfold a little differently. And that's ok.

And you probably didn't want preachy, but that's all I've got today. Maybe because I don't want to feel depressed about all I can't or won't do compared to others. But I can rejoice in what I can do and am trying to do. And just cuz it ain't a marathon doesn't mean it ain't cool in and of itself. ;)

Never A True Aggie said...

I think you just need to wait a little bit. I find that the older I get, the more I don't really care about stuff that I used to care a lot about.

Hey, I also agree about Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez. I am really tired of Miley.

Rachel Holtkamp said...

Ok, so I'm not one to just give out advice, willy-nilly, but I wanted to post something, because you always give me AWESOME advice.
Yesterday, in my institute class, I was feeling super overwhelmed with how much I need to change in order to be a better person. It was starting to get to me. I didn't know how I was going to be able to change all of those things, and if I'd really stick to it (I mean, let's be honest, going to the gym vs. taking a nap, no contest, right?). However, on my way home, as I was pondering the whole lesson, I realized that I could work on ONE thing, and try to be better in that aspect. So, take one thing at a time. Pick what is the most important to you RIGHT now. What is the first thing that comes to your mind? If it's to do a 10K, but you're not sure if you can run the whole thing, then WALK it. I don't know how these things work, because I HATE running, and would rather bike, but I hope you understand what I'm getting at. When we look at the whole picture and realize how much we have to change to get where we want to be, then it's super overwhelming. But, if we do "baby steps", we can get there. It took me my whole drive home to realize this. I still have a LONG way to go, and if I sit there and think about all the things that I don't have in my life, or that I haven't been able to have, whether it's because of my choices, or the choices of others, then it's super depressing. We all have those times. However, when I focus on what I CAN and am ABLE to change, however small, I think I can make it.
I hope this made sense! Love ya!

Stephanie said...

I would LOVE to move next door!! but I just bought a house in West Jordan, so I guess that's out. :)

Okay, so you don't have a talent for excersising. That's okay!!!! You have other great talents that we all envy, like your ability to make and keep friends, LOTS of friends. And your musical talents, and your talents for mothering, etc. I think it's pretty cool you're trying to do something that doesn't come easy to you. LOL

TaLaisa said...

I could've written this. Word for word. I feel the same way.

I would love to move next door to you, are you buying?

Oddly enough, even though I've had difficulty meeting my goals, my workout buddies (3 to date) have said that working out with me helped them reach theirs. They've all said that I push them really hard. It would be so fun to work out with you.

Can you have Brandon work on a teleport system that'll carry me from Sandy to Provo in the blink of an eye, you know in his spare time?

And speaking of weight, I stayed the same. I'm okay with it because we had a weekend getaway to Vegas in the middle.

Rebekah said...

I just wish I lived close enough to have you for a running buddy. Maybe some day...

Alison Wonderland said...

I can't move next door to you, the commute's too long, but I'm doing the best I can from here. (Although apparently I don't shame you enough, I'll have to work on that.)

As far as doing things that we want to do, changing our lives etc... I think it's actually a hard question. There is a certain amount (usually a lot) of just needing to buck up and do it but at the same time, there are seasons for things and more specifically, not for things in our lives. For example, I want to write, I love to write but right now I can't, I could be depressed about that, and bemoan the fact, I could kill myself trying to fit in writing time but the fact is that it's not my season for that, I've had one before and I'll probably (hopefully) have one again, but this is not that day. And I've accepted that.

You however, need to exercise.

Cheryl said...

You can copy it to your blog, as long as you admit that the crazy ramblings belonged to someone else so your friends don't slowly walk away with fear in their eyes. :) But seriously, I hope you can find an exercise buddy. If I'm being honest, I have some --but I need one that is at my level. Exercising with those who are WAY above and have nowhere to go is not motivating. It's depressing.

Hey, hey! Maybe I should sign up with you and your sister for the Speedy Spaniard. You are right --once the decision is made and the money is down, it's really easy to get motivated. But laps inside the house, eh? I might have to do that. With stairs.

That's true. Life does unfold differently and there are times when we can do the things we want and when we can't. I loved what you said: "But I can rejoice in what I can do and am trying to do." That, seriously, rocks. I need to remember it.

Ha! I actually agree. I think I forget that time can change perspective and desire.

Totally made sense. I forget that I can't change EVERYTHING at once --I have to do it little by little. So, maybe I could just pick something now. Maybe it will be exercise. Or laundry. Nah, laundry is just awful... ;)

I must come and see this new house! I must! I must!
And of course I'm trying to do something that is hard. I'm a glutton for punishment, dontcha know? ;)

I'll see what I can do with getting Brandon to make that teleport system. Wouldn't that rock?! And maintaining with a trip to Vegas in the middle?! That is awesome, girl. So awesome!

Seriously. Forget TN. You guys HAVE to live here!!

It's true. I know you love me too much to shame me too much, but maybe you better do it more. Because I'm not doing so hot. And I totally get the writing thing. Remember how I proclaimed I was going to be a writer? Yeah, well, yeah. That didn't work out. But it might one day. So, I'm glad you realize that, too.
And yes. I do need to exercise. I do. I really do.

Annette Lyon said...

Glad to see that I'm not the only person who is hesitant to admit they like that song. It has a great message, even if Miley is the one singing it. :)