Right Now

Before drifting off to sleep, I pray for my husband and children. I desire their safety; I pray for their souls. I pray for me --my inability to help them because of my weaknesses. I ask God to comfort my husband in his worry; I pray He can comfort him and bring him work. As sleep overtakes me, I whisper my Savior's name.

I wake up to the sound of incessant whimpering. Crawling-standing, I go to the crib, stopping first to check on the boys. Where is #4? I see him on the floor and put him back in bed, covering his sweet little body with his quilt. #3 is sleeping soundly; I pick up #5 and head back to bed. I nurse.
I sleep.
Two hours later, I wake and see that perhaps I should stop nursing.

Hours later, after my husband has been studying in the living room, the children begin to wake. I am again nursing #5 on the bed; #3 comes in to talk to me. He is cold and snuggles under the covers. We laugh and talk with #5 --I ask him if he ate breakfast. He asks if it is a school day.

All dressed, waiting for their ride to school (a special treat), I let the kids watch TV. In my robe, I eat breakfast, and in my mind, I try to figure out what to do first. Dishes? Change the baby? Shower? Fold laundry? Blog for work?
I settle on the work blog.

I go back and forth in between tasks, never really finishing one or the other. #4 insists on playing together, watching together. #5 insists on being held, on nursing. I move from post office packages to my novel to work reports to blogging. I do some laundry, start the dishes, and begin this post, all the while hoping nobody comes over while I'm in my robe. Husband is in the bedroom, studying, working on finding work, and studying. I try not to disturb him; I try to not be discouraged at my lack of organization. I wander around the house.

I stop. I breathe. Some things are important-need-to-be-done-now. Most things are not.

Later, I will finish the tasks. I will get to the post office, the marketing meeting, the birthday party, the date night. I will shower, finish laundry, help with homework, read, laugh, pray, and comfort. I will feed, tickle, kiss, and listen. In between, I will hope, dream, wonder, plan.

Tomorrow will be more.