Sunday, November 02, 2008


*I started NaNoWriMo 2008 (see button to the right). Man, I'm crazy! I know this because I did it last year. The good news is that I have over 7,000 words written already, and the storyline seems to be flowing. Doesn't mean it's a good novel or anything, though. In fact, it'll probably be bad. Very bad. But that's not the point of NaNo, know...

*I'm tired. DST (Daylight Savings Time) did nothing to alleviate my tired-ness.

*Brandon comes home tomorrow!

*Earlier this week, a family member asked me why I had a blog if I didn't want people to make mean comments. I tried to explain the difference between a private blog and a community blog. The unwritten etiquette is this: If you wouldn't come into my home uninvited and slap me across the face and smear dog poop on my carpet, then why would you do it on my private blog? Community forums are there for people to discuss and debate. Private ones are for narcissistic sharing and the development of friendship. Well, the narcissism ebbs and flows. Am I wrong in this? How do you view private blogs versus community blogs? Do you think I should expect/welcome/allow rude comments from anonymous people?

*Single mothers are Angels and Saints and I will always have a prayer for them in my heart.

*Did I mention I'm tired?


Cristy said...

I think that when we broach controversial subjects on our blogs, we definitely are opening ourselves up for criticism and discussion, but then again, it is on a private blog where usually we are talking to our own personal community of bloggers, so yea, it should be a safe place to have a discussion where people should be courteous and considerate.

I bet you are SO excited for Brandon to come home! Hang in there! Jim was gone last week and it really was hard!

Annette Lyon said...

A public blog isn't a license to abandon all dignity and respect.

And I've never signed up for NaNoWriMo. The timing's always been bad (like I'm in the middle of massive revisions for something else). Maybe some day . . .

Good luck with it!

Amber said...

I generally don't write anything controversial so I don't want anyone leaving negative comments. Period. I agree--this is my personal blog. If you don't like it, then leave.

Fortunately, I love yours and am impressed you're particpating in NaNoWriMo!

Julie said...

I will write a real comment soon. Maybe. But I just had to say that I like your new picture on the title.

Amanda D said...

Let me say that I think that there is a big difference between expecting & welcoming and allowing comments on your blog. Yes, it is a private blog, but it is online where people from anywhere in the world can read it. I think that people that leave comments under an anonymous name that are rude are spineless. They aren't showing you respect, and I think you should expect repspect. I do believe that since it is your blog you are welcome to edit/remove any comment that you want to.

Good luck on your book! You, go!

Hooray for Brandon to be home tomorrow. I'm with you - I don't know how single moms do it.

Weatherspoon Family of 6 said...

We got some horrible comments a few weeks ago when we posted an anti Obama post. I posted it because my sister in law posted a pro Obama one. She got her sister to come to my blog and post a nasty thing. It made us so mad. We all have the right to post what we want. If you don't like it then don't go to that site.
I love you blog and I enjoy all the great posts!
Keep up the great blogging

Susan M said...

I think rude comments anywhere are lame, but especially on a solo blog. Have fun with your novel!

Anonymous said...

I don't think anyone should be smearing dog poop anywhere. If you can't make your point with a civil, respectful comment, then maybe your point doesn't need to be made at all.

So there! :P

Alison Wonderland said...

I agree 100% about single mothers.

Yea, that Brandon's coming home.

And I don't think that people should come here and be rude, although it's a free country and it is a public/private blog so that is their right, it's just... well, rude. And I think that you also have the right to delete their comments, again with the free country nonsense and because well, it's your blog.

That being said I don't know that I would delete negative comments, I'd have to get them first which is difficult when you're just so right about everything all the time and able to phrase things just perfectly as well (Starting at "just" that would all be struck through if this was my blog not your comments section where that's not an option even if I did know the HTML code for it, which I don't, anymore, so consider it so. Thanks) unwilling or too apathetic to write about controversial topics.

I do think that people who disagree should at least have the courtesy to identify themselves but the brings me back to my previous argument about people being rude.

Anyway, if it's too big of a problem you can always go truly private and then the rabble can't get in but then you can't make new bloggy friends so where's the fun in that? Basically, just like in life you have to take the good (making friends with gals like bythelbs) with the bad (gals who identify themselves with fictional characters coming and writing novel like comments) and keep what you want.

Oh an good luck with NaNoWriMo.

And my word verification is momala and I LOVE that! And apparently I did it wrong because now I get to do it again with panse.

Cardalls said...

i choose to have a private blog because my blog is more for my own family history than for discussion. I don't think having a public blog entitles anyone to be cruel and rude. you have the right to delete moderate your little hearts content!

single moms are awesome

have a fabulous reunion with your hubby!

Anonymous said...

Is alison wonderland high?

(I'm just jealous because she never leaves novel-like comments on my blog.)

Cheryl said...

Okay, good. I was afraid I was kind of "out there" with my "Don't be rude on my private blog anonymous people!" stance.

Alison cracks me up! And bythelbs, you should be jealous. Very jealous. Almost as jealous as I am of you! ;)

Ann said...

I think the "rules" are just as you said on a private blog. Well, at least they should be. But you know, there are always those who break the rules. So their punishment is getting their comment erased. I don't see the problem there.

So happy for you that Brandon comes home today!

Yay for single moms!

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

If people want to be rude, at least they shouldn't comment anonymously. That's just cowardice.

Ignore the haters!!

Rebekah said...

I'm just so happy for you! I'm glad Brandon is back today. That means today should be a happy day at your house. :)

brenbot. said...

Just for clarification, I don't think my question was why did you have a blog if you didn't want people to make mean comments. Of course no one wants mean comments.

I think your usage of the term private blog is incorrect. When I hear private blog, I think a restricted blog that only certain people can access. I think you mean to say personal blog (vs community blog).

I think Cristy is right that if you broach controversial topics on a public blog (even personal), you are opening yourself up to criticism. Therefore, I don't think you should be THAT surprised if you have a nasty comment. Can nasty comments be annoying, make you upset, etc. Sure. Is it OK for someone to leave nasty anonymous comments? Probably not, but it happens. I believe there is a way to block anonymous comments.

Also, it sounds like you make a lot of comments on community blogs and its possible that people who disagree with your comments on those blogs follow you to your personal blog. Perhaps you shouldn't link back to your blog? Just an idea. I understand you probably like linking to your blog because people that agree with your comments on the community blogs can then become new regular readers. However, I think this is another reason why maybe you shouldn't be THAT surprised if you receive unwarranted comments on your blog.

Regarding Weatherspoon Family of 6's comment, while I didn't read your or your SIL's posts about Obama, I think there is a difference in writing a pro-post versus an anti-post. It seems like if you were really trying to avoid negative comments, it would be better for you to write a pro-McCain post rather than an anti-Obama one. Just my opinion.

My 2 cents. Well, maybe more looking at the length of this comment.

Mrs. Mordecai said...

I think anonymity often brings out the worst in people.

I've had a couple of rude comments, but generally they're so dumb that I just laugh and delete them.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

just a couple thoughts....

as far as your blog, YOU are the administrator and the delete button is the quickest way to let someone know you don't approve of their comments. Your blog-- you choose what stays and what goes. Everyone has the RIGHT to be rude, but hopefully the self-discipline not to.

And I totally admire single moms too, but my sister said something to me the other day that almost brought me to tears (for her empathy). My husband is gone ALL the time, my kids only see him on Wed. nights and weekends. She said, "you have it worse than a single mom because you never get a break from the kids at all. (at least they have day-care and some kind of outlet at work)" Their job is not easy at all, but it felt so good for her to acknowledge the challenge of being a not-single, but almost single mom.

Lizzie said...

On the show House, one of the characters said something to the tune of (and if I was really cool I'd look up the exact quote, but the thing is, I'm not that cool) all moms are single moms, daddies are just gentlemen callers who pay the bills and play peekaboo for an hour a night. To which I proclaimed "Amen!" towards my television set, which earned me a scowl from my husband, who clocks in at least 2 hours of peekaboo per night. But I still thought it was a funny line.

Annette Lyon said...

Hey, Cheryl--just checkin' in. I e-mailed you Saturday night but haven't heard back. Wondered if I landed in a spam filter or something. :) I'm at annette at annettelyon dot com

Cheryl said...

Check your inbox! Or spam...I did write you on Saturday, but I just re-sent it today. :)

Doh! Yes! I meant "personal" and not "private". My bad. But thank you for the clarification. I hope you realize I mentioned our conversation just because I wanted to get people's views on it, not because I thought your question was wrong. I'm bad at communication anyway, so it's not surprising I could have missed your meaning. Thank you!

I can understand what you mean. And I don't mean any disrespect when I say this, but isn't your husband going to eventually be around? Isn't this a temporary thing? (For some reason I think I remember you saying he was in school, and so therefore, won't he graduate? If I'm wrong, I'm sorry!) And don't you get to have...ahem...relations with the man you love?
Single mothers, especially widowed or divorced, have no emotional/intimate partner with whom to even receive even a simple hug from. For many, their situations are life-long and will not end until death, or until they can find someone else to share their life.
Like I said, I don't say this to take away from your pain or say "see??" but to gently remind you that you still have it better because you still have a man by your side who loves you. And that rocks.