Yesterday, I received a package in the mail from Janette Rallison. I won an autographed copy of How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-boyfriend! How did I win this, you ask? Well, last January? February? I entered her most embarrassing moment contest.
And I won!
But I won during my blogging/internet-crashed break, so I forgot to share this exciting news with you, dear reader. My apologies!
The winner was supposed to win her new book (well, it was new last February), Revenge of the Cheerleaders, but I already had a signed copy, so she let me choose another one of her books. Hooray! Have you ever read Rallison's books? No? I guess that makes sense --she writes teen romance comedies (with some seriousness thrown in), and so the demographic doesn't usually include 30-something SAHMothers. However, I have loved her books! They are clean and fun; I have honestly enjoyed every single one of them. I can escape back in time to life as a teenager when --much to every teen's chagrin, I'm sure --everything was much, much, much simpler. Remember how we thought life would get easier? Remember? Yeah, that was hilarious.
Anyway, go check out Janette's books. Or her blog. Or both!
Wait, what?
You want to know what my most embarrassing moment was?
Really?
And you're too lazy to link over to read it on Janette's site?
Fine. The things I do for you, dear reader! Here is the moment in all it's glorious details. And for the record, I want you to know that the following is completely true to the best of my knowledge. It really happened! I didn't make it up just so I could win Jannette's book --although, now reading it again, I certainly wish I had...
When I was a senior in high school (at least 11 years ago, give or take a few months), I had the privilege of being voted as one of the representatives of our youth government group. This was good, because it meant a trip to our State Capitol (which was Boise. Quick, what state am I from? Anyone? Anyone?). Hundreds of high-schoolers from around the state took over the Capitol building in mock Senate, House of Representatives, and Judicial sessions.
It was great! We passed our fake laws, voted, created caucuses, etc. For two days, our lives revolved around debates, the mock "media", and seeing which high school had the most controversial bill. I happened to be in the House of Representatives. I had borrowed my best friend's incredible "power suit" for the occasion, and I did a pretty good job debating for and against various bills in front of hundreds of peers and dozens of teachers.
On the last morning of bill-passing, one particular bill came up for debate that caused quite a stir. It was a bill wanting to put condom machines in high school bathrooms. Both sides were very heated. As a conservative virgin (and yes, this is important to note), I was against the bill. I heard several people stand and declare that it was about freedom of choice and/or preventing pregnancy, since "everyone will do it anyway". One person against the bill stood and spoke about how "30 STDs could still pass through a condom", etc.
Fired up by the debates, I stood up. "Mr. Speaker!" I yelled. "The House recognizes so-and-so from whatever!" (that's me; and no, he didn't say "whatever", but I digress). I stood up and said: "Thank you. I rise in negative debate. As Representative So-and-So stated, over 30 STDs can still pass through a condom. See, Condoms do not necessarily make sex any better....wait...wait..." My mind went blank. What did I just say?
Soon the entire room was roaring with laughter. The teachers, some of whom were listening via microphones in the other room, were laughing. The audience up in the balcony (consisting mostly of high school students from the Senate and Judicial Court) were laughing. I finally realized what I had said and yelled "Safer! I meant Safer!" And then sat down, completely humiliated. Luckily, I had a sense of humor and could laugh with them --even when some started calling out "How do you know!" Oh, the joy.
And just for the record, the "power-suit" I borrowed was Becky's! I swear, I borrowed her clothes a lot. Also, if I remember correctly, Julie? Weren't you there? In Boise? I could be remembering wrong...Hmmm...
So, dear reader, what is your most embarrassing moment? If you've had too many, pick one to share!
18 comments:
Ah, good times at the capital for mock legislature. Though, when I went 20 years ago, no one would have ever introduced such a bill. Thank goodness for me, I didn't have to announce how I felt about sex to the state...
But as a married adult ordering drinks for myself and my girlfriends, I announced we were all virgins. I meant, virgin drinks. We're all married! But, I mean, we were virgins, once! I mean...
My friends still tease me about that one. It was pretty good.
I read that over at Janette's blog before I followed yours! I had no idea that was you. (I laughed my head off when I first read it.)
And I agree--Janette's books are awesome. When I was reading "All's Fair in Love, War, and High School," I laughed so hard I cried, and hubby thought something was horribly wrong. No--I was just laughing myself into fits over her book.
My whole life is one big embarrassing moment. How can I choose just one? It's like asking which of my children I love best.
Can 30 STDs really pass through a condom? Yikes!
Bythelbs-
I doubt it. It was just probably some stupid statistic a kid rattled off to sound smart. :)
Annette-
Ha! You didn't know it was me! And I've laughed that hard at Janette's books, too. They are too funny!
Rochelle-
I love the virgins story! That's hilarious. :) And yes, mock legislature had gotten pretty liberal; I'm sure it's even worse now!
I walked out of my house a couple of weeks ago rushing to go somewhere, running around the car getting kiddos buckled and stuff in the car. I'd been out there at least 10 minutes and plenty of neighbors were around when my next door neighbor came up and told me my skirt was tucked into my undies in the back...ahem. And most of my neighbors have not seen undies like mine.
Blogger ate my comment.
I've had some pretty traumatizing embarrassing moments. One of the worst, recently, was when I had to go to jury duty and explain in front of 50+ strangers how many people in my family had served time in jail and what for during the jury selection process.
At least it got me out of jury duty.
Awesome story. I'll have to check out her books. They sound like they're right up my alley.
I don't have anything to share. I can never think of embarrassing moments. I think I try to block them out. That is a great story. :)
Cheryl - I was there! I wish that I could say that I remember this (I was the parlementarian in the House that year, so I totally would have been in there). Alas, it has been forgotten - along with many of my own horrible embarrasing moments from High School (thank goodness). Unfortunately a few still haunt me ...
Oh that is just funny!
I'm so glad you have a sense of humor about these things. I just really don't. It's sad, really.
Cheryl, great story!!! Sorry it was non-fiction!
I disagree. Condoms make sex or at least the cleanup afterward a lot better. For me. (Too bad Sean doesn't agree.) Is that too much information?
HAHAHAHA! That is hilarious!!
Such a great story. You know, I did something very similar to this in high school called Girls State, but I have almost NO memories of it. Maybe something traumatic happened there for me too and I've blocked it all out! Have a great thanksgiving.
hahahah!
I know what state you're from too. Aren't I a genius? :)
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
I'll be.
I was in Idaho, gee, more than thirty years ago (I graduated in '73 from Mtn Home).
A wonderful state in many ways.
I don't know how I missed this! So funny. Congrats on winning the contest. I just read "It's a Mall World..." of hers and I loved it. Now I'm in "Ex Out of Ex-boyfriend." Thanks for the recommendation!
Post a Comment