Yesterday, I received a package in the mail from Janette Rallison. I won an autographed copy of How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-boyfriend! How did I win this, you ask? Well, last January? February? I entered her most embarrassing moment contest.
And I won!
But I won during my blogging/internet-crashed break, so I forgot to share this exciting news with you, dear reader. My apologies!
The winner was supposed to win her new book (well, it was new last February), Revenge of the Cheerleaders, but I already had a signed copy, so she let me choose another one of her books. Hooray! Have you ever read Rallison's books? No? I guess that makes sense --she writes teen romance comedies (with some seriousness thrown in), and so the demographic doesn't usually include 30-something SAHMothers. However, I have loved her books! They are clean and fun; I have honestly enjoyed every single one of them. I can escape back in time to life as a teenager when --much to every teen's chagrin, I'm sure --everything was much, much, much simpler. Remember how we thought life would get easier? Remember? Yeah, that was hilarious.
Anyway, go check out Janette's books. Or her blog. Or both!
You want to know what my most embarrassing moment was?
And you're too lazy to link over to read it on Janette's site?
Fine. The things I do for you, dear reader! Here is the moment in all it's glorious details. And for the record, I want you to know that the following is completely true to the best of my knowledge. It really happened! I didn't make it up just so I could win Jannette's book --although, now reading it again, I certainly wish I had...
When I was a senior in high school (at least 11 years ago, give or take a few months), I had the privilege of being voted as one of the representatives of our youth government group. This was good, because it meant a trip to our State Capitol (which was Boise. Quick, what state am I from? Anyone? Anyone?). Hundreds of high-schoolers from around the state took over the Capitol building in mock Senate, House of Representatives, and Judicial sessions.
It was great! We passed our fake laws, voted, created caucuses, etc. For two days, our lives revolved around debates, the mock "media", and seeing which high school had the most controversial bill. I happened to be in the House of Representatives. I had borrowed my best friend's incredible "power suit" for the occasion, and I did a pretty good job debating for and against various bills in front of hundreds of peers and dozens of teachers.
On the last morning of bill-passing, one particular bill came up for debate that caused quite a stir. It was a bill wanting to put condom machines in high school bathrooms. Both sides were very heated. As a conservative virgin (and yes, this is important to note), I was against the bill. I heard several people stand and declare that it was about freedom of choice and/or preventing pregnancy, since "everyone will do it anyway". One person against the bill stood and spoke about how "30 STDs could still pass through a condom", etc.
Fired up by the debates, I stood up. "Mr. Speaker!" I yelled. "The House recognizes so-and-so from whatever!" (that's me; and no, he didn't say "whatever", but I digress). I stood up and said: "Thank you. I rise in negative debate. As Representative So-and-So stated, over 30 STDs can still pass through a condom. See, Condoms do not necessarily make sex any better....wait...wait..." My mind went blank. What did I just say?
Soon the entire room was roaring with laughter. The teachers, some of whom were listening via microphones in the other room, were laughing. The audience up in the balcony (consisting mostly of high school students from the Senate and Judicial Court) were laughing. I finally realized what I had said and yelled "Safer! I meant Safer!" And then sat down, completely humiliated. Luckily, I had a sense of humor and could laugh with them --even when some started calling out "How do you know!" Oh, the joy.
And just for the record, the "power-suit" I borrowed was Becky's! I swear, I borrowed her clothes a lot. Also, if I remember correctly, Julie? Weren't you there? In Boise? I could be remembering wrong...Hmmm...
So, dear reader, what is your most embarrassing moment? If you've had too many, pick one to share!