On Saturday, we were in Idaho (you probably already knew that). The reason was for my baby brother's Open House, and it was a great ol' shindig. I was the unofficial photographer, but since you already saw loads of wedding pictures, I'm leaving you with just two snapshots: The happy couple and #4 trying to drink Great-Grandma's homemade Angel Food Cake:
I think it might be interesting to note that all four of us (my siblings) had our Reception or Open House in the same Stake Center, had the same food served (homemade angel food cake with strawberries and ice cream/whipped topping), had the same helpers in the kitchen (my parent's closest friends), and had the same woman play the background music on the piano (my mother's co-worker). Isn't that kind of trippy?
Oh, and I'm very happy for my brother. He's married a fabulous girl, and I feel lucky to have her as a SIL.
Other Rambling Stuff:
So...how are ya'?
I'm actually doing okay. Not perfect; just okay. I've been reflecting a lot on my bouts of depression and the hold they have on me, and yesterday, I confessed to a friend that I really don't want to feel this way anymore. As if it was a revelation or something, which, of course, it's not. But I think I'm thinking of it in a different way --not so much that I'm sad all the time, but more as the inability to be motivated. For example: We have wanted to paint our Master Bedroom for months now. We have been sleeping on a mattress on the floor, with our shelves and nightstands in the kids' rooms. All of this was going to be temporary until we could strip the left-over wallpaper, sand down the walls, prime the walls, paint the walls, and install new carpet. Oh, and get new drapes/blinds over the windows. Well...none of this has happened. Most days, I'll psyche myself up and be "Today, I will strip off half the wallpaper!" and then I never do it. Other days, I'll declare a goal to have it done by...say...July 31st. "But it's August," you say. Yeah. Exactly. Then I think that perhaps I will finally unpack the computer room/office in the basement and put everything away, or that I'll finally get around to weeding all the flowerbeds in the backyard, or that I'll finally be strong enough to go through all of the kids' clothes and purge, purge, purge. Same with their toys --purge, purge, purge. Well, the only thing being purged around here is my confidence and motivation.
Sometimes I blame it on the heat. It's too hot to weed and organize! Other times I blame it on summer vacation. We've been going, going, going, and no time to recover! Most recently, I've been blaming it on the children. I can't do anything with them around! Truth is, I know these are just excuses. I know the kids know how to work, I know my summer vacations haven't been that long, I know the heat is the lousiest excuse because we have...ahem...air conditioning. And the office is in the basement.
So, I continue to twiddle and justify, mope and mourn, sometimes using a burst of energy here and there to accomplish the important tasks: making dinner (chicken nuggets, anyone?), teaching piano lessons (ooh! Another cancellation! Yippee!), doing laundry (didn't say it gets folded!), bathing the kids (at least once a week), praying (in the shower, in the car, while drifting off to sleep), reading (life without reading is no life at all!) and blogging my brains out (gotta have a creative outlet somewhere, eh?). Meanwhile, that motivation and confidence --that part of me I love the most --is slowly building back up. Maybe? I hope? I honestly think that she'll show up again--hopefully soon!--and take me to the place I was meant to be --organized, refreshed, peaceful, and happy. Very, very happy.
Hey, so do you ever find yourself wondering where yourself went?