After you get married, the big choices are not easily made. There are two lives affected; two lives that must be validated. Have, let's say...four children? The choices get even harder.
It's not enough any more for the breadwinner of the family (a.k.a. my wonderful hubby) to just make a decision based on what he wants to do. He has to take into consideration the happiness and desires of his wife and the welfare of his children. Then add to that the current trend (over the last 20 years) for careers to shift and change throughout a work-life; gone, it seems, are the days when a person would choose one career --one company --and stay put for 40 years.
For example, look at...say...us! Brandon currently has two companies vying for his skills; two companies that would give Brandon the experience he needs to go far in his career and give him a chance to continue his education. Both companies are solid. Both companies would pay well. Both companies offer good things. Both companies are on opposite sides of the country. And if Brandon only had to think about himself, his decision would be easily made. He would go where it would benefit him the most long-term. (After praying about it, of course!).
But you see, he can't. There's this very loud buzzing in his ear, and it's coming from the anxious and impatient mouth of Cheryl. Every once in a while he also hears the sweet sounds of his dependents, voicing an opinion here and there (not surprisingly, those change almost daily--as well as the Cheryl-buzzing). And darn it, that's the way it should be! Brandon knows! --I know! We know that this decision is not going to be based solely on what would be best for one person; it has to benefit all of us, even if only a little bit. Which has made for a lot of praying in our home on this subject, by all residents.
I don't envy Brandon's responsibility. I have chosen not to have a career for this very reason (and the fact that I have absolutely no business "sense"). I love bringing in extra money teaching piano lessons and getting my many novels published (hmmmm...maybe I should actually work on that), but I'm so glad that the responsibility to keep our family in a home and fed belong to him. Someday that could change (hey, I'm all about unpredictability, baby!), but for now, I'm grateful to him for taking the pressure. I couldn't hack it. But I'm more than happy to be his support system. And his Buzzer...
[Besides the Holy Ghost (the ultimate Buzzer!), who fills the role of support in your life? In your marriage? In your relationships?]