After you get married, the big choices are not easily made. There are two lives affected; two lives that must be validated. Have, let's say...four children? The choices get even harder.
It's not enough any more for the breadwinner of the family (a.k.a. my wonderful hubby) to just make a decision based on what he wants to do. He has to take into consideration the happiness and desires of his wife and the welfare of his children. Then add to that the current trend (over the last 20 years) for careers to shift and change throughout a work-life; gone, it seems, are the days when a person would choose one career --one company --and stay put for 40 years.
For example, look at...say...us! Brandon currently has two companies vying for his skills; two companies that would give Brandon the experience he needs to go far in his career and give him a chance to continue his education. Both companies are solid. Both companies would pay well. Both companies offer good things. Both companies are on opposite sides of the country. And if Brandon only had to think about himself, his decision would be easily made. He would go where it would benefit him the most long-term. (After praying about it, of course!).
But you see, he can't. There's this very loud buzzing in his ear, and it's coming from the anxious and impatient mouth of Cheryl. Every once in a while he also hears the sweet sounds of his dependents, voicing an opinion here and there (not surprisingly, those change almost daily--as well as the Cheryl-buzzing). And darn it, that's the way it should be! Brandon knows! --I know! We know that this decision is not going to be based solely on what would be best for one person; it has to benefit all of us, even if only a little bit. Which has made for a lot of praying in our home on this subject, by all residents.
I don't envy Brandon's responsibility. I have chosen not to have a career for this very reason (and the fact that I have absolutely no business "sense"). I love bringing in extra money teaching piano lessons and getting my many novels published (hmmmm...maybe I should actually work on that), but I'm so glad that the responsibility to keep our family in a home and fed belong to him. Someday that could change (hey, I'm all about unpredictability, baby!), but for now, I'm grateful to him for taking the pressure. I couldn't hack it. But I'm more than happy to be his support system. And his Buzzer...
[Besides the Holy Ghost (the ultimate Buzzer!), who fills the role of support in your life? In your marriage? In your relationships?]
12 comments:
We moved several times growing up, with the same company. We just got transfered a lot... oil business) I noticed how my parents always went into it very pray fully, always asking God where they should be in order to serve HIS best interests. My parents always knew they were where they were supposed to be. My Mother, a Canadian, hated Texas. It was Hot, Humid, she loved the outdoors, and was thousands of miles from anyone she knew. But their was no doubt in her mind that that was where she was supposed to be, down to the very Ward and Stake. I've followed their example and said the same type of prayers with the move we just made. It was obvious to me that the Lord directed us to this specific location to suit his purposes, which in the end, are best for us anyway. Good Luck! I know wherever you guys go, you will survive and thrive!
You have a tough decision to make, but I have no doubt that you will make the right choice. Good luck and keep us posted!
Good luck! Kudos to Brandon on the two jobs.
What makes us want to grow up so bad when we are kids?
Well, whatever you decide, decide with the aid of prayer says me. :)
By the way, just where "clear across the country" are these two jobs?
summer-
I'm not at liberty to say, but please see my poll to the right... :)
Never fails for me....Prayer, Temple, more prayer. With the Detroit decision I was totally against it, until we went to the Temple. Then I just had this calm feeling that it was the right thing and that everything would be ok. In the end, I still don't always know for sure what was the right decision, but hope that Heavenly Father will help us regardless, and so far, he has and I am sure he will continue to do so. Hey, if it helps and you are considering Indiana, housing is cheaper. :)
Good luck!! Keep us posted on your decisions!!
I have no doubt your family will be lead in the right direction. Blessing!
Avoid Boston at all costs. The place is a cold, falling apart pit that's proud of its falling apart. It's extraordinarily expensive as well.
Just my two cents. There's a lot of history there, but the cold, it's wicked bad. (plus, they say wicked).
Cheryl, First of all I know what you guys are going through (to a point... I was the kid, not the wife, which I'm sure is a bit more stressful being the wife) ... but my dad went through several jobs while I was in high school and college. It wasn't easy and there were some scary times, but our family had to pull together and we grew closer through it all. You have such a great attitude (although I'm sure it is still stressful) but that positive attitude along with the spirit will makes it so much easier!
Even with Scott going to be a doctor, doesn't guarantee a secure job anymore either. We talk about that sometimes and try to think what we would do. Right now he's just a student and we're accumulating debt like crazy... so we're just hoping I won't have to work to pay it off in the future, but you never know.
Also, I'm glad you left your comment on my blog about RSV... it made us think and look into what we were giving Katie... turns out the inhaler is albuterol (which doesn't have steroids in it, thank goodness). But we now have a list of questions to take into the pediatrician, that we hadn't thought about before, at our next visit on Wednesday. Thanks!
I guess it's a good thing that Brandon has so many choices! I hope that you guys can work out what is best for you and your family. Good luck.
How is living in the van down by the river beating CA?
OH! maybe the van is by a river in CA.
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