To my future son-in-law:
I'm really sorry.
I don't think you ever had a chance.
I love my daughter, #2, but she is one heck of a negotiator. And, guess what? You're going to lose every time. She is now only four and a half. We just got home from tithing settlement with our bishop. The bishop had candy on his desk for visiting children. Here is a summary of the conversation:
#2: "Oooh... Mom, can I have more than one?"
Mom: "No. Just one."
#2: (to the bishop) Can't I have more than one?
Bishop (looking to mom for approval). Sure. You can have two.
#2: (to bishop, realizing he gave in WAY to easy) Can I have three?
Bishop (looking at Mom who is shaking her head): Uh... no. Two.
#2 browses through the various pieces of candy, and picks out a tootsie roll, a Jolly Rancher, and a Laffy Taffy.
#2: (to everybody) Hmmm... I just can't decide. Can I have three?
Mom, Dad, & Bishop (in unison): No.
#2: But I can't decide! Can't I have three?
Dad: No, #2. You can have two. Pick them.
#2: Hmmmmmm. (Taking a long time, hoping that conversation will resume and everybody will forget that she has three pieces of candy in her hand.)
Dad: #2! Either you pick two before I count to three, or you will get ZERO. One... Two...
#2 puts all three down back in the pile and says "Hmmm.. I really can't decide." [She's now stalling until she can come up with a new tactic.]
#2 (after a few seconds): Can I eat one now, and then take two?
Mom & Dad: "No!".
Bishop is laughing now.
#2 (staring at a large stack of candy): "Can I take two, and then come back later and have more?"
Mom & Dad are trying really hard not to laugh.
Bishop: "Yes! You can come back to my office next Sunday and have some more candy."
#2 thinking... "Can I eat one now, and then take two?" (Obviously hoping we forgot this tactic.)
Mom & Dad: "No!"
#2: "Okay, I'll have two then and come back on Sunday."
She's four years old! I think I need to get her into sales soon. So... sorry dude. She's going to look at you with her pretty blue eyes, and she's going to smile and show her dimple. If she's like her mom, she's going to have a smokin' hot figure. By this time, you're already going to want to make her happy... and it will be too late. She will have you right where she wants you. Wrapped around her pretty little finger.