Tuesday, June 05, 2007

One day at a time...

  • Went to a fabulous and fun A's game on Saturday night. We enjoyed the Bay Alarm booth (DH's company), the D.A.R.E. booths, the $1 hot dogs, family (L and P and their kids!), and the amazing fireworks show from the field. To top it off, the A's won!
  • Spent all of Saturday "day" cleaning the house. As a family. Together. No! I'm not kidding!It was DH's idea (man, he amazes me sometimes!) and we cleaned the house from top to bottom; the kids helped us, we helped the kids, etc. It was very nice to have a clean home Sunday morning. I think DH finally realized that even the simplest of household tasks (doing the dishes? Dusting?) was overwhelming for me. So now, after he has taken the initiative, we're trying something new. We're helping the kids make their beds each morning; they have to clean their rooms and the play room before we leave for the day or go to bed each night. We help them a little bit, but no more backing down! In the past we've let them get away without cleaning up after themselves. Or I turn into a psycho lady and create contention for us all. Instead, DH and I are going to just deal with the fact that if something needs to get done, we need to hover a little bit (not too much, but just enough.) So far, so good! We've been at it for only 4 days now, so you never know. Just 17 more days to make it a habit. :)
  • I woke up to a bad day Sunday morning. I was in a terrible funk. I didn't want to go to church. I hadn't gone to our ward in 2 weeks. Nobody would miss me for a 3rd. But then I knew that was ridiculous; I had to go. My kids wanted to go. DH has his own responsibilities with his calling; I needed to go. And boy, am I glad I did! It was fast and testimony meeting. The majority of testimonies shared were about overcoming adversity and being grateful for our trials. Once again, in RS, the lesson was on avoiding the temptations of Satan and overcoming them. One sister talked about how depression can be greatly increased by Satan and how he gets in there and makes it worse; how we don't seek for help because we don't think we need it/are worthy for it. By the end of the lesson, my heart was burning so deeply with the need to bear my testimony. I ended up being the only one who had time to bear my testimony at the end of the lesson --and it was so wonderful to be able to share with the sisters of my ward how hard my life has been recently and how grateful I am that I have the Gospel in my life to help me. I think more then sharing those things, though, was how good it felt to have the Holy Ghost touch my heart again. I've felt so hollow the last few months, and this experience reminded me how greatly I need the Lord. (of course, after the meeting, several women came up to me to express their understanding because of their own depression. It was comforting to know I'm not alone. I even got a therapist recommendation!).
  • DH gave me a blessing Sunday night. We had the children watch so they could understand how the Priesthood can work. They've never really had an opportunity for Father's blessings (except #1 when she started school last year), and so it was good for them to see their father being able to give their mother a blessing (and see that he was worthy to do so).
  • I got a calling!! I GOT A CALLING! I can't say what it is yet, but I am so excited!
  • Friday I went running/walking (okay, mostly walking) with my friend H. She kicked my butt! And it was her "down" day (she's training for the St. George marathon). Monday I walked with my friend C and did pilates. This morning, I went running/walking and did pilates all on my own! This exercising thing is fabulous.
  • I've prayed every morning for the last 3 days. I'm so angry at myself for letting this habit slip!
  • Yesterday #4 had a dr. appt. His pediatrician is way into vitamin supplements and the like, and so she helped me decide what would help with my depression but would be safe for #4 (since he still nurses full time). She was fabulous! The only down side to that appt. was the vaccinations #4 got; he's having some reactions to them. Not bad ones, but he's more cranky than usual. Poor little guy. :(
  • My sister sent me pictures of my nephew yesterday. He's growing up so fast! He's a little boy now; I sure miss them. Logan is too far away.
  • Ten year reunion is so close! Luckily, it's going to be fun! Sadly, hardly anyone is coming.
  • #1 is almost done with her first year of school. I can't believe she'll be in first grade next year! And #2 will be in preschool. ~sigh~ I love that they stay busy and are in class (I'm not one to cry when school starts) during the day, but boy, they sure are growing up too fast, eh?
  • If I stick to my new mantra (see the title of this post), I know I can make it through this fog. A few weeks ago I felt like I was drowning. Now I feel like I'm floating. This is a huge difference. I'm not expecting for it to be "cured" right away (and perhaps it will never be really cured). Like my asthma, I know this is something that I will need to work on for the rest of my life. If I can stay ahead of the symptoms, treat my body and mind right, then I know I can be happy.
  • One day at a time... :)

4 comments:

Cristy Welsh said...

Hi Cheryl! I didn't know you blogged!!! Welcome to my world.... :) We sure miss you around Grandview! I was so happy to get your card today.

Sounds like life is trucking ever onward for you guys! Sorry about the PPD. I had it a bit with Will, luckily not really with the second. The problem with depression is that it seems like once you've had it in life, it is so easy to slip into that dark area again! Deny the Dark Cheryl! Everyday! You MUST find joy, EVERYDAY! No matter how small or minimal it might be. This is advice for myself too... Sounds like you are making good choices to move forward. Stick with it and you'll be great! It gives me some strength to know that Cheryl the almighty powerhouse struggles too! I thought it was just me.... :)

Miss ya! Cristy

Cheryl said...

CRISTY!!
Yay! I've been blogging forever, girl! I just checked out your blog, and I have to tell you that you'll be in my side blog from now on.

Thanks for thinking that I'm an "almighty powerhouse" --I laughed at that. :) Nah...you're sweet, though.

I love that saying...I'm going to have to add it to my other mantras; Deny the Dark! Thanks so much for writing!

Amanda said...

Sounds like you are making great progress. I enjoyed reading about your relief society. It does seem that Satan grabs our weaknesses and pulls us down further. Keep in mind that when we feel like we can't/shouldn't pray is when we need to pray the most.

Where did you graduate school? This should be my 10-year reunion but I haven't heard of one so I assume that my HS isn't doing one. It sounds like our kids are the same ages. My oldest just finished K and my second will be in pre-k next year.

Good luck! One day at a time... is what we all need to remember!

Cheryl said...

amanda-
My oldest is also just finishing Kindergarten. I graduated from Blackfoot High School in Idaho. Go Broncos!

Thanks for the reminder about praying when we don't feel like it. I know the same goes for going to Church, the Temple, doing anything remotely spiritually realted, etc. :) :)