Because You Obviously Don't Know Enough About Me

Fifty Questions (and answers):
I got this from Susan M and I decided to play along. Probably because I'm back to being all me, me, me since I did my updates on the family. Or because I'm bored. Or putting off things I really should be doing.

1. Do you like blue cheese? No
2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Just fake candy ones in the 5th grade play.
3. Do you own a gun? No, and I hope I never have to.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I've only been to Sonic 4 times? So I have no idea.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointment? Sometimes. Only if I have a legitimate reason to be.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I have to copy Susan's answer, because I feel the same way: I think they’re gross and super yummy at the same time.
7. Favorite Christmas Song? I can't pick just one. Top Three: Oh, Holy Night; What Child is This?; It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water
9. Can you do push-ups? Ummm...I used to be able to do 10.
10. What is your favorite movie? I can't pick just one. It's like picking my favorite book. Can't do it.
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding ring.
12. Favorite hobby? Blogging and piano playing.
13. Do you work with people who idolize you? My girls aren't as impressed anymore, but my boys seem to still adore me!
14. Do you have ADD? No.
15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? Feeling pressure to identify things I hate about myself.
16. What’s your middle name? I don't have one. My maiden name is now my middle name.
17. Name three thoughts at this moment: I wish the kids would stop fighting and just eat their lunch; I hate Aunt Flo; my foot is asleep.
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: Duct tape, bleach, and toothpaste
19. Current worry right now? Will I have enough energy to get the laundry started today?
21. Current hate right now? (hey! Where was question #20?) Aunt Flo.
22. Favorite place to be? With good friends/family.
23. How did you bring in the New Year? I can't remember!
24. Where would you like to go? Everywhere. Literally, the whole world. But first on my list? England.
25. Name three people who will complete this? No idea. Three people with time on their hands? Or three people with NO time on their hands? Like me?
26. Whose answer do you want to read the most? I have to agree with Susan M on this one, too: Bythelbs!
27. What color shirt are you wearing? Purple.
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I prefer flannel.
29. Can you whistle? Sort of. It's very high-pitched and lousy.
30. Favorite color? I'm a lover of all colors, but I do prefer green.
31. Would you be a pirate? Only if Johnny Depp was my captain. Ho, ho!
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Usually I don't so I don't wake up the kids. But when I do? It's Opera. Very bad opera, I might add...
33. Favorite girl’s name? Jane
34. Favorite boy’s name? Wade
35. What’s in your pocket right now? My hand checking if there's anything in my pockets.
36. Last thing (Person) that made you laugh? #3 when he said "This spoon is kind of sharpish!"
37. Best bed sheets as a child? Can't remember having a theme. Did I?
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I broke my nose in November of 1998. I literally ran into a bar.
39. What is your favorite snack? Granola bars or yogurt. Or anything edible.
40. Favorite thing to do on Sundays? Take a nap.
41. Who is your loudest friend? My son, #3. Loud, loud, loud!
42. How many dogs do you have? None. We have one cat.
43. Does someone have a crush on you? Probably my husband. Maybe. I hope.
45. What is your favorite book? (where was #44?) Please see #10.
46. What is your favorite candy? Anything with chocolate.
47. What is your favorite sports team? BYU Cougars!
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? "If You Could Hie to Kolob" That hymn rocks!
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Sleeping.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? It cannot possibly be 5:50AM already!

Feel free to do this one yourself, answer some of the questions in the comments, or make witty remarks about my answers!

I'm Not Weird. I'm Quirky!

Did you blog about the Relief Society broadcast? Go here and tell Mormon Women: Who We Are about your experience and/or leave a link to your blog post. Hop to it! Share, share, share...
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Summer is having a contest! Go here to enter.
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I was tagged by my adorable new SIL to share some quirky things about my quirkiness and quirky thinking. Since I'm all quirky and what-not. Or something quirky like that.

The rules: I'm supposed to write Six quirky things about me and then tag a few other bloggers. Easy enough, eh? In fact, now that I think about it, I might have already done this before. Ah, well. Who wouldn't want to know even more quirky things about yours truly? That's what I thought (and holy cow, reading the word "quirky" over and over is so weird. Isn't it a weird word? Quirky, quirky, quirky...). Oh, and a million bonus points go to the person who can tell me what movie the title of this post came from!
Here are my quirky quirks:

1. If I have a guest in my house, my entire routine is blown. And not just my cleaning routine; my thinking routine, my bathroom routine, my cooking routine, my child-disciplining routine --everything. Totally shot! I can't think the same when people are in my house because I want to be a good hostess. I know others suffer from the same thing, but this is not just physical; it's psychological. It doesn't help that I love having guests over. Actually, maybe that's the quirky part?
2. I relay future scenarios in my mind. If this happened, what would I do or say? And then what would I do or say after that? Yeah, sometimes it's just to prep myself for a difficult discussion with another person; sometimes it's as tragic as the death of a family member (or spouse. Ahem.) and I have to plan out the next 5 years. Sometimes I will actually have a conversation out loud while I'm cleaning, dressing, doing my hair, etc. Yeah. It's weird. But you always have to have a plan, right? Right? RIGHT!?
3. When I clean the house, there is always a Jane Austen movie playing in the background. Always. Sometimes there's a Jane Austen movie playing in the background when I'm not cleaning, too.
4. I care waaaaaaaaayyyyyyy too much about what other people think of me. As I've gotten older I've gotten better, but I still care. Even random strangers on community blogs. I don't think it's so much that they have to "like" me --I just don't want them to think I'm stupid. At these times, I'm usually channeling Elizabeth Bennett. If you can repeat the quote I'm thinking of, you get another bazillion bonus points!
5. I tend to space out sometimes. Even in the middle of a conversation --I just get to thinking about what the person has said and it will be up to 10 or more seconds before I realize I wasn't paying attention to the rest of what they were saying. I always feel so bad when this happens, but I can't seem to help it!
6. I have a hard time following a recipe. It's not that I can't --I just don't want to! I tend to change things around and because of this, I've messed up a lot of dinners. However, I've also discovered some pretty good stuff, too, so, you know. It all evens out. Sort of.

Okay, I tag Leslie and Katie if they're up to it.

Do you have any quirks that you're just dying to share? Good! Share 'em! It's nice to know I'm not the only quirky person around here...

Updates Galore!

First off, Happy Birthday to my Nephew! I can't believe he's three already...

Second, if you want a great General Conference Packet for your kids (activity sheets, etc.), then go here. [Kudos to my Aunt Arlene and my friend Cheryl (i.e. Cardalls) for the link!]

Third, I won The Office contest at Bythelbs! And it wasn't even rigged. How cool is that!?

Fourth, I can't think of a fourth.

But Fifth! I am bringing you some updates on the Happy Crazy family. Because my parents, I'm sure --although they love me--are tired of reading about all my introspected crazy depression posts, and since I use this blog as means of communicating with family --even the family that never, ever, ever leaves comments (yeah, you know who you are!) --I should, every once in a while, post some pictures and show the grandparents that the children are still alive and doing pretty darn good. I promise! They are! Although, now that I think about it, this update is totally just a preview of our Annual Christmas Letter, so...it'll be pointless? Not needed? Or good practice for me? Yeah, I like that last one.
Here we go:

#1: Well, the girl is in 2nd grade, can you believe it? She's been talking a lot lately about how excited she is for her Baptism, even though it's not until this spring. In other news, #1 loves to ride her bike to school; she started art lessons at the Visual Art Institute of Utah, and I'm teaching her piano lessons. She loves primary, the library, and friends and hates bedtime, cleaning, and chocolate. I know! Well, she doesn't hate chocolate, she just prefers vanilla.

#2: She started Kindergarten! And she loves it. We recently put her into acting classes at the SCERA, and most people tell us that makes a lot of sense. She's very creative and makes up stories and songs and if we would let her? She'd manipulate all of us and take over the world. She also loves primary, the library, and friends; she also hates bedtime, cleaning and...nope! She adores chocolate. Adores it! We're working on her reading, but she seems to be progressing in school just fine. Oh, and she hates to walk to school, but I make her sometimes (with #1). I'm so evil! Isn't it great?

#3: He started Preschool! He goes twice a week in the mornings; I was afraid he would dislike it, beat up all the kids, scream at his teacher, etc. etc. but I was pleasantly surprised to find out that not only does he love school so much (he gets angry when it's not a school day), but he is kind, considerate, and listens. He listens! #3 is into bugs, cars, trains, bouncy balls, batteries, and mud. He loves macaroni and cheese and chocolate, hates bedtime and church. We're still not sure what he hates about church, since he's pretty good in Sacrament Meeting and loves, loves, loves his Sunbeam teacher. I'm starting to wonder if it's just the clip on tie and the shoes...hmmm...

#4: My baby! Oh, the sweet boy. He's growing so fast and his newest feat? Completely weaned from the binky, and he's not even two years old! Funny part? He doesn't even care (and yet he was so attached to it). We did it quite by accident; we were down to one binky, and one night, just before bed, we couldn't find it anywhere. Ah, well! We put him to bed, and he went to sleep. The next day at nap time? He cried a little, but not for long and bedtime was a breeze. We found the binky in the playroom downstairs a few days after that, and I just threw it away. Why start over when it was obvious he didn't need it?
Let's see...#4 loves to eat, laugh, and copy his big brother. He adores his sisters, and is finally starting to like Nursery (at church). He loves to jump off of the coffee table onto the couch, and his new favorite toy is anything his siblings have in their hands. He has the sweetest smile and I just love to kiss his face!

Brandon: He loves BYU football, works hard at his job (website here and here), teaches the Course 14 Sunday School Class and Advises the Priests. He also loves ice cream, spicy food, laptops, sandals, and peanut butter. Oh, and Cougarboard. And hiking (he hiked Mt. Timpanogos last Thursday for the umpteenth time):

(There aren't any recent photos of Brandon. Sorry!)

Me? Pshaw! You hear about me everyday.
But we did do something fun this weekend. On Saturday, we packed a picnic and drove the kids up Provo Canyon, up past Sundance and Aspen Grove, and onto Cascade Springs. We walked around the springs and then had a picnic lunch down at a park in Midway. My favorite part was the scenery! The leaves were gorgeous, the fall colors were so bright and luscious and even the kids were expressing their awe at such beauty of the mountains in Autumn (my favorite season, you know). So, of course, it would make sense that I had forgotten the camera. Yep. Totally forgot.
Sigh.
Brandon did get some photos from his cell phone. However, they didn't catch the magnitude of the beauty. We look kinda cute, though, don't we?

So, there you go! Updates for all. Now I can go back to my deep posts and continue to inspire the masses.
Lucky masses!

Am I Living Up To My Privileges?

I went to the Relief Society Broadcast with high expectations. And boy, oh, boy! Those expectations were met! Many of my secret prayers were answered as well.
The evening was even better because our Stake held a dinner before-hand. About an hour before the broadcast, we all met in the gymnasium of the building for soup (I even made my awesome taco soup, dear reader, and it was a hit!) and other yummy Autumn food. Best part? They provided mints afterwards before we went into the Chapel for the broadcast. Giving us a chance to hide our soupy breath? Now that's love, people!

I decided not to write down notes from everything the speakers had to say during the broadcast, since I knew I could print off copies of their talks (or wait until the November Ensign). Instead, I wrote down my impressions as they came. What did their words mean to me? And specifically, what could I do to follow their counsel?
Here's what I wrote down:

President Julie B. Beck:
*Read the weekly lessons for Sunday School and Relief Society; read a part of them every day.
*Keep planning and having family dinner, even though it's hard --so hard --to have it with Brandon because of his work schedule.
*Take the time to listen to the older RS sisters in my ward; learn from those Strong Spiritual Leaders.
*Include my kids in more service-oriented activities, such as serving and visiting neighbors.
*Allow more Quiet time in my life. There doesn't have to be music playing constantly, or talking constantly, or TV constantly; allow quiet moments of reflection.
When her voice cracked, dear reader, as she spoke "...even though we are weak..." my eyes could no longer stay dry. I am so weak. So very, very weak. But if Julie B. Beck can feel weak, and yet move forward and try harder and be better, than why can't I? Why can't I?

Sister Silvia H. Allred:
*Learn to live on less.
*Lose a desire for worldly wealth and focus on food storage and the things we do have; work with what we have.
*Make the monthly Temple trip a non-negotiable.
At this point, dear reader, I wrote the non-negotiable's that I have tried to implement into my family's life, and this was the list:
1. Family Dinner every night
2. Family Prayer, morning and night.
3. Family Scripture study every night before bed.
4. Family Home Evening every week.
And now!
5. Monthly Temple Trip with Brandon.
*Personal Reflection and Repentance Daily, rather than every few months.
*Could I do Initiatories? Maybe once or twice a month while #3 is in preschool? Maybe exchange babysitting with another sister in my ward?

Sister Barbara Thompson:
*What do my neighbors need?
*Pray. More and even more, Cheryl, you need to PRAY.
*Declare the Truth with strength and boldness and do not make apologies when doing so.
And I about burst into tears, dear reader, when she quoted Joseph Smith's quote that Elder Holland used in his talk that I wrote about here and it helped change my life. Here's the quote again for your convenience:
“If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates.”
*Am I living up to my privileges?

The intermediate Hymn? It was Now, Let Us Rejoice, and --I kid you not --I felt overwhelmed whilst-a-singin' with love and hope and all that mushy stuff we shy away from telling each other because we get embarrassed for being all shiny and hopey and lovey in a public setting. But I felt it and I loved it! Loved it, loved it.

President Uchtdorf:
*Creation and Compassion!
*Do I undervalue my Abilities?
*How can I trust and rely on the Spirit more, instead of ignoring small promptings that come my way?
*I cannot let fear of failure discourage me from trying.
*Keep writing, Cheryl. Don't give up!
*Working will cure grief and selfishness; how can I serve others and where can I find ways to serve more?
*Start serving in small ways and --again! --include the kids.

Now I can't wait for General Conference next weekend! I just hope I'm ready and open to hear the things I need to hear --even the hard stuff.

Did you go the meeting, dear reader? Were your expectations met? Did you hear answers to your prayers? What were your impressions?

All Kinds of Random (With Some Political-Ness)

I've been thinking a lot lately, if you couldn't tell. My posts have been very...introverted. Lots of thinking and introspection and introspected thinking. And such.
It's good to be all thinking sometimes, but after a while, even I get tired of it.
I've already decided to dedicate at least 2 posts next week to updates on my husband and children, since they deserve some time in the spotlight, right? These posts will be full of pictures, too. So, stay tuned for these amazing posts, since they will be so wonderful and blah, blah, blah...
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I love The Office. Do you love The Office? I do! I love it so much, in fact, I was tempted to skip book club last night to watch it. But I chose to attend book club instead (which really was the best choice --it was an amazing experience that I should blog about at another date) because I have TiVo. So as soon as I got home (and Brandon finished watching USC get beaten by Oregon State --WOW! Hooray for OR!), I stayed up to watch The Office premiere.
Man, I love that show!
So does Julie (who has a spoiler alert if you haven't seen it yet, which would be weird, considering it's the premiere, and it was last night and haven't we all seen it by now?!) and Bythelbs. In fact, Bythelbs is having a great give-a-way in honor of The Office!
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Politics are messy and stinky. But they are necessary to speak about when faced with voting for our future President. So, just to let it all out, I have decided to vote for McCain/Palin. I pretty much always lean Republican, although I always reserve the right to change my mind. This year, however? I read the entire Obama Platform (all of 'em. He's had more than one, you know).
I am soooooo voting Republican.
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Speaking of elections, there's a big Proposition in California. If I still lived there, I know I would be supporting Proposition 8, even though several of my family members would be against it. If I still lived in California, I would be donating time and money to helping it pass, even though several family members are donating time and money to help defeat it. If I still lived in California, I would have to explain my position over and over and over, and I would do it by using m&m's words. Because m&m, I have decided, is one of my favorite "explainers." She explains things in a way that teaches, lifts, and unifies. There is no room for discord and contention in the things she says --a gift, I have told her, that she has been so blessed with! M&M does such a good job, too, of compiling information:
In this link, she gives you a list of websites that are supporting Proposition 8 and many studies that have been done in Europe (Sweden, Norway, and Denmark) where SSM has been legal for many, many years, as well as some articles from Liberal Democrats who oppose SSM.
In this link, she explains why and how it is possible to love a Gay person and still Oppose gay marriage, and how hurtful it is when people assume there is hatred and bigotry.
In this link, she provides ways for people to help pass Prop 8 in California, even if you don't live there (ooh! Like me!).
And in case you haven't heard, here is the reasoning behind the LDS Church's involvement in Proposition 8, their stand on families, and the eternal nature of marriage. And that, dear reader, is one of the main reasons I support it.
Like I said, I have several family members (and friends) who feel differently than I do. And that's okay. I hope we can agree to disagree, because it doesn't matter how many times we discuss it, go through it, talk about it, debate it, etc. my mind cannot change. And I don't expect to change their minds, either. But I do expect us to still love and respect each other, because that's what family and friends do, right?

How would you vote on Prop 8 if you lived in CA? If you do live there, how are you voting? And are you an Obama supporter or a McCain supporter? And do you like The Office? Why not! Let's just talk about it all, dear reader. Let's talk about it all...

The Queen of Domesticity is Born!

Well, dear reader, you're never going to guess what I've been doing all week. I know you won't be able to guess because I can barely guess it myself and I'm the one doing it!

I have been cleaning.

And not your average "Oh, it's chore day! Let's clean!" or your not-so-average "I'm so sick and tired of all this junk filling out house so we're going to purge, purge, purge and purging begins now, people!" either. It was a consistent, "this needs to be done, so we're going to do it without complaint, without expectation, and without blogging for four hours straight" type of cleaning.

I think I've turned a corner in my domesticity skillz.

Oh, sure, this is probably a rarity and I'll find myself on the couch for days at a time (hmmm...perhaps when the next depression cycle hits?), but for now, I'm relishing in the following facts:
1. I cleaned the entire family room and play room while the girls were at school; #3 helped a little bit (#4 ran around laughing), but most of it was me. And I wasn't angry while I did it. I spend so much time forcing the kids to clean up the basement, I figured every once in a while I could just do it myself, giving them a break from the constant cleaning, and me a break from the constant yelling (or is it the other way around?).
2. I cleaned the yard! I know! The mind is still reeling! I cleaned up trash, threw away broken toys, swept the patio, dug out toys and trash from window wells, fixed the landscaping bricks #3 removed whilst-a-lookin' for bugs, and I even cleared away cobwebs from corners (shudder).
3. The kitchen has been clean every night. Every morning this week I have woken up to a clean kitchen. The floors are swept (although last night I didn't do it because I was getting my hair cut/colored), the dishes are done, and the food is put away (let's not talk about the times when food doesn't always get put away, okay? Okay.). Waking up to a clean kitchen has got to be one of the most blissful things in a family's life. Seriously.
4. I'm almost caught up on laundry. For those who know my intense dis-like-ness of laundry, you understand how this blows the mind!
5. I've been making the kids keep their rooms clean and I've been on top of them to pick up toys, clothes, and make beds. However, I noticed it wasn't anything different from what I've done in the past, except this time I made sure they actually did it.
6. For four straight days, I would not be embarrassed if someone came to my home unannounced. There would be no shame because there is no weird smell, or sticky floor, or crumb-infested carpet. I could totally entertain someone with pride! (as long as they didn't notice the dust. Maybe I should dust...)

But here are the best facts:
A. I do not have resentment towards my family for the cleaning. I'm just doing it. The fact that Brandon works long hours and can't help? I'm not angry right now (much). The fact that my kids whine when I tell them to get their butts in gear and pick up some toys/clean their rooms/stop throwing toothpaste does not phase me, much to their chagrin. I don't back down, either, much to their other chagrin. See, I'm actually okay with the cleaning. And this is major progress for me, dear reader. Majorly major progress!
B. I have found that when the house is cleaner, I have more time to remember things like appointments, activities, homework for the kids, schedules, phone calls, etc. Which is weird. But perhaps it's because I have all that time to think whilst-a-cleanin'? And I actually know where the papers are because the kitchen desk is organized? Who knew?!
C. My mother told me a long time ago that we don't clean our houses for other people. She said if I cleaned my house, it needs to be for me and my family, not anyone else. She also told me that if I kept a clean house (within reason; we're not doing the white glove test, here, people), I would be happier.
Who knew she was right?!
And why did it take me 10 years to totally get it?!
I was talking with my dad on the phone yesterday and I mentioned these things to him and I asked him why I felt happier with a clean house. I mean, I was disappointed I didn't have time to sit and blog and read like I usually do, but for some reason I was perfectly elated by all I had accomplished --even the daily grind (like dishes, etc.). He said it was because I didn't have those things looming over my head, so I didn't feel constant weight, guilt, pressure, etc. to do what I needed to do because --Ta da! -- it was done. And burden, weight, guilt, pressure, etc. taken away makes for a very pleasant afternoon!
C. When I just do it, instead of whining internally (and sometimes externally), I find it easier to do. I've been telling my kids this for years --"Stop wasting so much time whining and stalling! If you would just do it, it would be over faster!" --but did I ever think to stop and just do it myself? Hmm?
D. I'm realistic enough to know that this new found Queen of Domesticity will probably turn out to be a once a month type of thing. But it takes what...21 days? to make a habit? Maybe I could convince myself to do this for 21 days, and then it'll become habit. Not cleaning like crazy, but cleaning a little bit everyday (kind of what I mentioned in my most recent post). I could handle that habit. I think I want to handle that habit. In fact, I know I do.

So, dear reader, have you gotten to the place where keeping your house clean isn't really a burden? Have you found ways to make it enjoyable? Have you experienced anything I have where you realize how much more peaceful the home is when it's clean? Or do you think I'm just off my rocker and should be committed because I think a clean house is a wonderful and worthwhile thing even though it's cutting into my blogging time? Hmmm? It's okay. You can be honest; I can take it!

Joy Whilst Getting Stuff Done

Yesterday was "get stuff done" day. Because I needed to get stuff done. And because the stuff was so completely and utterly not done, which made for the need to rectify the un-done-ness and get it all done.
So much to get done!
However, amidst all the "getting stuff done" and trying to "not go insane" and coming up with new ways to "use italics" in my sentences, I found something:

Joy! Complete, calm, unfettered, and un-italicized joy.

I blame Amber. Her post yesterday had me thinking about joy all day. As did all of your comments about waiting for what we wait for.
I also blame my female cycle. PMS depression is over for the month, and so finding joy is not a mind-numbing, heart-shredding, body-exhausting ordeal as it is during my down weeks.

Some of the joy I found:
*#4 has the cutest expressions found anywhere on a 19 month old. Anywhere!
* Making cookies with the kids using a tub of cookie dough (bought at Costco) is more fun than making them from scratch. For me, anyway.
*DVD players in mini-vans are a gift of God, especially when it takes an hour and 20 minutes to drive from Sugarhouse (SLC) to Provo because of an accident on the I-15.
*Waking up to a clean kitchen is by far one of the greatest joys to be found.
*Laughing and talking while snuggled under the covers makes up for however many dirty socks I find on the living room floor.

So, you see? I found some joy whilst-a-getting stuff done. And I got it done! Most of the stuff, anyway. There is still ample amounts of undone stuff, but somehow, it's not so overwhelming. Perhaps because today I will get more of it done, too. And I know every day I will need to get some of it done to prevent the next day from becoming overloaded with extra stuff. Interesting how a little work each day makes the next day a little bit easier.
Figures.

So, dear reader, tell me --have you found joy today? This week? This month? How do you find joy when you are in the "getting stuff done" mode?

Tangible Anticipation

wait:
verb (used without object)
1. to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens (often fol. by for, till, or until): to wait for the bus to arrive.

This has been a year of waiting, dear reader. Constant waiting. I have felt my patience tested to many degrees, and yet I know (and fear) the testing is not over. It is far from over.

I have wrestled with the decision to tell you about the things I am waiting for because prudence tells me I may not be understood and perhaps even mocked. But after another amazing Sunday [full of hope, faith, strength, and purpose], I have decided the risk is worth it because I need to put a voice to my wait list. Or weight list. However you would like to see it.

What I am waiting for:
1. A calling. I have spoken of this before; I want a calling. And not a temporary one that lasts 6 weeks at the most. I have never gone this long (6 months?) without a calling before, so this is new territory for me. However, I recently communicated with another blogger who went almost 2 years without a calling. Two years!? Changes my perspective just a tad, eh? What's 6 months? And chances are, knowing how my life goes, I'll get a calling next week, just because I'm writing about it. My life is nothing if not ironic!

2. Our house. We were going to remodel our house like crazy months ago, but have postponed it indefinitely until we can prudently afford it. However, this hasn't stopped my worried forehead from wrinkling up whenever I see the peeling paint in our master bedroom, the lack of a door on the boys' bedroom, the scuffed up wood flooring, or the old and sweating windows. ~sigh~

3. School. Brandon is (hopefully, hopefully!) going back to school starting in May. I know this is something with an actual date attached to it, so the waiting is not as frustrating, but it's the "weight" of it which causes me stress. Will he get in? And if he does, will I be able to handle the schedule for the next two years?

4. A baby. There. I said it. We want another baby. I didn't want to tell people, because we've only been "trying" for 4 months, and 4 months equates no time at all when in the pursuit of a baby. Add to this the fact that I have no room for despair when compared with friends who have suffered intense second infertility --not to mention other friends who have never been able to conceive. I miscarried last month, you know. It wasn't long enough for me to get excited, but when it came --I knew it for what it was. It wasn't anything like my other miscarriage, but it still equated the same thing: Not this month.
I've known for a long time we are supposed to have 5 children. When I was pregnant with #3, the Lord made it very clear to me that I would have two more children --at the very least. Even now, however, I feel this next child will be our last. And I felt the desire and need for our fifth family member even as early as #4's eight-month mark (he's now almost 20 months). So, with some faith and the desire, we decided it was time. But it's not happening. Yet.
So, of course, the questions start. It's too early for the tears; too early for the palpable pain, but it's not too early for my questions:
What if we didn't hear the Lord correctly?
What if we aren't supposed to have any more children after all?
What if we have to wait until Brandon is done with school?
What if we have to wait because we are having twins? or a Special Needs child?
What if we have to wait because my future calling will be too hard/take up too much time?
And worst of all:
What if I'm wrong?
Wrong would equate that I know more than God. Pride, if you will. And I don't want pride; I know what pride can do to the soul, I abhor pride, and yet I know I am filled with pride at every turn.
Which reminds me of this:
We're learning about the Pride Cycle in Sunday School. Anyone who has taken Seminary or read the Book of Mormon knows what I'm talking about: Righteous people prosper. Prosperity breeds pride and wickedness. Wickedness brings about chastisement from God; trials ensue. Repentant and Humbled, righteousness prevails. And then righteous people prosper. And so on and so on.
This cycle, dear reader, is real. It happens in society, in happens in families, and it happens --as I mentioned --in the soul.
I think I'm at the chastisement point in my spiritual progression. This year. Oh, I've been through this before, dear reader! Haven't you? But I look at the trials before me (notice how my depression hasn't been mentioned in this post? Why? Because it's obviously part of my trials. And I've talked about it to death already this month, don't you think?) and I realize I have things to learn. Many, many things.
I just wish I knew what it was all about.

So, I'll continue to wait. It's not so bad when I put it into perspective, you know. My prayers of late have be riddled with gratitude, so I will focus on what I have instead of what I don't have. It makes things bearable. But every once in a while as I'm laying on our bed before drifting off to sleep, I'll see that peeling paint, rest my hand upon my abdomen, and pray I won't have to wait too much longer.

Do you ever find yourself having to wait?

Too Self Absorbed

I was too self absorbed this week. While wallowing through my own depression, my friends Jill, Kelly A., Laura, and Jeanette were experiencing the aftermath of Hurricane Ike. Luckily, all of them (and their families) are well and have their electricity back. But the devastation Ike left in his wake?
Go here to see.
Then offer a prayer of gratitude that you weren't in Ike's path, and another for those who have to face the clean-up process.

Some Stuff. About the Stuff.

I won a blogging give-a-way, dear reader! I did! I'm having a lucky streak, I think. TaLaisa over at TaLaisa's Bead Drawer put up a post with a picture of the earrings I won from this contest. And they came in the mail yesterday. And I love them! They are beautiful! Thank you, TaLaisa.
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The Motherboard is having a fabulous give-a-way for her Blogging Anniversary. Go enter to win!
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My good friend, Julie P. (Rarely Home Mom), put this video on her website, and since Blogger won't let me embed YouTube videos (that I am aware of), please go view it here (at Julie's). I LOVED this video. Loved, loved, loved it, and I wish more celebrities, entertainers, and news people would take this election more seriously. Not only is this video segment honest and refreshing, it's a tad hilarious at parts. Not as hilarious as Tina Fey impersonating Sarah Palin (*snort), but hilarious none-the-less. Craig Ferguson is just awesome.

*P.S. The link I provided didn't show the entire Tina Fey video, but this link will.
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Thank you for all of your kind words. Again. As I receive from you every month. Every blasted month. Because I am always embarrassed when I have to get on here and rant about my PMS induced depression every four weeks. I'm sure many people (as I mentioned before) are tired of hearing my plight; it has to get old after a while. In fact, I guarantee you I have lost readers because of my depressing posts. Why stick around in such a dismal place? Sadly for me, however, this depression doesn't abate in the way I need/want it to; my depression is real and conniving and the fight is the same over and over and over and I am dealing with it in the best way I know how. Kind of like my asthma. But I already told you about that. And for what it's worth, the self-pity wallowing only lasted two full days this time. Only two days! Not seven! That's progress, dear reader. Monumental progress.
Anyway, thank you. Your support gives me leeway to continue discussing and writing about my crazy mind. Like my friend Julie told me:
I actually appreciate what you say and work out here on the blog, Cheryl. Because I don't have depression, it's hard for me to understand it...But I applaud you for recognizing it and working your way through it. It's admirable and beautiful.
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And you know what? I sure love you, dear reader. You may not know it by the lack of comments, but I'm still reading your words; I do care about what is going on in your lives. The other thing depression takes from me is a motivational desire to do...anything. My apathy spills over into my blogging, and thus the lack of comments. But I do care, inside. I do.
I just wanted you to know.

Do You Ever Get Sick Of Hearing Me Complain?

I do. I get sick of it all the time.

So sick, that sometimes I take me by the shoulders, give 'em a good shake, look me in the eye and yell, "Snap out of it, you crazy woman! Can't you see what a miserable wretch you are? Get over it!" Usually after these episodes, I feel guilty for making me feel so bad, but it has to be done. It quite often has to be done. I mean, what else can I do for me? I can't force me to change, but I can't stand by and watch me whither in self-pity and look pathetic in front of all my blogging friends. And real friends. So, I have to do to me what I know I would do to myself. And that is putting the smack-down!

But then other times, I let me get sad and internally complain the day away. Even when I can head off the depression and feel it coming, I know I won't be able to stop it from overtaking me, and it makes me sad that I can't help me some more. I get almost as sad as me gets. Because I like me. I really do. This is why I have to go all vigilante on me sometimes and thus the shaking of my shoulders and yelling and such. Tough love, people. Tough love.

It's hard to see someone suffer, especially if we love that person, right?

~sigh~

Reaching and Reminiscing

It's another month, dear reader, and that equates another Down Week. The good news, however, is my mental awareness of it's approach. I sensed and felt the depression before it made itself known, and this, quite frankly, rocks the world! Why? Well, because usually I don't realize what is happening until I am in the thick of it and my children and husband begin to wonder if they should have me hauled away. When I am able to cut it off at the beginning, I can handle it and work through it and pretty much conquer it --as long as I stay focused on not letting it get me down. It's a fairly exhausting process, but much better than the alternative (i.e. dark, dark moody days full of despair and grief, thinking things I don't mean, like wanting to run away and join the circus. Or the Marines.).
So, here I am, cutting off the depression before it takes a hold of me. Stupid depression. You won't win this month!
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Have you ever felt that something was just barely out of your grasp, but you couldn't see it or hear it? You felt it there, looming before you, waiting for you to learn enough to understand, or feel enough to catch up to it, but it seemed unattainable? I feel this way about my writing. My book is there, you see, just out of reach. It's so close. So very, very close. But the problem is I haven't written it, yet! There's a story out there just for me, I know it. Something that needs to be written and read. The other 5 or 6 I've tried to write? They are not the "it" I'm speaking of, so I know it's still out there. Somewhere.
I hope I find it soon.
Have you found it? That "something" barely out of your reach?
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When I get all moody like this, I tend to reminisce about the past. I'm not sure why; perhaps I'm tapping into memories of happiness? Whatever the case, I find it interesting at how easily I can let my mind remember the past. Thinking of past family vacations, the birth of my children, old boyfriends, college courses, friends from my past, etc. gives me distractions so I won't have to think about why my brain (or hormones?) aren't working right. The upside to this reminiscing is the desire to find old friends, which I have! And as you know, dear reader, I like myself some dear old friends.
Do you ever reminisce?

Newlyweds and Starry Eyes

I was talking with a newlywed the other day [to protect the innocent, I won't mention names or how I know this person, but if they are reading, I hope they know I love them very, very much!], and it got me thinking:
Was I like this when I was a newlywed? So wrapped up in the other person that my views of reality were kind of skewed and had I known what I know now would I have been so quick to say things and make promises that are so unrealistic and not even remotely possible??
Was I like that?
Part of me hopes I was smart and savvy, realistic and knowledgeable that even though Brandon promised to be a millionaire by the time he turned 30 (he's now almost 32, cough-cough) and vowed he would never go on a business trip without me (Bwahahahahahaha!) I knew those promises would never be true.
But the other part of me --the memory part of me --knows that I was exactly like every other newlywed with stars in their eyes. I had it all mapped out, our future, and it was perfect. Of course it was perfect! How could it not be perfect?
Wanna know what it was, this future of ours?
You sure?
Here was the plan:
Brandon and I would finish school; I would get my undergraduate degree in Secondary Music Education. Brandon would graduate with his Business degree (ISYS emphasis) and then we would move to San Jose, CA so he could get his MBA at Stanford. He would get an amazing job and we would move to Southern CA, living in the same community where he grew up. We would have six boys and four girls (not in that order; all mixed up, of course) and when Brandon became a millionaire (or billionaire) at age 30, he'd retire, get his pilot's license, and we would travel the world. This is when I would start my career as a high school choir teacher and spend 20 years in that profession. We'd later serve a mission in Australia --the place where Brandon served his mission and where we would have vacationed many, many times. Later, we would serve missions in England (where we spent a few years while I wrote a few best-sellers), Africa (where we had vacationed), and India (because we love the food). After all of our children grew up, served honorable missions, married in the Temple and provided us with 60 plus grandchildren, we would die peacefully in each other's arms at the age of 85. Or so. Throughout this life, Brandon would never go on a business trip without me; I would be the best homemaker in the world. I would learn to like sewing, gardening, canning, and --gasp! Laundry. We would be the home where our children would bring their friends and we would be known only as "The cool parents." We would never fight, Brandon would bring me flowers weekly, and I would make his lunch and iron his shirts.


Dude. I have to stop. I can't stop laughing!


Yeah, so the last 10 years has thrown most of that out the window. I think the only thing we actually did was that Brandon got his degree in Business with an ISYS emphasis.
Yep. That's it.
I hate laundry, can't sew, and kill every plant that I touch. I graduated with a Marriage and Family degree. We have four children, might have another, and we live in Utah. Brandon will hopefully get his EMBA within the next few years, but we will stay put while he does it. He brings me flowers occasionally, and I hate to iron his shirts. We've never been back to Australia, or to England, but we have been to Mexico and Hawaii. We fight a lot, people (stubborn Red personalities that we have!), but it's better than it was --that's the key, I think. The fact that it's getting better, and it is! I've suffered through weight problems and depression; Brandon has suffered through his own weight problems and my depression (ha!), and there's no guarantee our cute kids are going to turn out the way we hope they will. Brandon will never get his pilot's license (I'm serious, Brandon. You are not flying small planes! I mean it! Add this to the "no motorcycles" rule), and we probably won't die in each other's arms, darn it!
So, you see? Things rarely turn out the way we think they will; that's just a fact of life. But I wouldn't have changed it for anything. If I knew then what I know now, then I wouldn't have had the experience to teach me what I know now, capische?

To all those newlyweds out there: Keep those stars in your eyes. Just don't be surprised if nothing turns out the way you want/expect it to, including the person you married. It's not a bad thing or a wrong thing, it's just this crazy little thing we call mortal life.
P.S. Marriage takes work. If it doesn't take work for you (either now or eventually), then either one of you is lying, or one of you is being repressed/abused. I'm serious.
P.P.S. I could go on about this all day long, having majored in it and all, but I'll save it for another post.

So, dear reader, are things different now from when you were a newlywed? Have things turned out exactly like you had planned? Exactly opposite?

Why You Wish You Lived in My Neighborhood

I don't know how to even begin. I've started this post four separate times, but each time, the words fail because how can you describe such...unity? Purpose? Community? Love? Belonging?

When most people think about "Utah Mormons" and especially "Utah Valley Mormons", they think about the self-righteous, culture-saturated, ignorant Republican gun-totin'-bigots. And for the most part? They are dead wrong. Dead wrong. It's a reputation that I've tried many-a-time here in this ol' Blogger world to rectify, but people are set in their own prejudices (oh, how the kettle meets the pot!) and won't be "fooled." They lived in Utah once, or their sister's cousin's daughter's best friend told them all about it. I'm sure there are some good examples and some truth to the rumors (or how would the rumors have started?), but for the most part? It's fairly inconsistent. There are things about Utah that I don't particularly love, but let me be the first (or the twelfth) to tell you that the prejudices against Provo Mormons would not exist if their owners had lived in my neighborhood.

Imagine this:
We have to set up chairs and tables and booths and signs and a stage and a sound system and a Clavinova (piano) and flags and decorations outside in the church parking lot, near the pavilion at 7AM on a Saturday morning for our Neighborhood Picnic. Brandon promised our committee that we would have at least 15 youth show up to help, but we didn't get 15 youth to climb out of their beds on their only day to sleep-in --we had almost 30. And not just the youth. Several adults, and many 11 year old kids showed up to help. Of course, there was the promise of breakfast, made especially by our Bishop's wife, and it was good! But that was to come when the job was done, and it was done within 2 hours. Two hours! One of those youth volunteered to watch my kids while we were setting up; another volunteered to watch them during the afternoon so I could finalize all the details while 80% of our ward/committee was at the BYUvUCLA game. One young man, after bringing me some needed items from his mother, stayed and helped us prep food.

When 5:30PM rolled around (the time the Picnic/Extravaganza started), everything was in place, everyone was at their stations, and the neighborhood began to arrive. From a distance, you could see dozens of families walking to the Church; many carrying musical instruments and pies. The kids immediately ran to the cotton candy and popcorn booths on their way to the fish pond, ring toss, face painting, and bouncy house/slide. Others chose to start at the pony and hay rides. After the opening prayer, lines formed to get hamburgers, hot dogs, corn on the cob, watermelon, pie/ice cream, and chips/salsa (which was provided by a fabulous Hispanic family in our neighborhood who own a couple of local restaurants). Many sat and listened to our local talent on the "free stage" while they ate, and later enjoyed a small and simple Patriotic program, reminding us about 9/11 (the whole reason this neighborhood gathering began in the first place).

Many generations of neighbors were in attendance. Children who had grown up in our neighborhood came back to attend the picnic and brought their own children. For some, it was a reunion! New friends and neighbors were introduced, old friends reunited, and neighbors of different faiths and paths ate, talked, and played together for many hours.

[I would be remiss, of course, if I didn't mention that many came exuberantly happy because of the BYU game (holy cow!). And knowing that the "chain gang" (the older guys who hold the "down" measuring-stick-thingy-ma-jingies on the sidelines), Max Hall, and Austin Collie are in our ward. Oh, yes. Yes, they are! Go Cougars!]

But the best part of the event? Besides people thanking us profusely for a fabulous event even though there weren't enough displays or antique cars and one of the bouncy houses nearly fell over because the teenagers got a little too slap-happy and should have been doing their Rip-stick course and playing water balloon volleyball instead of jumping around on the kids' bouncy slide?
At least a hundred people stayed to help clean up without being asked. Everyone was home by 9PM, and the event didn't end until almost 8PM. Oh! And a few YW took my kids and went to put them to bed (one was the same that had watched them that afternoon) and then refused payment. Refused payment for the entire day!

I live in a neighborhood with some of the most Christ-like people I have ever met. Their desire to serve each other in a myriad of ways never ceases to astound me, and this neighborhood event is just a small taste as to what life is like here. New people move in and within a few weeks they talk about how they never want to leave; many don't. Many stay, and so do their children. And their grandchildren.
[And to be clear, we're not just talking about Mormons, although it is true that 98% of our ward consists of LDS members. But our neighbors of other faiths also love our neighborhood and never leave, so, I think that says a lot of the people here, don't you?]

When we left back in March of 2007 to live in California, I was devastated to leave; but at the same time excited for a new adventure. I found myself landing in a ward that was not quite unlike the one I left here in Provo. The people I met and associated with in CA were the greatest, and I will never forget them (how could I ever forget people like Katie and Janelle?). I'm so grateful for the things they taught me. In fact, if you remember, dear reader, I was quite upset at having to come back to Provo. I wasn't ready, you know. But I have since made the adjustment back into our home, our neighborhood, the ward, the school, and Saturday night proved to me how much I love this place.

neighbor: Cheryl, we are so glad your family moved back!
me: Aw, thanks!
neighbor: Don't ever leave again, okay?
me: Ha! No promises; but I will tell you this, if we do, chances are we'd come back again, you know. How could we not? This is home.

Unless we move to Seattle, you know. That place is freakin' awesome!

What is your neighborhood like? Your ward? Have you ever lived in a place like this? Would you want to?

Mushy, Mushy Brain Cells

Ho, hum. Doopidy, doopidy doo.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Sorry, folks, that's all I got. My brain has turned to mush, what with the occupation of neighborhood picnic planning, house cleaning, children raising, political junk, trying to write a...well...anything at this point, continuous lack of a "real" calling, missing my friends, being without Brandon all week (who finally came home last night), having to miss the BYU/UCLA game tomorrow, and desperately needing a shower (is it noon already!?) inside this brain of mine.

I haven't had such writer's block carnage in such a long time! I swear, it's been...what? A couple of months? At least!
*snort

Okay, well, have a good weekend, dear reader. I hope next week I will have good news to report. Of some variety. Of any variety, actually. In fact, just the fact that the neighborhood picnic will be over will be the best news, ever!

What are you doing this weekend? Do any of you still have writer's block? Do any of you wish you could come and plan this picnic for me? No? Ah, well...

Give-a-way, give-a-way, who wants a give-a-way?

Would you like a chance to win some awesome stuff?

• Summer is holding a book give-a-way (not just any book, it's Far World --Water Keep by J. Scott Savage, and it's an ARC (advanced reader copy), and it's signed! Whoo-hoo!)
• TaLaisa is having another jewelry give-a-way; she is so talented and her work is beautiful!
• I know I already mentioned this, but Leslie is giving away Tupperware!

Anybody else having a give-a-way I should know about? Let me know!

I Had To Tell Them So They Would Remember

Last night, for the first time, I explained to my kids what September 11, 2001 meant.

I'm not sure why I took so long to tell them about what happened that day, but I think most of it comes down to the fact that they weren't born. #1 was only 4 months old. For the last 7 years, the subject of terrorism/hatred/fear/attack is not one I wanted to explain. They are quite young, and I was always afraid that they wouldn't understand; couldn't understand. But in a moment of inspiration, I took a few minutes to explain what the day meant; what it represented, and why we call it Patriot Day.

#1 listened with wide eyes; #2 and #3 were silent. They asked questions and I answered them the best that I could. They were shocked to know that three of our family members were in NYC that day; I had to remind them that they obviously came through it, since we've seen them recently. #1 was intrigued when I explained to them that their daddy and I were with #1 on a houseboat in the middle of Lake Powell and didn't know about it until Sept. 12, 2001. I told them how frantic we were to find out if our family members were okay; we were in shock as we drove through the cell-phone-dead-zone of southern Utah, desperately wanting to watch the news.

I told them about the policemen and the firefighters. I told them about the heroes on United Flight 93. I explained that we celebrate this day so that we will never forget those who died, those who rescued, those who hoped, and those who prayed. We celebrate it so we will not allow those who hate our country to win over our day-to-day lives. We remember so we don't live in fear.

I think they understood. I know I will never forget it and I don't want them to grow up without remembering it, too.

A friend of mine was working in the Capitol building in DC on 9/11. She wrote a beautiful and personal post about it --please go read it. And remember.

I know I've asked this before (last year?), but where were you on 9/11/01?

Kid Speak, Private Blogs, and a Give-a-way!

Riding in the car, yours truly singing along with the music:

#2: Mom, you need to take singing lessons.
me: What? I took singing lessons for a long time, you know.
#2: You need to take them again.

Figures.
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Eating chocolate oatmeal cookies we made together from a mix (because I am "homemade" incapable. Sorry.):

#3: Tigers loves cookies.
me: They do?
#3: Yep.
me: How do you know Tigers love cookies?
#3: Because I smart. I'm Four now.
me: Okay. But why do Tigers love cookies?
#3: Because they have chocolate chips!
me: Well, why to Tigers like chocolate chips?
#3: Because chocolate is so good!

Well, duh, mom.
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To all of my dear blogging buddies who have private blogs:
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry because I am addicted to Google Reader, which won't read private blogs for me. I get no warning or indication that you have posted something new, and because of that, I tend to forget to check your blog. It's nothing personal. In fact, quite a few times I think "Why hasn't Kelly A. posted anything, yet?" or "Whatever happened to Laura?" or "I wonder what's going on with Kathryn and Dave?" and "Cheryl (Cardalls) seems to have forgotten to tell us about her life!"
And then I realize I'm an idiot, because I haven't checked their blogs.
Mother of the Wild Boys, though --she spoils me. She sends an email to those who have access to her blog every time she posts something. I love this. Love, love, love this. I always know when to check her blog (she even provides the link in the email, crazy girl!) and I'm never feeling guilty for forgetting to check. Because I don't. Because she won't let me.
I don't expect everyone to do this, but it's not a bad idea, you know. Hint, hint. Double hint (wink, wink, nudge, nudge!).
So therefore, however, and what-with, if you private bloggers could forgive me, I'd appreciate it. I don't intend on ignoring you; I try not to. I feel bad when it seems like I am! I just want you to understand why it looks like I'm ignoring you. Maybe one day Google (the genius people they are) will come up with a way for us to view private blogs by recognizing our sign-in name or something. Wouldn't that be awesome?!
But until then, know that I love ya, and I'll keep on trying to remember to stop by and visit.
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Leslie's 100th post is coming up! To commemorate this honor, she's hosting a give-a-way, of course. Hooray for give-a-ways! Leslie is a Tupperware consultant, and so you have a choice of some awesome Tupperware to win. Go check it out, tell her I sent you, and then spread the word!
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*UPDATE: Go read Amanda's post. It's a goodie.

Advice

Don't ever wait until the last week to finalize plans on a Neighborhood Picnic/Carnival/Extravaganza for 400 people. Try to finalize earlier, like when your co-chair (i.e. Husband) is not traveling back East for work and will return the day before the event. But especially --especially! --don't feel bad when you have to cut some of the events last minute because of said procrastination. Feeling bad just adds to the stress.

P.S. I promise to respond to your comments in the previous post eventually, okay?
P.P.S. Christy? I emailed you about your friend's piano teacher need...

*Update P.P.S. For a great post, go read The Wiz at MMW. I liked it. A lot.

One of the Best Weekends EVER

Why? Because:

• Brandon and I had three blissful nights alone!
• We got to see Seattle from the Space Needle and visit Pike's Place Fish Market, where we ate Thai food, browsed through used bookstores, saw the tossing of fish, relished in the beautiful colors of fruit and flowers, and listened to great local music.
• I got to meet one of my very best friends in person.
• We got to eat wonderful, delicious, delectable seafood.
• BYU beat UDUB (University of WA) by one whole point.
• We arrived and left the football game by boat.
• We visited with Brandon's uncle, aunt, and cousins and they showed us the awesomeness of Puget Sound.
• I decided I want to live in Seattle. Right now. And no, I'm not kidding.

Here are some photos (click on the mosaic to get a better close-up):

What did you do this weekend?

A Cheryl Absence (take *that*, missing words!)

Dear Reader-
Although I have combed over the house and yard to find my words, I have not found them. What is up with this famine of words? (Props to Julie for that phrase in my last post!) It seems that most of us are needing a break, but at the same time? Such irony! I-ron-y. Is there something in the air? Hmm? Well, whatever it is, it doesn't matter, because I have to summon up some words to leave you with this note so you will not worry at my absence.
Absence?
Absence.
I'm leaving (tonight) on a jet plane...
You know how Brandon loves BYU football? Oh, and me, too? Well, dear reader, we are heading to Seattle for the weekend. A much needed, no-children-and-no-family-or-obligations weekend. We'll be watching the BYU football game (against Washington) on Saturday, which is making Brandon giddy. But I'm giddy about tomorrow! You see, on Friday? The day that is not the game? We are going to see the sights, pretend to be honeymooners/tourists, and then we're driving to this place where a certain blogger lives. And we're going to hang out with her and her family. And I'm going to squeal like a little girl because I will finally get the chance to meet the friend who I speak to and write to so frequently, that I have forgotten we only "met" 6 1/2 months ago. Haven't we been friends forever?
Bythelbs.
Yes! Can you believe it?! I know, I know, I'm just setting myself up for failure, what with the build up and all, but I can't help it. I'm just very happy we finally get to see each other in person. And I know I'm making every single one of you jealous, since you all love Bythelbs, too, right? So...sorry! I don't mean to be so insensitive. But at the same time, I'm too excited to feel much sorrow or pity. I know! I'm awful, eh?
*shrug*
Anyway, I'll be gone until Sunday night. However, since I'm addicted to you, dear reader, I'm sure I'll be around, even if I'm not "around." But in the meantime, I thank you for your kindness and loyalty, dear reader. You don't know how much I need it. Or crave it. Or dream about it. Or...well, you know what I mean.
Crazily and most Happily,
Cheryl

Words, words, words. I have no words. I wish I had words, but I don't.

Do you have any words, dear reader? Could I borrow a cup or two? Just until I can find out where mine went?

Blasted words...where did they go?

Labor? Labor.

Labor Day today was good. And relaxing. Relaxing and good.
We spent the day at Brent and Ann's place; the kids ran around and played --we chatted and played board games. No schedules, good kids, great food, and the best company. A perfect day!

But since today is Labor Day, I decided to copy Summer, who got this from Rocks in My Dryer, and talk about Labor. You know, Labor? As in Labor and Delivery? Yes! That labor!:

How long were your labors?
#1: 13 hours
#2: 4 hours
#3: 8 1/2 hours
#4: 7 1/2 hours

Where and how did you deliver?
#1: UVRMC (Utah Vally Regional Medical Center); my water broke at home and I got the epidural as soon as we got to the hospital. It slowed me down, so they upped the pitocin and the rest went like clockwork. Episiotomy? Yes.
#2: UVRMC; she was ten days late, so I was induced. The dr. put me on pitocin as high as it could go and then broke my water (and I'm still kind of angry about it). I went from a 4 to a 10 in less than 45 minutes, barely got the epidural in time, but it didn't kick in until after she was born because she came in 2 pushes. Painful? Yes! Controllable pain? No. Episiotomy? Yes.
#3: Orem Community Hospital; my midwife induced me a week early because I was so big. I opted to go unmedicated, and she broke my water. I only had to have a little bit of pitocin and with the help of my husband, mother, and midwife, my big boy was born. It was hard, man. You ever heard of the ring of fire? It's fiery! But at the same time, it was so awesome! I was in control almost the entire time. Episiotomy? No.
#4: Orem Community Hospital; my midwife let me be induced a week early because I was measuring as big as I was with #3. Although I was induced with the breaking of my water, the blasted doctor on call (not the midwife) "encouraged" my increasing pitocin levels because he went off duty in less than 12 hours. And even though I was progressing, I was at the highest level of pitocin by the time I hit an 8. It was so sharply painful, my midwife gave me what I call the "loopy" drug. It helped me relax between contractions but didn't take away the pain. Meh. Episiotomy? No.

*Please note that I went from doctors who gave me episiotomies to midwives who did not. I love me some midwives. Also, that blasted pitocin is my enemy. I hate the stuff and I won't forget it! I would much rather labor for 24 hours than have that sharpness inside of me again. Slow and steady gives me control; fast and furious gives the pitocin control. I will never again give the pitocin control! Never, I tell you, never!

Birth Stats:
#1: 8 lbs 3 oz, 19 inches
#2: 8 lbs 6 oz, 20 1/2 inches*
#3: 9 lbs 11 oz, 22 1/2 inches
#4: 8 lbs 5 oz, 21 inches*

*I actually don't remember how long #2 and #4 were; isn't that awful? I'd go look it up, but their baby books are in the office somewhere. And the office is covered in boxes that are still unpacked. So...that's not gonna happen. At least for not now. So, we'll go with my guesses, and if I find out I was wrong or suddenly remember correctly, than I'll let you know. Thanks for not nominating me as the worst mother of the year. It's appreciated.

Want to play along? Fabulous! Just let me know in the comments if you did your own Labor Post so I can come read about it. Meanwhile, tell me what you did for Labor Day. Hiking in the rain? Party in the kitchen? Visit to the museum? Tell me about it.