Intense Gratitude and Profound Thinkage

So, yesterday I wrote a post about my mean mothering. I hadn't planned on writing it. In fact, the original post started like this:

"What should I write today...? Ho-hum, doopidy, dum..."

Literally. That was how I was starting my post meant to be filled with all kinds of random cruddiness. But then I thought, "Nah, I'll just write about how I suck as a mom." I had no idea it would be so well received!

I think this may be due to one of two things: 1. I need a lot of help and advice because I'm just a failure as a mother, or 2. You are all cruddy mothers, too, and the guilty like to associate with the guilty. Any takers on which one it was...? Yeah, okay. I get it. You're done admitting your vast weaknesses. It's okay, I have my confession limits, too.

But, anyway, I just want to thank you. All of you! Thank you to my regular comment-people, and to the new people that somehow found their way to me (y'all come back now, y' hear? Ooh! Bonus points for the show and who said it...). I just want to let you know that you are at least 51% of the reason I write! Sorry, I can't give you more than that. I need the other 49% for my own personal reasons. I mean it is my blog, my thoughts, my heritage, my escape from this crazy world.

Just sayin'.

But thanks for all the kind words and wonderful advice. I would thank you each personally and individually (redundant much?), but how do I respond to 22 (or more?) comments?! What the?! You people sure make me feel good. Holy cow, I'm watering in the eye regions now...

Anyway (now that I have paused to use a tissue or two), I had some profound thoughts on my mind, so stick with me as I peruse through the not-so-quiet corners of my brain:

1. Lizzie had her baby! Last night! Hooray! That is all I know at the moment, but I'm sure they will blog about it, so go and give them your congratulations...

2. I'm thinking of making a list of all of my friends that did the 10 picture Meme/tag/oh-my-heck-did-you-actually-make-me-take-pictures-of-my-house-just-now?! What do you think? Should I make a link on my side-bar for those? To go along with my brand-spankin' new Spotlight Sunday Series and How I Lost The Weight Series? What say you?

3. I'm loving this community thing we've got going. Has anyone noticed that many of us comment on many of the same personal blogs? Have you loved it as much as I have? I love seeing familiar names here and there and everywhere. Keep it up, people! Expand your commenting into other places. Not that I'm encouraging blog addiction. I mean, my family is already thinking of an intervention, so...you know...

4. Last night was #2's preschool graduation. Here are some pictures and videos for your entertainment. [And advanced apologies to Cristy (who is not blogging lately because of intense pregnancy sickness she sadly must endure for the entire 9 months) because her beautiful son is in these videos and I didn't even ask permission. Seriously, Cristy, I'll take them down if you want me too!]

By the way, if you are wondering if #2 will be on Broadway when she gets older, the answer is "Duh!"

(Here's her teacher, Mrs. P. Love her! So much, in fact, that #3 is going to be in her preschool next year! Best part? Her home is within walking distance.)

5. Father's and Son's camp out is tonight. #4 will not be going due to age, but #3 cannot wait for camping with dad! He's so excited! I'll be more excited when #4 is old enough to go...

6. Today is #1's last day of school. #1 is now officially finished with the First Grade! Holy-freakin'-cow, when did I get a Second Grader as a daughter?? Honestly, these things creep up on me so slowly and then SLAP! It's right there in my face. Now I feel kind of old...not quite unlike how Leslie is feeling lately...

7. This weekend is my last chance to see U2 on the IMAX theater. If I don't end up seeing it, I might seriously gouge my eyeballs with a fork. Or throw a tantrum, on the floor, legs kicking, arms flailing, etc. etc. Wish me luck! Bythelbs is counting on me. I have to see it! I have to!

Have a Fabulous Weekend!

Mean Mom, That's Me!

I've been a really mean mom this week.

It started Tuesday night, when I asked the children nicely if they would be willing to do 10-minute clean up with me. 10 minute clean up is wonderful! We set the timer for 10 minutes and clean as fast as we can until the timer goes off. It's easy-cheesy, and makes my life blissful. But my first mistake was that I asked them if they were willing. Never ask a child if they are willing to clean. Ever.

I offered them a full hour of backyard playing before bedtime if they would help me.
"Grumblegrumblegrumblegrumble..." and they consented to help. I set the timer, counted down, and yelled "Go!"

Not one person moved. #1 sat on the living room floor, pouting. #2 stood there, holding her blanket. #3 looked confused. #4? He's exempt due to age.

It took me ten seconds to lose all control. All reason. I yelled at them all, turned off the timer and sent every child (sans #4) to their rooms. It was 6:10PM. They had to go to bed. No stories, no playing --pajamas and bed. The surprise? I didn't yell guilty things at them as they were getting changed like I'm prone to do. I just quietly cleaned up the house. Brandon wasn't around, as he had gone straight to Young Men's after work that night. I have a feeling if he'd been there he would have been able to convince them to clean easily. He's very persuasive.

Last night, I made a good dinner. I liked it; #1 liked it. I cooked oil, white balsamic vinegar, chicken strips, long green beans, and potatoes in a skillet. I topped it with cheese. Brandon loved it (later that night). #2 and #3 wouldn't even look at it. I told them they had to try their food tonight. I was tired of their picky ways and they needed to try it --not eat all of it. Just try it. #2 refused. #3 laughed and refused. Something inside of me finally snapped.

Yelling ensued. They got sent to their rooms. For the first time that I can remember, my daughter and son went to bed hungry.

In the 5 and 3 years I've made meals for them, I have put up with their sensitive palates. I have allowed them to skip things. But no more, I tell you. NO MORE! I'm tired of it, and so help me, if they turn up their noses one more time without trying something, they will have many more nights without food.

So, yeah. I'm mean. I'm meaner when I'm alone. When I don't have a husband to pass off the responsibility to in the dinner/evening hours, I seriously have many more problems. Personally, I think it's just sheer exhaustion of the 24/7 dealio I've got going on here. [*note to husband: I'm not trying to make you feel guilty! It's just reality right now.] I'm not sure how single mothers do it without going completely crazy. I go crazy! Crazy, I tell you. Crazy.

The upside? My kids know I'm serious. I have a feeling if I try 10 minute pick-up tonight, they'll be more willing. We'll have to wait and see...

Are you mean? Are you meaner without hubby around?

Sacrifice?

Go read this. And then this. The second "this" is a post written nearly 2 years ago on the element of Sacrifice. It's not too long, but it is amazing. I had never thought of sacrifice quite in that way before, and it honestly stopped me cold in my tracks. Go read it. Then share it. Then apply it. It's something I don't think I will ever forget (I hope!).

10 Pictures

Mother of the Wild Boys tagged me for this. And all I have to say is: Thanks. A. Lot. Okay, just kidding, because it's kind of fun! Kind of being the operative words. However, the humiliation might actually make me clean something! We'll see.

Here's the Tag: Take a picture of the following 10 things (immediately! No cleaning first!), and then tag 5 people to do the same on their blog. I actually took these pictures yesterday (Tuesday), so maybe my home looks better now. Maybe.

#1. Your Kitchen Sink

(It's kind of blurry --sorry! I'm not sure if that is from the photo or the grime...)

#2. The inside of your fridge:

(If you look closely to the bottom left, you can see #4's head as he races quickly over to the open fridge in excitement!)

#3.Your favorite shoes:

(I bought these shoes on sale at Old Navy after Christmas. They are my favorite because they are comfy, cute, and versatile!)

#4.Your closet

(I had to post three pictures because this is what we are living in. Remember all those Master Bedroom renovations we talked about doing? Yeah, well, obviously we haven't started yet. So, our clothes are kind of here and there and in boxes and the closet and...well...you get the idea. Notice the hanger formation hanging from the closet? That was #3's creation. He is an artist, dear reader!)

#5.Your laundry pile:

(No explanation needed. I hate laundry.)

#6. What your kids are doing right now:

(#1 was at school, #2 was at a friend's house, #3 was close to sleep whilst-a-watchin' Sesame Street, and #4 was laughing and following me around the house while I took pictures.)

#7. Your favorite room in the house:

(My favorite room is the kitchen/living room/dining room. This is my kitchen desk where I spend most of my time. It's full of books, papers, and the laptop. I love it because I can be doing important things (ahem, blogging) and still be at the center of everything; my kids always know where I can be found!)

#8. Your Toilet:

(Maybe I should empty the garbage can??)

#9. Fantasy Vacation:

(Honestly, I want to travel the entire world. There are so many places I want to visit; Peru, Italy, Thailand, Australia, India, Uganda, Turkey, Norway, etc. But England is #1 on my list, and has been since I was a little girl. I'll get there one day! And hopefully spend many, many blissful weeks romping about the country.)

#10. Your Self-Portrait

("I wonder if anyone will stop reading now that they've seen how I live in squalor...Hmmm....")

Five People I Tag:
Amanda, Jamie J, Julie, Bythelbs (yep, you read that right!), and Janelle. If you would like to participate, you are more than welcome to do it! Just let me know so I can see your pictures...

Catch-Up Photos (again) for May 2008

[Just for your info, dear reader, the reason I do so many catch-up photos is three-fold: 1. My parents and grandparents appreciate it --they are always reading! 2. This blog is my journal and scrapbook both, because I am lazy like that. 3. You are entertained by them, no?]

#1 had her radKIDS "performance" earlier this month. Since we moved in at the end of the school year, she didn't get an entire year to do the program. But she still learned a lot and they let her be in in the circle showing her moves. I think this whole concept is a great idea! In fact, a couple of years ago, radKIDS helped a couple of girls escape their would-be abductor here in the Provo area. The girls used the skills they had learned while in this program. Awesome! Anyway, here's a video:

#1 got a Pteri kit from school, so on Saturday, we put it together (thanks to Aunt Brenna for her help!):

Here are some more pictures from the hike we did on Memorial Day (thank you for sending them my way, Ann!). Isn't it beautiful?:

Here are the gifts that my sister and I made for my brother's fiance (for her bridal shower on the 17th). Our future SIL loved them a lot, which made us like her even more, what with liking our gifts and all. Please note that the pictures we used were not printed on a high quality printer. Yeah, I just used my black and white one. And giving someone frames is really easy. The Temples and pictures of Christ borders on two of them? Hard. Printing off photos to put in the frames? Easy. Can you guess which part I did? Fo' shizzle!:

And here is a photo of Michelle, our soon-to-be SIL, me, and my mom at the bridal shower and her reaction to our gift!:

Memorial Day Weekend 2008 or Hiking in the Rain!

Journal-like Re-cap of the Memorial Day weekend:

Friday:

Fun, what fun! My awesome cousin and his wife had spent a fabulous week in the Bay Area (of course, after we moved from there, sheesh!) and decided to spend one day in UT (with his parents) before heading back to the Great White North (that's Canada, in case you weren't sure). So, we got together with our kiddies and enjoyed some time at the Museum of Ancient Life at Thanksgiving Point. As predicted, we had a great time! It was wonderful to talk to my cousin again; we rarely see each other anymore, what with the distance (well, they did just move to Calgary. Before that, they were in Edmonton!). He was like a big brother to me growing up, and seeing him again made me realize how much I've missed our conversations. I'm not sure how much he realizes what a positive influence he was on my early life. His letters and advice got me through some tough times as a teenager. Personally, I'm very grateful that he found such an amazing and wonderful wife! Amy is a gem and he is so lucky to have her around.

After the fun day [and the long, tedious out-of-the-way drive back to Provo because of a massive and scary accident on I-15 South which actually turned out to be quite spectacular --the drive, not the accident --because we got to see Utah Valley awash in beautiful light and my kids even commented on the beauty of the views before us (see, we were driving up on the bench near Cedar Hills, etc.)], Brandon-the-hot-hubby and I went out on a date. Date night has become quite the regular routine around here, and we are both addicted. I don't think we can ever go back! Anywho, we went to Magleby's restaurant and a quick stop for me to pick up some lotion at Bath and Body Works. Short date, but fab, none-the-less. Ooh! And I saw one of The 5 Browns at the restaurant (the older brother). I've seen them perform a couple of times and they are very good!

Saturday:

The kids, by some divine miracle, got all their chores done before 10:30AM. The divine miracle, if you were wondering, was the arrival of three second cousins. I agreed to watch Brandon's cousin's three oldest daughters (ages 7, 6, and 4) for a few hours. Wonderful, this miracle! The house was clean and the kids had a blast enjoying their cousin's company.

In the afternoon, Brandon's sister arrived. Long story short: Brandon's father was supposed to be getting married on Sat, but due to some unfortunate consequences, the wedding has been postponed. Brenna still came to visit, though, and we were so happy to see her! Although the kids protested, we took her to Omar's (sans kids; thus the protests) that night. She loved it. No surprise! We love it, too.

After we got home, our Bishop stopped by for a chat...and guess who got a calling? Nope, not me. Unfortunately. I mean, I guess it's okay for now, but honestly? I want a calling! I'm sure I'll get one soon enough...sigh...Anyway...what? You want to know what Brandon was called to do? He has two callings now, dear reader, and they are the Course 14 Sunday School teacher and an Assistant Priest' Quorum leader. Yep! He has graduated! When we lived here before, he worked with the Deacons for 5 years. When we moved to California, he worked with the Teachers. Now he is with the Priests! (for those that do not know, the Young Men are divided into groups. Deacons=12-13 year olds; Teachers=14-15; Priests=16-17. Brandon's callings have to do with religious instruction on Sundays and weekly activities on Tuesday evenings. It also calls for occasional scouting camp outs and outings). I was not surprised. At all. Brandon is such a great leader for the boys.

Sunday:

We said good-bye to Brenna (her stay was too short!) and began our busy Sabbath. I had to play for the choir (last minute substitution), and Brandon sang with the choir. When they called Brandon to his new calling in front of the congregation, the reaction was immediate and expected. The young men were thrilled! So were their parents...

After church (where, by the way, #4 was spectacularly good for once) we had a visit from our home teachers, and later we invited over part of a family Brandon home teaches for dinner. I say "part of" because it is a couple in our ward and the wife is in Africa helping people in Mozambique. So, we invited her husband to eat with us. Although I told Brandon that having so many guests over the weekend gives me stress, it was very nice because I actually kept things clean! Very nice, indeed.

Monday:

RAIN! Holy cow, did it rain. So much rain! But we were not to be deterred. Remember our good friends, Ann and Brent? We decided to spend the day together and we all wanted to hike. Hike. In the rain? Well, why not? We drove up Provo Canyon and headed up to Aspen Grove Family Camp. The Alpine Loop was still closed, so we were glad we didn't choose American Fork Canyon! We stopped at Aspen Grove and ate our picnic at the covered pavilion, which, by the way, is not a good thing to do if you are in the area. Why? Because it's private property! So stay away! But we were glad we had our quick lunch there because we ran into the Parkers; they are the director's of the camp, and we haven't seen them in almost a year. For those who do not know, Brandon and I worked at Aspen Grove Family Camp for three summers (Brandon three, me two) and we have spent many, many hours romping around there. I think I've hiked Stewart Falls about 37 times, First Falls 7 or 8 times, and Mt. Timp. once (Brandon has hiked Timp many, many times). Brandon kissed me for the first time hiking on the First Falls trail; he proposed to me over-looking the valley (and no, we did not meet there; we worked there after we were married.) We know that area almost as well as our own home. It was so good to be back --even in the rain!

We decided to hike First Falls because of the pavement (Stewart Falls would have been very, very muddy!). When we parked in the right parking lot and got ready to go, the rain increased. We waited a few minutes to see if it would slow down. And it did! As it died down a little, we dressed the kids in ponchos, got ourselves packed up, and decided to head up the trail regardless of the water. We were determined! The kids weren't upset, either, and were up for the challenge (and the whining was much less than the Zion hike we did last month).

About half-way up the trail, the rain stopped, the sun shone through the clouds, and #1, in excitement came running down the trail.

"Mom! Mom! My prayer worked! I said two prayers that the rain would stop, and it worked! It worked!"

Indeed, it did!

We made it to the top and enjoyed a small break viewing First Falls, the view of Aspen Grove below, and we even went on a little bit to see Second Falls, although parts of the trail were impassable because of snow (which, indeed, stopped us from going too much further). As we started back down the trail, the rain came back, and some sleet/snow started to fall.

We made good time down the trail, but just before the bridge (well, the bridge that no longer exists, for those who know the trail), #3 tripped and landed right on his face. Hard.

Not being one for emergencies (and with a baby strapped to my back), I yelled for Brandon, who came to the rescue. There was a ton of blood --all from poor #3's little nose. Brandon ended up taking off his shirt to get the bleeding to stop and carried #3 down the trail for the rest of the hike. Now I want you to imagine this picture:

You see the back of a tall man wearing a Driza-bone jacket (floor length) and an Aussie hat (brown) walking down a mountain trail, holding in his arms a 3 year old little boy, speaking words of comfort. To some, the words "Jim Craig" come to mind. To others "Mountain Man" or "Concerned Father". To me? I had never been more in love with my husband than I was at that moment.

He's my hero, after all.

#3 is okay, for the record. He has some scratches on his face, and he was swollen for a few hours. But he's no worse for wear, thank goodness!

Once we got the kids in the cars and convinced them they had a "GREAT TIME!!!" on the hike, we all headed back to Provo to our house. We made the kids dinner (mac&cheese and hot dogs, yum!) and then sent them downstairs to watch a movie because we adults wanted to eat in peace. Why? Brandon --as if he wasn't already wonderful enough--made us an amazing Thai meal. We had soup, red curry, massaman curry, Pad Thai, and rice. It was soooo gooooood!

After dinner, we convinced the kids to go on a short walk with us around the neighborhood. It rained on us just a little bit, but the sun was out, so it wasn't too cold. It was funny, walking with our friends, our 6 children running around, Ann and I with babies on our backs (and incidentally, wearing matching Beco carriers). I'm sure we are a sight to see whenever we are out together.

It was a great day. Honestly, one of the best! I'm so grateful that we braved the weather and did what we wanted to do without fear of being bested by the elements. It taught me one good lesson: Why not try? What's the worst that will happen? And because we tried, we had a blasted good time.

*Some may wonder why I didn't mention any Memorial Day service or grave-visiting. I think this is because Brandon and I have never thought about it before. Most of our relatives are still alive, and if they are not, they are not buried here (that we are aware of??). But after reading about different experiences (like this one here), I think I may have to re-think our activities for next year.

How was your weekend? Did you do anything exciting? Do tell! If you wrote about it on your blog, let me know so I'll be sure to go read about your great weekend...

Spotlight Sunday: Michelle

Spotlight Sunday is a weekly blog post dedicated to one person that has inspired me to be a better person. This will include people I have known all my life, met recently, and/or know only through blogging. If you want to be a part of Spotlight Sunday, then just be patient! I'll get to you, I promise. :)

Who is Michelle?
A daughter, wife, mother, teacher, organizer, friend and sister.

How do I know Michelle?
Well, it happened almost 25 years ago. Michelle was born in August of 1983, and I remember hiding on the staircase at a friend's house, listening to the grown-ups talk downstairs near the kitchen. I wasn't sure why we were there; I don't remember knowing why we were there, but I do remember someone noticing me after a few minutes. They came over to the stairs and told me that my mother had given birth to a little girl. They named her Michelle. And I loved her from the very beginning! She and I have two brothers, so it was just "us" growing up. Still, having a four year distance between us kind of kept us worlds apart. As I was dating, she was starting middle school. As I was going to college and getting married, she was embarking upon high school. But I think we always shared that special bond sisters share, regardless of age. When she decided to go to BYU (like her brilliant older sister did), it began four years of intense friendship; we grew closer than we ever had been before! Now we are both wives and mothers, and our relationship continues to ebb and flow (as sisters' relationships do, what with husbands, children, PMS, etc.), but I like to think we're still the best of friends.

What is it about Michelle that inspires me?

1. Health and beauty: There's no doubt about it, Michelle got the looks in our family --the thin body, the elegant bone structure, the ability to eat like a horse, birth two children, and look like she did in high school (dang, it's not fair!). She has gorgeous eyes, thick hair, and beautiful skin (even though she thinks it's too pasty-white). She even looks amazing pregnant! I know these aren't necessarily things I can change about myself, but what I love about her health and beauty is that she hasn't let any of that affect the inside of her --she's as beautiful inside as she is on the outside. She's not cocky, nor proud, and she really doesn't spend that much time or money on her beauty (gosh darn it). So, I can't hate her too much!
2. Organization: She has always been amazingly organized. Amazingly! As a child, she would label our Barbie and doll collections; everything had a place. As a high school student, her notes were perfect and precise, her room flawlessly cleaned, and she knew where everything was at all times. As an adult, I'm sure she thinks her place is crazy-messy with two small boys, but you know what? Her place is organizational perfection --at least from my point of view. Seriously, she is awesome when it comes to making sure each item has a place and her home is clean and tidy. Her organization rocks!
3. Creativity: Scrap booking (she's got good ones; not necessarily caught up, but they're still good!), card making (very cute!), cooking (uses new recipes often), cake decorating (you should see this one! and this one!), and crafting/projects --these are things she does well that I rarely think about doing. I admire her creative mind and her desire to do new things. Her home is an example of the things she does; it may be a modest place, but it sure is beautiful!
4. Peacemaker: As kids, Michelle was always the one to stop the fighting. She hated contention and tried to make sure we would all get along. Her desire for peace in our home was a big factor in resolving conflict, but also moved over into areas of religious instruction. Serious! Michelle was the reason we started doing FHE again. She was adamant about our family doing it each week, and sometimes she would plan the whole thing. I wouldn't be surprised if she was the one who convinced my parents to start family scripture study as well (although I think that one goes to the parental units). These things were what solidified her being dubbed "the favorite" in the family. As I told my brother once: "It's okay that we admit Michelle is the favorite, because she's every body's favorite!" Of course, now we can fight like the rest of 'em, but she's still the peacemaker in my mind.
5. Teaching: Michelle got a double degree in Early Childhood and Elementary Education at BYU. Although she doesn't teach school right now, I was lucky --so lucky! --enough to send #1 to the BYU preschool where Michelle was doing part of her internship. #1 got to have her aunt for 6 weeks of preschool! Wa-hoo! She did an amazing job, which shouldn't be surprising, what with her creativity, her patience, her organization, and her cute body. Okay, just kidding about the cute body part! But she was cute whilst-a-teaching, because she was 7 months pregnant at the time. Talk about amazing! Michelle was always my favorite babysitter because I knew she loved my kids, and I also knew she would use her teaching skills while she was with them, i.e. reading, crafts, playing, etc. She's really great with children and if she ever gets the chance to be a preschool or elementary teacher in the future, I know she'd do a great job! And regardless of what she thinks, I know she's a great mom, too. :)

I love you, Michelley-belly!

All Kinds of Goings On

I'm sure many of you have heard about the recent ruling in California where four judges decided to overturn Proposition 22. Just the fact that over 60% of CA residents voted in favor of Prop. 22 and are now being told they were "wrong" makes me sick to my stomach (haven't the people spoken?).
Throughout the last 10 years or so, I have studied the issues of SSM (same sex marriage) and I have come to some very difficult and lasting conclusions. Honestly, I probably should dedicate an entire post to the subject, but my blog here is not an open forum. I don't want to argue points like that here (nor cause unwanted traffic sent to "put me in my place", etc.). Just know that I do not agree with SSM, and I agree with everything my Church leaders have spoken on the subject. If you would like to know about that, please read here, here and here.

But I did want to let you know about some blogging comments that not only give me hope (and make me yell YES! YES! YES! at the computer), but very logically and perfectly explain (where I cannot because of my lack of skillz and prose and brain power) why they are against SSM and the arguments people use to promote it. Mondo Cool and M&M's comments start around #32 if you are interested in skipping the rest of the blog post (which is very good, actually).

[If you are here to argue with me, please leave. I will not debate this subject here. If you want to debate, go find a community blog. Thank you.]
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My friend Jen recently lost her grandmother and shared with us a poem she had written in 1974. Go here to read it. It's simple, but very poignant.
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Thanks to all of your suggestions on the routine post, I have made myself a list/routine/goal for the summer. I have another week of slacking/psyching-myself-up and then come June 2nd, we're off and running! Each and every one of your comments was used and thought about when I sat down to brainstorm a plan that would work for me. Thank you, again!
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It's raining today. It rained all day yesterday, too. I don't mind the rain, but I mind the children who refuse to play in the rain. I'm really hoping that the skies will clear for Memorial Day weekend because we've got some fun stuff planned:

• Seeing my cousins as they pass through on their way back to Calgary tomorrow. Hooray!
• SIL is flying in on Sat for a couple of days. We're taking her to Omar's!
• U2 IMAX, baby!!
• Hiking/picnic with friends up AF canyon.

Hopefully it all works out. In the words of #2:

"Mr. Sun, Sun! Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on, PLEASE SHINE DOWN ON!!!, Please shine down on meeeeeeeeeee..."

What are you doing for Memorial Day weekend?

The Universe is Against Me

Well, serves me right. I didn't vote. So much for my prophetic-AI abilities! Sigh.

Unfortunately, I saw the results in a restaurant in North Ogden. So, I didn't watch the show, and I still haven't watched the entire show --I only know that David Cook won. I'm sure I'll watch it later today...it looked good! Was it good?

It totally feels like Season Two when Clay Aiken lost to Reuban Studdard (dude, how do you spell Rueban?). Clearly, David Archuleta was the better singer. Ah, well. Life goes on.

Wait, Cheryl! you ask, Why were you in North Ogden??

Why, thank you for asking! I was meeting three fabulous high school friends I haven't seen since...well...okay, I saw Julie last week, and I saw SWC the week before, but BLS I haven't seen for a couple of years! And I don't think any of them have seen each other for a long time, either. Since one lives in Logan, and two are in SLC, we met up in Ogden. Best part? Besides reconnecting with old friends that haven't changed all that much and it felt so wonderful to be with them that even after the 2 hour dinner we stood in the cold parking lot for another hour still talking and then planning the next time we would see each other?? We ate in a restaurant that started in Blackfoot, Idaho. Yep! Melina's started there and we know the family (at least I think it's the same one. Is it?? Maybe I'm wrong...) But you'd be proud of me, dear reader. I didn't get the fried ice cream (but I did inhale all the chips/salsa --doh!).

So, are you happy David Cook won? Or sad? Or way past it and not caring?

Perfection or Justification?

I really want to thank all of you who left comments on my Routine Post yesterday. Seriously, your experiences have helped me out so much! There was one comment that sparked the inner-workings of my brain and reminded me of something I have been thinking about lately. I decided I needed to write an entire post (all be it, short) about this idea, and so...here it is! Thanks to Katie for leaving the following comment:

...as another LDS mother of four little kids, I do have a suggestion. Give yourself a break. We live in such a culture of perfectionism that we sometimes forget that we are expected to TRY--not to have it all figured out *right now*. And I know that is difficult since everyone around you looks like they have it figured out already (or, at least, the ones around me usually do). So I'll tell you my reality. My house is messy. My kids spend most of the day in unstructured play (which is healthy for them to have, really). Sometimes dinner comes out of a box (or a takeout). And sometimes I'm preparing for my calling in Young Women up until right before I leave for mutual (heck, sometimes I'm still doing it while the girls are walking in the room). My husband and I were talking about this last night. It is so easy to lose perspective when you think of all of the things it seems like you *should* be doing. But as long as you're keeping your family first, you are doing what you need to. The rest falls into place.

She has a similar perspective to a lot of LDS women, I've noticed. Many LDS women feel the need --nay, the right --to give themselves a break. And I don't blame them! I actually agree with this, because sometimes women are very hard on themselves. Comparisons to other women (to the ideal) along with pity for their failures, women are their own worst critics.
But somewhere along the way, this attitude of "giving yourself a break" has taken a nasty turn in my opinion, and personally? I think that's what prompted Sister Beck's talks in the Relief Society Meeting (Oct. 2007) and in General Conference.

LDS women don't have time to wallow. We don't have time to engage in notorious amounts of self-pity. And believe you me, dear reader, I wallow and pity myself. A lot.

I think that if LDS women are truly to live up to their potential, they need to stop engaging in both of these harmful attitudes. They need to stop expecting perfection, and they need to stop slacking off.

Where is the happiness in demanding instant perfection? At the same time, where is the happiness in constant justification? Honestly, if I would just pick myself out of Satan's Pity Trap and get to work, I would be happier. I know this, because I do it over and over and over and over...Thus the post about routines. I knew I needed help, so I got it and now I'm movin' on. Will it be perfect? Heavens, no! Will I probably have to re-visit the subject again and again? Fo' shizzle. But will it help me stop wallowing for a time? Hallelujah, yes!

So, dear reader, how do you view these types of things? Are you too hard on yourself? Or are you too easy on yourself? Where do you fall? And what are you trying to do about it?

Let's Get Ready to Rumble!

I really enjoyed tonight's American Idol performances. The whole boxing thing was kind of dumb, but it was dumb enough that it actually worked. Figures!
Okay, here's my take on everything:

David Cook

• I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For: Okay, I'm a HUGE U2 fan, so when I heard he was singing this, I was not happy. At all. Bono is a freakin' genius with his own music, and it's some of the hardest stuff to duplicate. But I have to give David props because he really did a decent job. But it was still kind of "eh" for me, because I couldn't help but compare him to Bono. Sorry, David! I couldn't help it.
• Dream Big: I would buy this single. I would. It was very, very good! Maybe it helped that I had never heard the song before (or any of us, for that matter), because it was great to hear something that David Cook would be selling. I liked it. A lot!
• The World I Know: I thought this was a great song, and a great performance. I would probably buy this re-make, too. But it was the wrong song for the finale of American Idol. Come on, David! You know that! The only saving grace was his pompous "I didn't want to do something I already did." Sure, David. That's fine. But David A. did, and that's why he's gonna win.

David Archuleta

• Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me: Like Paula, I got goosebumps! He did a good job just singing it out --and it wasn't cheesy, either. I really loved it!
• In This Moment: I don't know why the judges hated these new songs (like David Cook's), but I loved it. The melody in the chorus was just beautiful. Here's a shout-out to the composer! Anyway, once again, David just did a phenomenal job! He was flawless. Flawless.
• Imagine: Not as good as when he did it in the Top 24 weeks (which week was it?). I think that is because first, it's not "new" anymore and couldn't take us by surprise like it did when he first did it, and second, I didn't like the runs he added. I wished he had kept it as pure as the first time he sang it. But still, it was awesome! Sorry, David Cook. David A. blew this one out of the park.

Who should be voted off?
David Cook

Who will win this whole competition?
David Archuleta

Who predicted David A. would win back in the Top 24 before anyone could even vote?
Cheryl

That's right, folks. I'm what you can call a "Pop-Seer". I can see into the pop culture future. Okay, maybe I'm just an American Idol Seer. Because that's the only place my powers exist. Ha!

What did you think? Who do you want to win? Did you vote?

Depressing Post OR What is Your Routine?

What is your schedule?

By that, I mean to ask, what it is you do each week to keep yourself sane? Do you have a chore schedule for yourself? Do you just do it as it comes along? How do you keep up with the demands of your small children and your stinky garbage?

I'm finding myself in a terrible, lazy, oh-my-heck-I'm-drowning-here-and-why-is-there-cereal-still-on-the-floor!!?-kind-of-rut. The move really threw me for a loop and I can't seem to find the routine that I'm satisfied with. My house feels eternally dirty, the laundry eternally un-done, the kitchen eternally yucky, and everything the children touch ripped to shreds.

Then there's the element of nothing to do. I was afraid of falling back into old habits and it's happened, dear reader. I have only one piano student, I have no calling, and I rarely speak or interact with any of my old friends in the ward. I see them on Sunday, and maybe occasionally during the week, but there are no phone calls, no play dates, no routines --and if there are, I don't hear about them (I know, I'm starting to whine, here).

My children have no structure (besides first grade and preschool), and no friends come over to play. Neither are they ever invited somewhere to play. They watch some PBS, go outside to romp in the yard, then back inside to the play room, and then more PBS. #1 is luckier because she has full-time school and almost always plays with her BFF after school. #2 and #3 just feel left out. #4 is blessed with bliss at his young age...

I know the solution to feeling left out, though, dear reader. I just need to call people and plan things and do things. I need to get my kids involved. But it's kind of late in the school year to start such things as Art school and piano lessons and dance classes. Plus, they cost money. Not to mention how lazy I am at present...sigh...Honestly, I really do know the solution. But I seem to have slipped past concern and right into apathy somewhere in these last few weeks.

So, help me! Don't preach to me, just tell me what you do. Perhaps I could learn from your experiences and find myself on top of things again.

Idaho Weekend

Well, Idaho was fabulous!
The kids and I woke up nice and early Saturday morning and made good time to Idaho (3 hours, baby!). The kids watched two movies during the drive and ate their cold cereal in almost complete silence. Never underestimate the beauty of early morning driving!
When my sister and BIL finally arrived (they were running a tad late) at my parent's house, we left all the kids with some nice babysitters (2 YW from my mother's ward) and drove to Rexburg. We left my BIL to hang out with my brother, and my sister, mom and I went to a bridal shower for my baby brother's fiance. It was so much fun to finally meet her! The shower was great and we had a really good time (even if I was at least 8-10 years older than all the people there. Well, my mom, obviously doesn't count...).
After the shower we all headed back to Blackfoot (including my brother and future SIL). I had a great time getting to know her and I sure hope she doesn't think our family is crazy (even though we are crazy) and that we dislike each other (even though the weariness of the traveling day got to my sister and I and we decided to have it out a couple of times Sat. night). In-laws are always a tough situation, because it's never quite like "home", you know? No matter how nice they happen to be, it's just not the same...
Right after dinner on Saturday, we enjoyed a nice long walk. It was such great weather and fun to be outside. Afterwards, my kids and nephew played basketball with their uncle. [Photos and videos of the events are below.] After we finally got the kids in bed, we played a roarin' game of Phase 10 (okay, not really, because sis and I were bickering, we were all tired, and most of us about fell asleep during the game. This may look like my sis and I are immature to be bickering at this age, but that's just it. We are immature!).

Sunday was wonderful! 11AM church made it so much easier on us all after the busy day before. The kids did well in Sacrament Meeting and then I did something just shameful. I took #4 to nursery. Yes, I did! He's only 15 months old, but I knew he would be so much happier in a place with food and toys. They have a divided nursery, so all the kids in there were pretty much under 27 months, and there were only 3 or 4 other kids. He did so well, too! And because of that, I had the best time in church. The Sunday School lesson about Abinadi was exactly what I needed to hear. Then in Relief Society, the lesson was about the Gifts of the Spirit; another lesson I needed to hear. I was grateful for the chance I had to be able to just sit and listen, without having to shuffle about with #4 --something, I realized, I've been doing for seven years. Shuffling about, in and out, over, under, and in between with each child. I'm so tempted to see if he can go to nursery early here in our ward...Hmmm...

Anyway, after a great time at Church, we ate, we packed, we played, and we said good-bye. My sister's husband drove back with me, and we had a fabulous conversation! It was good to have someone to talk to for the long drive. It made it go by faster. The kids were super-awesome again (no potty breaks!), and they even napped. We dropped my BIL off in SLC, and arrived home before 8:30PM. Brandon had cleaned the house (he even mopped!) and he had dinner waiting for us. What a great guy. I was soooooo happy to see him!

Here are the photos:

My nephew:

Oh, how sweet! What a cute couple!

Sibling love! (no, that's not me. It's Michelle!)

Grandma reading a story at the end of the day. (To only 3 of the 6 grandchildren visiting.):