More weight issues....but good ones!

Here we go:

• I lost 4.2 pounds this week! Perhaps my body will continue to do this: Lose 4, gain 2. Lose 4, gain 2. I'd rather just lose 2 every week, but we'll take what we can get! (yeah, I know, that math isn't quite right...) I AM SO EXCITED!! The total has come up to 12.2 pounds so far....whoo-hoo! Only 28 to go! :)
• I ran 1.2 miles this morning and walked the other 2. It feels so good to know that my body can do this! That I can actually run. I haven't run for so long, and what is amazing is that I'm going to be able to run 3.2 miles soon. I never thought I could do it, but I can! Thanks to "J" and all her pushing, encouragement and focus! You inspire me!
• DH wouldn't let me have a chocolate cookie tonight. I found his secret stash, and was going to reward myself with one for losing the weight. He said "no! You can't! Have something else" and when I refused, he said "fine, have only half, okay? JUST HALF!" and I ran away with the cookie, took two bites and had to give it back to him. My stomach literally turned at the taste of all that sugar. I couldn't believe it! Thanks to DH for trying to keep me honest and thanks to my new body for knowing what's good for it and what's not good for it.
• Oh, and I have to say thanks to my parents and my sis this last weekend for making sure that I was at least trying to keep my points down and watch what I ate. THANK YOU!

Man, it feels good to accomplish such a little thing...:)

Weight Gain is not helping my goal, here....

I gained 1.8 pounds.

I'm not sure as to why, but here are some reasons:

1-I started running, but I didn't eat more to compensate
2-I ate too much, although they were the right foods
3-I had lost 4.4 the week before and my body is trying to compensate
4-All of the above

Who knows? But it sucks. Bad. I didn't think I would care so much, but it really bothers me. Here I have worked so hard, and for a pretty consistent amount of time, and yet I have little to show for it. Negative feelings keep trying to shove my logical thinking out the window. Because of this, I almost binged yesterday --and today. Instead, I remembered to write down all my foods (as usual) and it curbed my desires to screw up my record. How can I throw that first month away just because I had a bad week? That would be completely crazy.

So, another week has begun, and I'm going to stick hard to it. Plus, I ran an extra 100 yards this morning. My Body ROCKS!!!

Xbox

XBOX

It stands for:

Xtremely
Bad
and
Often
Xhausting

Well, for me, anyways. I did buy it for DH for Christmas 2 years ago (much to his joy and delight), and it has had its good points over the last few years. Such as Yourself Fitness and that fun Harry Potter game that entertains the kiddies. But some nights, I would like to take it and throw it into the never-ending-pit-of-dispair shed in our backyard.

However, I'm sure my feelings would change if I could actually play the darn thing. I'm so inept at video games and you would think, considering my amazing hand-eye coordination that is so frequently displayed whenever I touch a piano that I could play them, now wouldn't you?

Video games and I are not meant to be. ~sigh~

The DaVinci movie/book has caused quite a stir, don't you think?

The DaVinci Code movie is out. I know, I know, everybody knows...didn't I read the paper/watch the news/see the billboards/see the sky-writing??

I read the book, and I will admit I enjoyed it. Pretty good book, if you ask me, but I thought Angels and Demons (by Dan Brown--his first novel) was much, much better. Personally, I think his novels are continually getting worse. The first was the best and they are all chronologically slightly worse.

Anyway, I haven't seen the movie yet. I'm a little torn, because one --movies based on books are not always very good. And two --everyone in the world seems to be freaking out about it.

I can understand why the Catholic Church is a little offended. I can. If Dan Brown decided to write a book on Mormonism [which I hear he might actually be doing --I heard he was in SLC (this could just be a vicious rumor) doing research and studying architecture of the SLC Temple --something about Joseph Smith being a freemason? Interesting....] then I think I would be wary, too. WHY? Well, I know for a fact that Dan Brown's book is FICTION. Based on legends, yes, but still FICTION. However, people all over the world are forgetting that and are freaking out because they somehow believe this book to be history ---to be TRUTH. Which it is NOT. Well...of course you could argue like crazy about Christ being married, blah,blah, blah...but it doesn't change the fact that Dan Brown wrote a work of FICTION. But the poor Catholic Church doesn't see it like that --this is open criticism, fiction or not. So I can understand their plight. What if there was a DaVinci Code-type book out there making Mormons look bad?

Okay, well there are probably dozens, if not hundreds of books like that, but one as popular as The DaVinci Code? What would that do to Mormonism? How would we be percieved as LDS people? What if everyone thought that there was some crazy conspiracy behind it all?

I think I'd be upset. And that's why I feel for our Catholic friends.

But I'll probably go see the movie. I love Tom Hanks. He's brilliant! What is the consensus out there? Any opinions?

Different stuff

Random Blogging Thoughts:

• We had the BEST Stake Conference this last weekend. I won't bore you with details, but the Family Proclamation was the Theme. What was nice was hearing many things that I'm doing right. Of course, there are several that I'm doing wrong. And most of it has to do with my marriage. See previous post. :)
  
• For Mother's Day I recieved a beautiful piece of art called "Lavender Country". It shows a lavender field with a white stucco/red clay roof "shack" and the rolling green hills and trees of Italy. When I'm feeling down, I'll turn on Andrea Bocelli and look at my painting. Calms my soul. I LOVE that painting. Thank you, DH!!
  
• It's been the first few days of no piano lessons and it's been so nice. The piano recital on Saturday went well, but several students didn't feel that practicing was in their best interest, and so basically, they sucked. Well, not too badly, but I knew they were embarrassed. I hope they've learned their lesson for next time. It's interesting, but the recitals always do the opposite thing --perfect, not so good, perfect, not so good, etc. I guess they just need a break.
  
• My walking friend is now my jogging/walking/running friend. Yay! We're training for that 5K and it feels great. Slowly, we're making it...we can run about 1/2 mile now. Just 2 1/2 to go!
  
• Cleaning the yard is much harder than the house, I've decided. It's dirtier. (go figure). And I think it's harder to know what to do with stuff. You know, outdoor stuff...hmmm....maybe I'll save these thoughts for another day --when I actually finish clearing off the patio.
  
• Oh! Oh! DH's schedule is slowing down. YAY! FINALLY! He surprised us last night by coming home not only for FHE, but for dinner as well. It was really nice. I just wish I had been more grateful to have him home. I'm so used to him not being around, I kind felt like he was in the way....gonna have to work on that one! Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled to see him, it was just hard to adjust to his unexpected presence. :)
  
  Ahh, well I'm tired...enough blogging and enough thoughts for today...
  
  Favorite quote: "When men speak ill of thee, live so that nobody will believe them." --Plato

Is it I?

No, these were not our engagement pictures. In fact, I was almost 5 months pregnant with #1 when these were taken.

I like to look at these pictures (and gasp! my face is now out there! and so's DH's!) to remind myself of my former beauty. DH and I were young, thin, healthy, excited about the future, and anxiously awaiting the birth of our first child.

It was a wonderful time.

Now that's not to say that now isn't wonderful, too, but it's just different. We're fat(ter), older, tired, anxiously engaged in raising 3 crazy kids, filling our lives full with callings, work, our families, our children, our yard, our house, and desperately trying to keep ourselves as in love as ever amid the chaos.

As an MFHD major in college (yes I was and I make no apology) I learned a lot about marriage. A LOT. DH and I took marriage prep from Prof. Barlow, and we also took pre-marital counseling from Jeffrey Larson. I did intense study on marriage and divorce statistics, and perhaps, one day, I will go back to BYU and get my MFT (Marriage and Family Therapy) Master's degree. But oh! Does this make me an expert?

Not even close.

Dr. Larson pointed out (and still does in the latest Marriage and Families newsletter for winter 2006) that there are 3 stages of Marriage: Romantic Love; Disillusionment and Distraction; and then Dissolution or Adjustment with Resignation or Contentment.

I'm smack in the middle of the 2nd stage. Why? Well, come on! We're on our 7 year "itch", we have small children, we're attempting to save money for the future of those children along with our own impending retirement, and we hardly see each other anymore. Nothing kills the romance like #3 crying in the night or #1 accidentally walking in on us. Just kidding! Hasn't happened! I promise! (well, #3 crying has plenty of times...but not #1 walking in...) But just the thought that it could happen can kill the moment.

So, my goal, which is probably the most important goal that I could ever or will ever have, is to make sure DH and I can get through this 2nd stage in one piece. Elder Nelson's talk in April 2006 conference was inspirational to me. And not because I thought DH needed to hear it (although I'm positive he did), but because I needed to hear it. I need to apply those things to my part of the relationship as well.

Of course, changing myself alone will not change everything, but it sure will help. DH does his best and I know he loves me. That is a great start. But am I doing my best? Does he know that I love him? Or is the nagging and the complaining becoming too commonplace? Am I really appreciative that he works his rear off for these 3 long months so that we can have our home? Our cars? Our nice vacations? These questions always plague me during my "widowship". But this year, I am embracing them. I can feel a change inside of me. Some of my selfishness is melting away. Not quite unlike the ice-caps, but we'll talk about that later... :)

I guess I'm just starting to realize that infamous apolostolic question: "Is it I, Lord?" Am I the one at fault if the marriage isn't perfect? To look at myself and change myself is so much better than to blame and belittle.

I'm still learning. I'll get there one day...

10 POUNDS!!

I have done it. I have lost my first 10 pounds since starting WW 4 weeks ago.

Okay, well, it's 9.8 pounds. But still!

I could not come down from my natural high last night. My clothes are getting loose. My garments are getting loose. My bra is getting loose! (okay, well maybe not that loose). I was wearing a shirt that actually flattered me. And I think I might even have a waist!

J and I are planning our next goal: A 5K run at Thanksgiving Point on June 24th. It's the Running With Angels 5K --a FABULOUS book that was my inspiration for starting this healthy journey. I haven't actually run since the 8th grade. Seriously! But we are making slow progress and we decided that a 5K is doable (it's 3.1 miles) versus a marathon or something. :) So, wish us luck on that!

I'm just so happy. I can't believe how healthy eating, exercising each day, early rising, sharing thoughts and feelings with a good friend, and having DH's unwavering support would give me such a high. Such a feeling of overwhelming accomplishment, joy, and satisfaction.

Mom was right. I just wished I had listened sooner.

Sweet moments

Amid my crazy life comes small and sweet moments that remind me why I'm doing what it is that I'm doing. That one lesson in Church. That one talk in Sacrament Meeting. That one song on the radio. That one comment from a friend, neighbor, or family member. That one shout of joy from #1, #2, or #3. A sincere compliment from DH.

I love these sweet moments, and not just because it feels good, but my perspective is tapped just a tad in the corrected direction.

Nothing can be sweeter than to hear #1 whispering (loudly) to DH early on Mother's Day: "Dad! Let's go make breakfast for mom! Dad! Wake up! DAD!" or to unwrap one of my gifts that #2 picked out and see that it is "Hoodwinked" (rather than a fantastic romantic film). :) I love Mother's Day. A lot of women hate it, and most of them have great reasons to hate it. But I love it because for one whole day I am truly appreciated and reminded why I do what I do. I am able to step back and see that I truly am a much better housewife than DH (ha, ha!), my children really do love me and want to please me, and all the mundane day-to-day things are truly needed by my family. Oh, and I get great gifts. :)

So today I am grateful for those sweet moments and reminders. Amid my crazy life, there is solace and there is purpose. A beautiful, beautiful feeling...

Book Club

AHHH!!

I am hosting book club at my home this month, and the only catch is: I must assign the next book to read.

AHHH!!

So, any suggestions? I would really love to assign something I've never read, just so I can participate as a novice this month -- but here's the thing. I'm afraid to request something just by reading the cover. I did that with "The Notebook" and "Wicked" and both of them had graphic sex in it. I do NOT want to assign a book that will offend my entire book club (although they are not easily offended), and so I need suggestions! FAST!!

AHHH!!

#3 and good ol' cousin...

I love my cousin. She is gone on a "dig" for the next few months, but before she left, she stayed with us for a few days. She goes to BYU and we keep her stuff in our basement every summer. What I love is I just found this pic on my computer --she downloaded her camera before leaving, and luckily, my #3 was on it! Isn't he adorable! Yes, I am showing #3 because he is the cutest thing and smiles like that everytime you say "cheese!".

Another reason I had to post this was because I discovered a way to make him (once again) sleep through the night and scream/yell less. I have....drumroll, please...spent more time with him. Yes, more time.

You think I could of thought of that on my own, eh? Well, think again. My walking friend J gave me the advice, and it was brilliant (thanks!).

So, now, I will chase him, cuddle with him, tickle him, play catch with him, and I have found that he is generally happier. Go figure!

#2 and #1 I had down pretty good. #2 likes books. #1 likes to talk. #3 likes to ram trucks into things and throw anything he sees.

I think I'm starting to get the hang of this mom thing....

Lazy day, lazy day, GO AWAY!

Well, you guys all stink at advice (previous post). Okay, well maybe you have never experienced this (mom! :) ) or perhaps I just haven't been patient enough, but I must move on with my posts!

Today was a lazy day. You ever have one of those? I mean, down-and-out lazy with absolutely NO reason to be lazy, but you are lazy none-the-less? Here's how it went:

Woke up late --my walking partner is gone and DH went to work at 4AM.
Fed the kids.
Watched TV --ALL MORNING
Fed the kids
Watched TV --ALL AFTERNOON
Cleaned the bathroom, living room, and kitchen (to a presentable state) in 30 minutes.
Taught one piano lesson
Fed the kids
Watched TV --ALL EVENING

Man, I feel depressed. Just realizing how I spent my day I feel depressed! And no, I didn't ignore the kids like it sounds. I helped them color, they watched a movie, played princess, built a castle, #1 went to a friend's house, there was naptime, etc.
Yes, I'm justifying!

So, the plan for tomorrow will be:

Wake up and exercise (I miss you, J!!!)
Feed the kids
Shower, dress, make the shopping list
Shop
Go to the park
Teach 3 piano lessons
Return and make all phone calls
Plan and attend Primary Presidency Meeting

Yes, yes. If I stay busy and on top of those things tomorrow, the lazy day guilt might slowly start to leave... :)

HELP!

Quickly, quickly give me advice!

The "widowship" is into full swing --DH is now gone from 8AM to 10PM everyday --and now including Saturdays. How do I get through it? I need ideas to:

A) Keep me busy
B) Not be resentful
C) Keep my children entertained even when I'm exhausted
D) Figure out a way to spend time with/see/hear my DH so our marriage doesn't go to pot...

HELP!